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Post by Teddy Lupin on Apr 20, 2012 12:40:49 GMT -5
LOUIS THEN,
What? That makes no sense. Not everyone is born with a rock for a heart you know, like you?
Okay, I'm not gay. You can ask you sister for proof.
Nor am I a prude! You can ask you sister about that as well.
I am not lying. What if I can prove it? Also, I know I'm hot, don't deny it.
Oh gee, just a reminder that I have, like, no real family. Thanks man. He's okay, but he's so defensive when he writes! It's like, you're going to disable an explosive or something. But he's like a fly compared to scary his dad is. Have you met him?
LUCY, apparently
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Post by Dominique Weasley on Apr 20, 2012 16:30:38 GMT -5
Luuuuuucy,
Rock hearts are the best. No emotions, no pain and no guilty conscience. Obviously the best sort of heart for a Quidditch Player.
Dude. It's a fucking song. Watch Musicals. Get educated. West Side Fucking Story? If I know West Side Story, you should, too, because I don't even WATCH musicals.
Psh. You're a prude. And oh, what a lovely conversation, talking about you and Victoire's sex life. I'll save it for a rainy day.
Prove it then. And you're marginally attractive - don't get too big for your boots, square-head.
Dude, the Weasley family as a whole would be insulted by that because you're basically counted as a family member, so zip that lip. And ugh I really dislike him. His dad? Oh yes. I frequently pop over to have a natter with Draco Malfoy at the Malfoy Manner. We play squash and do each other's hair.
Louis, apparently.
________
ooc. - SO SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY CALLED TEDDY LUCY. my mind, honestly. i had to bullshit my way through that one because dom doesn't make mistakes on principle, aha. /silly
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Post by Teddy Lupin on Apr 21, 2012 15:10:37 GMT -5
Louis,
No love, laughter and feelings either. But you can ignore me. Is that all you care about? Quidditch?
I don't even like Musicals. And no, I don't know what your talking about. I'm kind of busy with a job and making wands and stuff, you know?
Not touching that one with a ten foot pole.
What the heck, that was rhetorical. How the hell do I prove if I got laid or not? You do realize I can control my looks , right?
I can never get tired of hearing that. And not all the Weasley kids are like my cousins. That would be weird with Molly Victoire and everything, right? All I asked was if you met him. In your words, 'chillax'.
Lucy
PS: Can you imagine if Lucy or Louis were to ever find these letters and wonder if they have some crazy alter ego?
ooc - lol, nbd. this is actually fun xD
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Post by Dominique Weasley on Apr 21, 2012 16:59:00 GMT -5
Lucy,
I always ignore you. And yep, pretty much. Quidditch, music and food. It's a good life.
Oh my god. You freak. Okay, we're watching West Side Story next time you're at mine. Actually, you're coming to mine first weekend in the summer and we're watching West Side Story together. It's different to my usual gory flicks but I just cannot stand having you not know what I'm on about. Also I think you'll identify with the female lead greatly.
YOU HAD SEX WITH MY SISTER. Sexy sex. Hot sexy sex. And you told me to ask her about it. That's just weird, mate. But whatever, it's not as though you're the only person she's shagged.
You tell me who the fuck you banged. And if you can control your looks, then desquare your head?
Yeah, it'd be weird if you were getting frisky with one of your cousins. But the rest of us - the whole mob - we're all like your cousins, yeah? Me and Rosie and Roxie (never noticed how similar their names can be!) and Lily and Lucy (so are theirs. God, their parents sucked at individuality) and James and Lou-Lou etc etc. And all I said was that, yes, Draco Malfoy and I are best friends.
Louis.
ps. - sucks to be Lucy, having an alter ego like you. At least Louis' is some improvement.
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Post by Teddy Lupin on Apr 22, 2012 15:29:47 GMT -5
Louis,
You're such a guy, except you're not because even I'm not that apathetic. Okay, not such a guy..such a plastic doll. Why so Dom, why so?
Oh fine, I'll watch it, but if it's anything like that crazy shit movie you showed me about that freaky, haunting doll thing then I will never, ever stay over at your house again. And I'm not staying over if Vic is there, so yeah. You decide what to do about that.
I did, but I'm not anymore. So there. What the heck so she's shagging other people now. Of course she is, did she also get you to brag about this to me?. Whatever, I don't care that much.
I like my head, thanks. And I'm not telling you who I "fucked".
Okay, yeah you lot are, except Lily because she's more like a sister than a cousin really since I love her best obviously. Shit, I knew you were sadistic for a reason. He must give you, like, personal lessons or something.
Lucy,
PS: I don't mind, it's kind of fun actually. I like Louis better than you, he's nicer.
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Post by Dominique Weasley on Apr 23, 2012 11:45:20 GMT -5
Lucy,
Why does everyone call me a guy? I do not have guy parts. I have girl parts. Therefore, I do believe I am a girl.
You're such a pussy! That movie wasn't scary at all. And you're also a pussy about Vic. It's not like she's going to maul you as soon as you walk in the door! No worries, man, I'll protect you. Vic's no match against me. But she's not going to be there, so chillax. We can have a girls' night in. Popcorn and nail varnish and West Side Storyy! (:
You care.
You're such a girl. You're like Roxanne, she doesn't like it when I say fucked either. I'll try again: who did you make luuuuurve to?
Oh, cheers, mate. Doing wonders for my self esteem. I'll just have to get rid of Lily so that I can be your favourite. (I'm joking. I don't even like you that much!) Are you joking? I created Draco Malfoy. Well. Not literally. But still. Nobody can give me sadism lessons because I'm the master.
Louis.
ps. - whatever, he's a pansy. Oh, hang on! That's why you like him. He takes after you.
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Post by Teddy Lupin on Apr 23, 2012 13:14:12 GMT -5
Domi Louis,
It's your thought process. It's all chemical, really. I think.
It wasn't scary, it was plain creepy. Please, I'm not scared of Vic. I'm just saving all of us the awkwardness of it all. And no, it's not a girl night. We just established that you're a guy and so am I.
No, I don't. It's not like I'm not sleeping with other people too.
I did not make love either..it was somewhere in between making love and just fucking..I think! I am capable of one night stands, thanks. But if you're really that insistent on knowing about my sex life, then be prepared to handle who it was with. You know her.
I didn't say I didn't like you. I'm writing to you, aren't I, despite how mean you are. No, I'm pretty sure an ex-Death Eater can one up you on that one. Oh my, he's going to kill me because I said that.
Lucy.
PS: I take the taking after me as a compliment. The pansy thing, not so much.
ooc- 'I created Draco Malfoy' ROFL xP
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Post by Dominique Weasley on Apr 23, 2012 16:26:21 GMT -5
Lucy,
What d'you mean, 'I think'? I DO NOT HAVE A PENIS.
Whatever. You're scared of the awkwardness that will ensue. And puh-lease, you'd be fine at ours no matter what - I said I'd defend you, didn't I? And okay, then, guys' night in, you and me and West Side Story. Oh we are so macho.
SLUT.
Ooh, double-slut with your little one night stands! And I'm always prepared. And the fact that I know her doesn't narrow it down. Tell me, Mister Slaggy Slag pants.
Again: I am not mean, I am character-building. People who can't handle it don't deserve me at all. And no, I'm a creation even worse than Draco Malfoy. I'm not even a tenth as mean as I could be. This is Dominique Weasley, compassionate.
Louis.
ps. - well, he's a pansy, and he takes after you by being a pansy. Hope I stopped you feeling flattered.
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Post by Teddy Lupin on Apr 25, 2012 1:07:36 GMT -5
Louis,
I didn't mean it like that! I meant that it's your thought processes that make you a guy!
Should I feel safe if you're saying you're going to defend me? Besides, I don't need defending. Okay, it's a plan.
Am not!
Oh please, I am not a slut, let alone a double slut. Okay, I'll narrow it down further. It was a Weasley!
You're not building anybody's character but your own! Wow, what a way to look at the world! You're going to end up alone, Dom. I'm pretty sure, he's meaner, kid.
Lucy,
PS: I don't know, you're the one who's Louis in these letters. Doesn't that make you a pansy?
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Post by Dominique Weasley on Apr 25, 2012 12:05:53 GMT -5
Lucy,
I don't think like a guy, I think like a boss.
Er, yes? How many times have I beaten Victoire in a fight? She doesn't stand a chance - I just kick her shin. And oh my god, you so need defending. Poor ickle Teddy Weddy.
ARE TOO. YOU HO.
Oh, yeah! You're a triple slut. Thanks for reminding me. A WEASLEY?! The fuck? And a non-Victoire Weasley? Well, I hope it's one of my cousins because honestly if you're shagging one of my aunties that'd be weird. Or my mum! OH MY GOD. Say you're not doing my mum!
I totally build everyone else's character. I'm building your's, aren't I, ickle baby? And I totally amn't. Do you know how many people fall at my feet? I could snag up a boyfriend for this summer without even trying. I'd just have to click my fingers. And he totally isn't.
Louis.
ps. - keep up. I'm his alter ego.
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Post by Teddy Lupin on Apr 26, 2012 5:08:53 GMT -5
Louis,
Right, my bad, of course. But I didn't realize that thinking like a boss had emotional detachment as a prerequisite. Bosses are humans too, you know.
That's painful! Why would you do that?! I do not need defending, especially not from Vic.
NO.
How am I a triple slut? The double slut thing had a moderately accurate argument, but why triple? Yes, a non-Victoire Weasley, and ew, no I would not shag any of your aunts. They helped bring me up, that's weird! And yes, it is one of your cousins. Now sit and wonder because I'm not giving you more than that. And I would never do your mum, that's weird. I mean she's pretty, but no.
You aren't building my character, you're putting me down which is doing nothing for my self esteem. Okay, prove it. Get a boyfriend for the summer and show me, and I mean a real relationship, not just something you threaten somebody into for a few months.
Lucy.
PS: If you say so. I have a feeling that he's your alter ego.
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Post by Dominique Weasley on Apr 26, 2012 11:02:34 GMT -5
Lucy,
You can't be a boss if you have feelings. Honestly, Teddy, you should know that by now, you're an adult!
Er, to shut her up? What d'you suggest I do? Shin-kicking is the most effective way to silence someone.
YES.
You have now shagged two of my cousins. The latest was your birthday bonk. I'm sure you've shagged multiple others. You, my friend, are a triple slut. Wear the title with pride. Sit and wonder? I don't do that. I'm just going to assume it's Roxanne, then, if you're not going to tell me. I'll be sure to let Scorpius know. You homewrecker! was it Molly because you know what she's like or maybe it was Rose?
I AM BUILDING YOUR CHARACTER, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DEAL. And have you forgotten who you're talking to? I am Dominique Weasley. Relationships require feelings. I don't have feelings.
Louis.
ps. - the fuck?
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Post by Teddy Lupin on May 3, 2012 2:35:09 GMT -5
Louis,
You can! To be a good boss, you need to be able to understand what your employee is going through. Who wants to be a dictator when you can be a leader and Never mind.
How about avoid her and ignore her presence at all costs? That helps a bit. And will she like it if you take my side?
Of course I have, just because my name is all cuddly and fuzzy doesn't mean that I'm cuddly and fuzzy. Anyway, you can assume anything, but I'm pretty sure if things come down to it, I can convince Scorpius that it's a blatant lie because it is.
You are so not! Exactly, I know you don't have feelings which is why you're going to lose! You said you could snag a boyfriend and you can't!
Lucy
PS: it's true.
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Post by Dominique Weasley on May 5, 2012 17:21:45 GMT -5
Lucy,
I'm not taking your side. I'm evening out the playing field. Vic's my sister so I have to love her more and be more loyal to her etcetera, but I love you too because you're my sort of cousin feel deeply sorry for you in rare moments of empathy and I feel obliged to protect you.
Teddy, I'm basically ninety-nine point nine percent sure who it is by this stage because after thinking it through there's only one Weasley cousin other than Victoire that'd actually bang you and it's weird but I'm not even that surprised. At least, I don't think I'm that surprised. I don't think I can be surprised until you confirm it.
Of course I can. I can do anything.
Louis.
ps. - whatever.
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Post by Teddy Lupin on May 6, 2012 3:46:21 GMT -5
Dom (Louis says he finds it weird that I call you Louis)
I think I can manage, dear. It's not like we're actually gonna hang out and be all buddy-buddy. Just some civil conversation. We have run into each other multiple times you know, and no war has broken out.
I don't know what you mean but can we not talk about this. I'm getting enough anger from Roxanne to last a long time, and now even Louis is threatening to use you to find out what's going on.
Speaking of Louis, have you talked to him recently, without it being a taunting match?
Prove it.
Teddy
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