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Post by Dominique Weasley on Apr 17, 2012 12:27:46 GMT -5
Teddy,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BITCH. How's your day been? You won't believe it - I was in the Potter household the other day and went trawling through their old photos and I found quite a few baby pics of you! They're enclosed along with your present - I've got loads of copies, however, just in case you ever happened to lose them or anything. (:
I don't know what age you are but, god. You're practically an old man now. Seriously, I can see the wrinkles. And last time I saw you I'm sure I spotted some grey hair. How does it feel to be totally ancient?
I didn't know what to get you, but I thought the present I did get you was appropriate.
Enjoy today, it's the one day a year I'm ever nice to you!
Dom.
________
ooc. - the present she got him was a pair of boxers with a rhino on them saying "i'm horny". THESE ARE REAL BOXERS MY FRIEND HAS THEM. and yeah. xP
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Post by Teddy Lupin on Apr 17, 2012 12:43:22 GMT -5
Dom,
THANK YOU. BUT I'M NOT A BITCH SO NO. Rather nice, actually. Ollivander gave me this weird wand polish kit but I think he meant well. You found my baby pictures? Amusing. Don't forget that I've actually seen you as a baby and have more on you. Wow, I forgot what it was like to not control my hair color.
I'm twenty five! It's not difficult to remember! What are you, sixty? You realize that if there happened to be wrinkles, which there aren't, I could just wish them out of my appearance?!
Feels good though, I think.
If that's your definition of appropriate, I'm worried for this generation.
Should I count myself lucky. KIDDING! Thank you!
Teddy
ROFL
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Post by Dominique Weasley on Apr 17, 2012 16:13:52 GMT -5
Teddy,
YOU'RE MY BITCH. SO SUCK IT. Wand polish? Lovely. Really spiffing, that. They're actually hilarious - you had a really weird shaped head, did you know that? I mean, for someone who can change their appearance, you're quite funny looking. Your head's sort of like a square. Yeah, but I was an adorable little one-eighth Veela baby. You were the freak with blue hair.
Even if you wished them out, we'd all know you had them. Anyways, your soul is getting wrinkles. You're all wrinkly at the edges.
I wanted to get you a stripper but I didn't have enough time. I'm sure I could persuade Molly to stand in if you really wanted one though?
Welcome.
Dom.
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Post by Teddy Lupin on Apr 18, 2012 2:54:37 GMT -5
Dom,
I AM NOT. Suck what? Shut up. I thought it was a nice thought, okay. I did not have a weird shaped head, thank you very much. I think it was perfectly fine. No you're the crazy Weasley, remember? And Veela can be very terrifying when they're pissed. And that is turquoise, dear.
A soul can't get wrinkles! It's not at all dependent on the body - You're trying to be funny, aren't you?
A stripper? Where on earth would you find me one? Yes please No, that's okay.
Teddy
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Post by Dominique Weasley on Apr 18, 2012 12:06:10 GMT -5
Teddy,
Are too. God, you're such a little bitch. Oh yeah, lovely thought. Really cool. Bet you can't wait to get home and polish your wand. (: Pfft. That Insane Weasley shit is getting too fucking old, man. I am perfectly sane. And of course we are. We're sexy but we're not to be messed with. Veelas are obviously the perfect breed. Turquoise shmurquoise. Blue is blue.
What do you mean by trying? And no, I'm dead serious. You're so old you didn't even see the funny side of your horny boxers.
Like I said, I'm sure I could convince Molly. But obviously you find her too repulsive to see naked. I'll tell her that. (:
Dom.
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Post by Teddy Lupin on Apr 18, 2012 12:29:15 GMT -5
DOM,
Shut up. Oh don't be so mean. He's utterly senile, I bet that's the best he can do. And insane Weasley will never get old. Let me guess, you're a sane girl in an insane world? Sure.
Sexy? No comments on that, please. Turquoise isn't even completely blue. It's like, greenish blue.
Trying as in attempting and failing. Oh I got the joke it just wasn't all that funny. But I'll wear them anyway, because I love you so much, right?
I never said that! I did not! Who said she's repulsive? I mean not that I want to see her nake STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAD.
Tedddy Tedyd Teddy
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Post by Dominique Weasley on Apr 18, 2012 14:24:03 GMT -5
TEDDY [this is a fun game. Writing each other's names in capitals. You, my dear sir, are thrilling.]
Oh my god. I can't believe you just told me not to be mean. I'm a seventeen-year-old girl and I'm barely over five feet. And yep, pretty much - I'm the only fucking person in the world who's normal anymore and everyone should know it.
Are you saying I'm not sexy? So you're calling me ugly? Cheers.
You'd better wear them. Next time I see you I'll be sure to pull your jeans down to make sure. Don't think I won't. I did it when I was seven, I'll do it when I'm seventeen. The difference is I'm warning you this time. GOD I'M SO FUCKING MATURE.
Yes, yes you did. You said you didn't want to see Molly and you insinuated that she's not attractive at all. And you call me mean.
Dom.
ps. - stop scribbling all over your letters. It's very off-putting. Surely you know how to spell now that you're twenty-five?
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Post by Teddy Lupin on Apr 19, 2012 4:32:57 GMT -5
dom, (not really, I was trying to get your attention)
So what? Tiny people can be mean. Don't tell Lucy I said that! Or that I actually mentioned her name either! You are not normal, woman.
You want me to think of you as sexy? Okay, you're sexy? Just once you get used to the overall craziness and stuff. I remember when Vic and I were still dating and I used to come ove
What if I wear them one day and they go for a wash and I wear something else the next day? I can't wear the same boxers everyday because I have to be prepared to yank my pants down. Goodness, and I thought I'd be able to go through the rest of my life without the reminder. Do you know how embarrassing it is being a fifth year and getting your pants pulled down by your sort-of-cousin?! Even my hair turned red!
I did not. I think she's very nice looking!
Teddy.
PS: Oh shut up. I know how to spell.
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Post by Dominique Weasley on Apr 19, 2012 12:34:43 GMT -5
Tedders,
I resent being called tiny. I am SMALL. Not tiny. Tiny is for babies and those weird dogs that fit in the palm of your hand. Don't tell Lucy you said what? About tiny people? Are you calling her tiny?
I wasn't saying that you should perve on me, or anything, just the way you reacted to me calling myself sexy was quite insulting. Just so you know.
You could duplicate them! Or triplicate them. Is that possible? Whatever, you'd be able to prance about in your birthday boxers everyday and be fabulously horny all of the time. Who the fuck doesn't want a rhino on their underpants? And you were annoying me that day, I had to do something to show you that even though you were in fifth year you weren't the boss of me. And it worked! Ta-daaa!
Oooh. Nice-looking. Speaking of nice-looking lasses, did you get a birthday fuck this year by any stretch of the imagination or are you still forever alone?
Dom.
ps. - lies.
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Post by Teddy Lupin on Apr 20, 2012 6:15:12 GMT -5
Dominique,
What's the difference, really? And no, I didn't call her tiny, you just called her tiny. Shame, Dom, really. She's not going to like this.
I never said that you said that I should perve on you. I don't think of you as sexy, because really, you're like a kid sister to me and then why would I think of you as sexy? But you're pretty?.
Now why would I want to do that? Then they wouldn't be one of a kind and it'll be kind of pointless because I could easily lose the original one and I'd be thinking 'oh who cares, really, because it's not like the original gift matters i'll just find that other pair and duplicate it'. You don't really want that do you?
As a matter of fact I did. But no way in hell am I telling you who it was.
Teddy
PS: No you're a liar!
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Post by Dominique Weasley on Apr 20, 2012 11:09:45 GMT -5
Tedders,
Tiny is smaller than small. Fact. And yeah, she's pretty small - what, d'you think I can't handle Lucy? Pfft.
Damn it, Janet, I know what you meant! Chillax. I'm your ex-girlfriend's sister not to mention your almost cousin, la la la. And you're quite pretty too, Teddy, except for your unfortunate square-shaped head. (:
Dude. Just fucking duplicate them. That's your problem, Teddy my darling, you overthink things way too bloody much. To the point of sheer and utter ridiculousness. But if you're really that fussy, I'll go out and BUY you four other pairs. Yeah?
No names? Well, I hope you had a good time having sex with that imaginary girl.
Dom.
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Post by Teddy Lupin on Apr 20, 2012 11:32:35 GMT -5
Dom,
You're on your own with that one. Lucy can be pretty scary. And from what Lily tells me, apparently she isn't in a very good mood and hasn't even been hanging around her girlfriend either. Did they split up or something?
Who's Janet? I'm not pretty. Ew, that's such a girly word to use.
No, fine, I'll replicate them okay? I don't even know where you found them. I find the joke a bit immature.
Oh, I have a name, but if I tell you, you'll freak out, so no, not telling you that one.
Teddy
PS: Did you know Ella Malfoy wrote me for my birthday? How unexpected. It was nice though. Hmm.
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Post by Dominique Weasley on Apr 20, 2012 12:19:43 GMT -5
Lucy,
I don't know. I don't care about other people's love lives. They're all so dramatic and flouncy and eh. Anyways, Lucy's never in a good mood. So it's not much of a change, is it?
PRETTY. You're so pretty, Teddy. So pretty and adorable and delicate.
Your face is immature, you prude.
Psh. You just want me to think that, don't you? I know full well you were sitting at home alone eating chocolate and watching porn wishing you had a real love life. It's okay, though, Teddy. I'm still here for you!
Dom.
ps. - oh my god, I hate her brother so much. Scorpius. Scorpius Malfoy. Have you met him? He is so smarmy it makes my face hurt.
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Post by Teddy Lupin on Apr 20, 2012 12:28:34 GMT -5
Dom,
But what if Lucy's, like, seriously hurt or something?
I'm going to ignore you. You're such a bully.
Shut up, pervert.
I see what you're doing there and it's not going to work. Because I'm not sure anybody's supposed to know, really, so yeah, I'm not going to get tricked into telling. And I don't watch porn, regardless. Please, I am attractive you know.
Of course I've met him. Idiot, they're my cousins! It's like you have no memory. I grew up around them, remember, when their grandmum took care of me?
TEDDY NOT LUCY WTF DOM
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Post by Dominique Weasley on Apr 20, 2012 12:35:53 GMT -5
LUCY [I've renamed you Lucy, please do keep up]
She's probably not. She's Lucy.
PRETTY. You feel prettyyyyyy. Oh so prettyyyyyyyyy. Prettyyyyy and wittyyyyy and gaaaaayyyyyy.
Prude. Prudey prude. Prudey horny prude. Prudey pretty prudey horny prudey prudey prude.
HA. Now I know that you're lying. And you're marginally attractive. Marginally.
Sorry, forgot you had real cousins other than the Weasley bunch. ANYWAYS. ISN'T HE SUCH A SMARMY MOTHERFUCKER? I just want to punch him every time I see him.
Dominiqqqquuuuuue.
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