Caspar

[Vera van der Heuvel]

I'm too lazy to walk over to you, especially when my breakfast is involved in the equation.

Why haven't I seen you around in..I don't know, forever? Are you avoiding me, Caspar fricking Law?

Vera xoxoxox

[caspar]

Merlin, you are lazy. I'm in the same room as you! Admittedly on the other end of the table, but hey.

It's not like there's no food where I'm sitting, silly.

Anyway. I talked to you like last week at quidditch practice! Is your mind growing feeble in your old age, you seventh year, you?

-Caspar xxx

PS: Be honoured. I don't write kisses for many people.

[Vera van der Heuvel]

Exactly. I have to practically hike all the way up the table. No thank you.

Yeah, but I've already filled my plate, so then I'd have extra luggage to carry while hiking, and then fill my plate again which would be a real task you know.

Last week! Is that what friends are for, weekly basis conversations? Weirdo. And who're you calling old?

Vera xoxoxox

PS: be honored. I don't write to many people.

[caspar]

Gosh, you're so lazy. If you were to join me at the cool end of the table, your owl (what's his name? Doofen-something, right?) wouldn't be drinking from my cup of pumpkin juice right now. Train your pets, jeez.

Use the accio charm! Obviously. I thought you were the clever one here... maybe not.

You're such a stalker. And I'm not a weirdo! How. Rude. You're the one with an owl called Doofen-whatever. Oh, and you're like a year older than me and that can make all the difference!

-Caspar xxx

PS: I am honoured. Are you?

[Vera van der Heuvel]

The cool end? I'll have you know, this is the cool end of the table. Do you see all the sexy ladies? You couldn't handle our dorm if you tried. And it's Doofenschmirtz! They are trained!

What, Accio plate? You realize there's about, I dunno, a hundred or so plates here right? And besides, why waste good magic when I can just scribble and send a message?

I am not! Take that back! Yeah but you're a guy, that automatically adds, like, 3 years to you. But not mentally, mentally you're down somewhere.

Vera xoxo

PS: A little bit. stop making me smile i'm supposed to be pissed

[caspar]

Oh shut up, you know the sixth years are the cool kids of the Hufflepuffs. Doofenschmirtz? Well, how was I supposed to remember that?! Remind me why you chose such an odd name?

Ugh, I don't know. Stop confusing me. 'Accio Vera's plate', or something? Unless you've got multiple plates of food in front of you- which would not surprise me. And because... it's good practice for your NEWTs?

It's true though. Embrace your stalkerness. I don't think that's a word, but who cares? And again, you're so rude! I swear you bully me.

Caspar xxx

PS: Never. It's part of my winning charm.

[Vera van der Heuvel]

No, they are not. Who on earth told you that. I think we need to sort out this confusion right away. Seventh years = awesome. Sixth years = meh.
It's an easy name to remember okay. You're a freak with bad memory, that's all. And I chose it because I wanted to. I'm kidding, I was watching a show on the tellie as a kid, and it came on a cartoon.

I am not a hog, I will have you know. I just have the needs of a growing girl which I am fulfilling. Oh yeah sure, they're going to test my skills on summoning charms in my final year. It's not like they did that for the OWLs already.

I don't bully you, Caspar, I am preparing you for the real world. If you were to go out and get talked rudely to, are you going to cry about being bullied? Hmm? Didn't think so.

Vera xoxo

PS: What charm?

[caspar]

Oh shut up. You used to be a sixth year, remember? All you seventh years are so boring.
You are so mean to me, I swear. And what sort of children's cartoon has a character called Doofens-watsit? What kid can remember that name?

I reckon you fulfilled the needs of a growing girl about two platefuls ago.
They could! To test how much you remember from OWLs.

I wouldn't cry. I'm a guy.
That rhymed! Hey, I'm a poet and I know it.

Caspar xxxx

PS: I have charm! It's why I'm so good at charms. Oh, I'm so funny.

[Vera van der Heuvel]

Yeah and back then, the sixth years were awesome and the fifth years were meh? Do you see the progress of awesomeness in the school? I know you'll catch up, you're a mart kid. And it was the name of the bad guy, and I liked it ok, that will be all.

Gee thanks, don't you know how to make a girl feel better. Not like you're making me self conscious at all.

No they won't. My I have a brother and a cousin who took them, remember? They don't waste their time on kid stuff like that, they think we're good to go if we pass our OWLs. Are we really talking about exams?

Please, I've seen guys cry. Come up with another excuse. And that was horrible poetry.

Vera no more 'xoxo' for you

PS: Oh my god, can somebody make me unread that?

[caspar]

Oh... shut up. I have no reply.

Aww I'm sorry my dear Vera (that was sort of a rhyme?). You know you're beautiful!

Oh yeah, forgot about that. I know nothing about NEWTs, because I'm the first magical person in the family. Yeah, why are we talking about exams? I think we need to stop this part of the conversation soon. I can already feel my awesomeness leaving me.

It was amazing poetry! Like the one above.

Caspar xxxxxyougetextrakissesbecauseIamnicelikethatxxxxx

PS: Well why on earth would you want to unread it? I should seriously consider being a comedian.

[Vera van der Heuvel]

Okay, how on earth was that a rhyme? It didn't rhyme at all! But I won't badger you much because you complimented me, so thank you. You're very dashing yourself.

Oh I know that. I was merely pointing out that I don't need it. But on to better topics of conversation like, are you shagging anybody right now or has ickle Caspar got a crush on somebody?

You need to sort out your idea of poetry, boy.

Vera (it took me a minute to figure out what you'd stuck in there. and no, just no, no xoxo)

PS: Yes. Maybe in a tragedy, so it can make people cry?

[caspar]

It completely did rhyme! Dear. Ver. Just add an 'a' on the 'Ver' and you've got yourself a sort-of-rhyme!. Dear. Ver(a). You see? And why thank you.

I don't think this is a better conversation topic, personally. NO COMMENT. And yourself?

Oh shush. It was poetry! Screw NEWTs, I'll be a poet. Scratch that- a comedian-poet.

Caspar xoxoxo (fine, I'll give you xoxos instead)

PS: Did you just hear that gasp? That was me. It was a gasp of shock. Why would you say something like that?

[Vera van der Heuvel]

Did you see that just now? I face-palmed. I literally slapped my face with my palm. Caspar, you know what I'm buying you for Christmas? I'm buying you a book with rhyming words, okay? Dear and Vera do not rhyme. The fact that Vera has an 'a' makes it not rhyme. Not a rhyme!

So that means you are either going through a dry spell, or you're shagging somebody in secret. Why won't you tell me? I'm not getting any, I could use some details you know.

No please don't. I don't think I could bear to see the failure of such a good friend in life. Take this as advice. Do not become a poet or a comedian.

Vera <3 (There, hearts)

PS: Because.

[caspar]

Well, I appreciate the gesture, but I really don't need it. I'm amazing at rhyming. My rhymes are like chimes... get with the times. See? And I am choosing to ignore that last comment.

As a matter of fact, I am not shagging anyone. Come on, you've known me for quite a few years now. Statistically, I'm not likely to be fucking. But I guess we have that in common then.

Failure? Wow, I'm glad you have so much faith in my comedic-poet career. When I'm rich, I'm so not letting you swim in my pool.

Caspar xxx (I'm just going to revert back to the xs because I can't come up with anything different.

PS: I don't know what to say. Let's stop with the PSs.

[Vera van der Heuvel]

Okay, granted that one rhymed, but it made zero sense. You can't just string together words, hoping they'll work. That's like...putting together a bunch of ingredients into a pot and hoping it'll be a dish.

But that's the thing. I'm not on the same page as you, because, statistically I am likely to be fucking and I'm not. Do you see the problem I am having?

When you're rich, after having a midlife crisis because you chose the wrong career path and then came to me for advice and set out to change your life, you're going to invite me to your pool and hire hot towel boys specifically for me.

Vera (: [you are so not creative. and you want to become a comedian-poet?]