Caspar

[caspar]

Maybe you can't, but I totally can. And don't bring up cooking. Cooking and rhyming are completely different. I should know, I'm amazing at both.
Okay, say I'm not amazing at rhyming (according to you)- but cooking you've got to admit I'm good at.

...nope, I don't see the problem. Explanation needed- I am just a sixth year boy.

Okay fine, but the towel boys I hire will be gay. So there.

Caspar oxox (I reversed 'xoxo'... and you say I'm not creative.)

[Vera van der Heuvel]

Hey I can cook up a somewhat decent meal. Exactly, and if you cook you should totally understand what I'm talking about then! And okay, you're good at cooking, but not rhyming. Ever.

Please, have you met the people in this school? That argument got invalid about five thousand years ago. People start fucking around way before that.

So not helpful. Do you really want towel boys fawning over you, when you can have them drool over me?

Vera xD (just don't)

PS: Can you pass some jam down here? It's all over here, I think Aidan ate all of it.

[caspar]

Like I said, cooking and rhyming are different! I'm amazing at rhyming. Here's a little poem I wrote off the top of my head:

Vera is a Hufflepuff,
So her colour is yellow, not green,
She finds towel boys buff,
And she is very mean.

Talent, no?

Oh shush. I've had my fair share of shagging, I'll have you know.

Well if the towel boys fawn over me, it shall be very boosting to my self esteem.

Caspar xxooxxoo (mixing it up.)

[Vera van der Heuvel]

Do explain how. I mean I know they are, but how is being able to match particular stuff together make sense/taste good any different?

Huh. I'll give that a 5 on 10. You know why? Because you insulted me. And I find good looking towel boys buff, not all of them. And obviously my color isn't green.

No.

I never said you didn't. You're the one who came with being a sixth year as an excuse not to.

Really? You'd rather have towel boys fawning over you than I dunno, towel girls?

Vera *:

[caspar]

Well... you can eat the product of cooking (food) but you can't eat the product of rhyming (poems). Also, you can hear poems but you can't hear food- unless it's some mental magical food that is.

5?! Huh. I'd personally give it a 10. Or even a 11. All the best poets aren't afraid to insult and write about controversial topics!

I think so.

Oh... shush. So how about you, why aren't you getting some?

You raise a fair point, van der Heuvel. A fair point indeed. How about this; I'll have gay towel boys to annoy you and to raise my self esteem, I'll have straight towel girls for the fun of it, and I'll also have lesbian towel girls for your self esteem. Thoughts?

Caspar xoxxoxxxoxxox

PS: I forgot you asked for jam... sorry. Louis has scoffed it all on this side.

[Vera van der Heuvel]

Really? You don't say (please note sarcasm). I meant conceptually, jackass!
Okay, just for your cockiness, you're getting a 4, okay? That poem was great for a nursery rhyme, regardless that nursery rhymes should, in now way, insult people or talk about buff towel boys. And I am not a controversial topic.

I'm not getting any and it's none of your business why unless you have an idea on how to fix the situation ok.

That works out for me, although I haven't been with a girl in a very long time. I was hoping you'd give me guys - but you know what, I'm so hot I'll turn the gay guys straight. Give 'em to me.

Vera *mwah*

PS: Why am I not surprised?

[caspar]

You can't express sarcasm over a letter! It's just not done. Honestly.

How. Horrible. Well, most of the great poets weren't appreciated during their time... in about one hundred years, muggle children will be studying my poems!

Okay, here's an idea (and keep an open mind, because I am a straight male so I think I would know what would get you some)... dress revealingly!

Hold up. Since when were you with girls? What did I miss?
Um... I'll hire extremely gay towel boys? I don't know.

Caspar ;)

PS: mixing it up with a winky face there.
PPS: Because... he's greedy. Or was that a rhetorical question?

[Vera van der Heuvel]

ooc: I'm so sorry it took so long =(

---

Well, what do you want me to do, make you look my way so that I can give you a sarcastic expression? It would make zero sense.

Yes, literary students will study your poems. 'What Not To Write and a 1000 other bad poems' by Caspar Law.

Oh, so be a slut then?

Okay either you haven't been paying attention for the past three years or you're just plain blind. Or have I not mentioned to you time and again, that once in a while I've gotten it with a girl? Or wait, was that Moira? Anyways, I don't anymore but I'm sure my body wouldn't mind.

Vera ♥

[caspar]

I don't know, invent a spell or something. You're clever enough.

I am so offended. Do you want me to write you another poem? Seriously, I don't mind.

Yeah, pretty much! Glad we're on the same page.

You never told me this! Well, this practically changes my perspective on life. Except not really. Either way, this means I can go back to my plan of hiring the gay towel boys and girls! Hurrah!

Casparrrrr x

[Vera van der Heuvel]

she sends him a drawing of a girl, rolling her eyes and making a sarcastic expression

---

There, does that drawing do it for you, or do I actually have to go ahead and invent a spell. Maybe I'll just send you a Howler and you can hear the sarcasm in my voice?

Okay, but there's no guarantee I'll survive reading it.

I am not a slut. Now, I'm offended. Good plan though

I'm pretty sure I did! I swear I did! Oh what perspective did you have before?! yay, so see, in the end you are inviting me to your pool party regardless of my blatant disregard for you "poetry" skills.

Vera =)

[caspar]

Hey, I didn't know you could draw! Nice drawing. It doesn't look much like you though.
Oh, and don't send me a howler. Aidan got one a couple of weeks ago and it was fucking terrifying.

Alright then!
Caspar's poems are great,
Above average, at any rate,
Vera says they're not so good,
But he's the best poet in the neighbourhood!

Awesome, right? Right.

I didn't say you were a slut, I said that dressing like a slut would get you laid. And it is an excellent plan.

You did not! I am so offended you didn't though. And I forgot I wasn't going to invite you... damn. Fine, you can come, but don't expect any ice cream. And you can't use the diving board.

Caspar (:

[Vera van der Heuvel]

Dude. Do you know anything about me at all? You know I love to sketch and paint. Unless you're pulling my leg, or something. Well yeah, how do you expect me to look pretty with that disgusted look on my face?

Oh he did, what about?

Better, but not good enough. You tried.

Hmph. Okay, but if it doesn't work, I'm blaming you.

What the hell. I am so using the diving board and you cannot stop me. I'd like to see you try, alright? I bet all the towel boys and girls, whom I woo, will totally side with me.

Vera ~ ♥ ~

[caspar]

Don't worry yourself deary, I was joking. You always have a pissed off look on your face! Whenever you talk to me, at any rate. Hmm.

I don't even know. I think he spilt some water on something of his uncle's. I wasn't really listening; I was more in shock than anything else. That was my first experience of a howler and I did not enjoy it. Thank Merlin my dad is a muggle, so he can't send me one.

I am so offended. Even though I put about 2% effort into that poem.

It will work! Trust me. Okay, who's going to be your first victim?

I can stop you! I will have security guards at the diving board- gay security guards, so don't get any ideas. Don't woo my towel boys and girls! The cheek of it.

x Rapsac