Luce,

[Marko Dashwood]

((OoC: I'm going to set this after the EllaMarko thread too, because otherwise yours and Hanna's letters will trip me out! xL))

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Hey, Luce,

Before you ask, I am not ignoring you though will you and Ella please hurry the fuck up and make up because this is killing me.

But I still haven't seen you recently, and yeah, HAVE YOU TALKED TO ABBY HAVE YOU HAVE YOU I AM A BOY I DON'T NOTICE IMPORTANT THINGS and I was wondering what's up?

Okay, I admit, I'm not the best at letters, but I do miss you and now i sound sappy and pleasesaythatyou'vetalkedtoAbby has anything new happened?

Love,
Marko

P.S. If you see my sister, can you tell her she's way being way too mean

[Lucy Weasley]

((OoC: Lol, okie dokes! :))

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Marko,

I haven't seen anybody in ages so I'm guessing that they're all trying to stay out of the Lucy/Ella fight. Which may be getting fixed a bit. I don't know.

Nothing's up, I guess. Abby and I might have kissed stopped being awkward around each other. I'm trying to complain about shit as much but that's probably never going to fucking happen. I had a massive fight with my mum and now we're trying to make amends?

You're pretty shit at letters, actually. You scribbled out half the shit you wrote. How am I supposed to read it now? If you miss me so much then come and get your arse over to the Slytherin commons. So... have you told Ella you like her yet?

Love,
Lucy

[Marko Dashwood]

Lucy,

Er, yeah, most likely. or some of them are scared of you 'It may be getting fixed'? Are you guys talking with first names again and no insults about one another's resemblance to farmyard animals or something?

Yeah, about that... what's happening with you and Abby? By 'stopped being awkward' do you mean you talked? Uh, good luck with not complaining. I'm sure you can do it anyway. Do you want to make amends, or is this a totally parental-driven project?

Yeah, I know. Well, I didn't know if I wanted to say it! I don't know, laser eyes? Ugh, but my sister's there. I don't like her very much right now. How the fuck am I meant to get in, anyway, mug some random Slytherin and make him give me the password?
Um. Kind of.

Love,
Marko

[Lucy Weasley]

Marko,

Yeah, maybe. We're talking tomorrow after classes. We're probably not going to be best friends or whatever straight away but we're trying to work through our shit. Did you know she's hanging out with Beckett and Lena the Hufflepuff though?

Er, yeah, we talked and kissed stuff. In the Hogs Head. Why does everybody sound so skeptical when I say that? Is it that hard to believe? Well, yeah, I do. I've been fighting her for so long... I just can't do it any more. It's too exhausting.

Well, don't write it if you didn't know, idiot! Your sister isn't that bad... and she probably won't even be there. I'll give you the password? And what do you mean, "Um. Kind of." How can you kind of tell somebody you like them?

Love,
Lucy

[Marko Dashwood]

Lucy,

Well, yay. Fucking yaldi. Don't ask me what that means, by the way, I just know my crazy Scottish neighbour says it when she's happy - most likely murdered an innocent. 'Lena the Hufflepuff'? Since when have we had another Lena in our year? Uh, I saw her talking to Shelly, yeah, didn't know about Lena.

So what's happening with you and Abby now? are you together yet areyouareyouareyou fuck dianna grey Are you guys together and I've totally missed something, or what's up? I'm not skeptical! I'm wishing you good luck, Godric. Well, that's good. It sounds like it'd be good for you.

I thought I knew but I changed my mind! She's being meaner than normal, okay? I don't know what's wrong with her. Yeah, okay, I'll come over then. Now? Um. I didn't really tell her, that's the thing. Look, it's weird to explain. I don't even know. I don't think I expressly said that I liked her, though I doubt there's any confusion as to whether or not I do.

Love,
Marko

[Lucy Weasley]

Marko,

Oh, probably. Fucking yaldi probably means something like, 'Oh, fucking yaldi! I've finally succeeded in poisoning everybody so now I'm going to rule the world. Mwahahahaha.' Lena the Hufflepuff, yeah. I don't like referring to her as just Lena. It feels like I'm actually being nice to a Hufflepuff which I'm against in principal. Also, I'm not quite sure how to either pronounce or write her last name so. Fucking Beckett. What a stupid slag

Uh, well, we kissed. Then I said we could go on a date after the holidays. I think we are. I don't know. I just want to tell my mum first that I like Abby - or maybe girls. I don't know. Abby said not to put a label on it so I'm not. You are totally skeptical. I can read sarcasm even via notes.

Write a draft note first or whatever! You're such a wuss, being scared of like a first year or something. She's not that scary. I thought Gryffindors went meant to be brave or some shit? And yeah, now. Our password is gillyweed and if I find out you've shared it with any of your little Gryffindor mates, you'll be less an important anatomical part in the morning.

How's it weird to explain? Just tell me what went down. It's not that hard... and she's smart, I guess, so she's figured it out even if you said it indirectly.

Love,
Lucy

P.S. Can we stop writing 'love' at the end of our letters? I feel like I'm participating in your girly tendencies.

[Marko Dashwood]

Lucy,

I wouldn't put it past her. She's actually really creepy. She's always smiling at people, and it looks like she's just watering her garden from the street, but from my room, I can see to her side of the fence and she's normally smiling and twisting the hose with her hands. It's weird. Lena's not bad - she's actually pretty cool. You really hate Shelly. More than Gemma?

Well, congratulations, Luce. I don't think it matters that Abby's a girl, Lucy. Just tell your Mum that you've found someone you really like, who likes you back and that it's Abby Longbottom. I agree with Abs, there's no point in labeling it. Just accept it as it is - something with someone that makes you happy. That's all that matters, right? Shut up, I'm not skeptical. I'm not even being sarcastic! When am I ever sarcastic, except stressful situations or being surrounded by you, Ella and Abby?

What? Why would I write a draft note to my friend? I'm not applying for a bloody job. She's a third year, thank you very much. Ugh, you sound like her. Or she sounds like you. I'm not sure. All I know is she's being kind of a bitch - and she's my little sister and I don't want to say that but it's true - and keeps deciding that I'm stupid and not a Gryffindor. I don't know what's going through her head. I'm coming, and of course not. Why would I tell them? I'm fond of all my body parts, thank you very much. 

It's just weird to explain. Ugh, she'll probably tell you anyway if you guys are going to talk. Or she might not. I don't know. I'm not sure if it's the kind of thing you actually tell people. I guess you could say I told her indirectly… very indirectly. 

Poisonous snakes send their regards,
Marko

P. S. Is that better?

[Lucy Weasley]

Lucy,

So, yes. Naturally if somebody's smiling then they're automatically planning on taking over the world. I'm going to write that in my plans to dominate the world. She's still a Hufflepuff, even if she drinks vodka. She's not one of those really happy people, right? I can't stand them. And yes, I really bhate Shelly. She's a dim-witted slag. I'd actually say that, yes, I hate her more than Caryn. Why do you always refer to people by their first name? It's weird.

Thanks, I guess? My mum's not homophobic - at least not as far as I know - so she probably won't care. Chances are that she fights cases for people who have same-sex partners, right? And I am accepting it as it is - she's somebody who makes me happy so I'm somewhat happy. Happier than usual. Actually, I'm ridiculously happy You're being sarcastic right now, right? You're constantly sarcastic.

Okay, good point, and still, she's a third year. If you hung around third year Ella, Abby and myself, I'm sure you can handle your little sister. I don't sound like a little girl and besides, she's got a point. Man up, okay? You could tell them for a lot of reasons. Come on, Dashwood, think like a Ravenclaw.

You can't just tell me shit like that and not explain! It's not like I said to you, "Oh, I kind of had an incident with Abby last week because of certain circumstances. Kind of.[/s] It's hard to explain." How indirectly? Did you kiss her or some shit?

- Lucy

P.S. That's not what guys say. That's not even what Slytherins say. What is wrong with you?

[Marko Dashwood]

Marko,

It sounded far more plausible in my head - though smiling people can be really creepy. It's probably a good thing to do. 
'Make minion take over Russia. Smile creepily. Steal the Minister of Magic's tie. Smile more.'
Nah, not as far as I know. She's not like Alice or anything. She's just Lena. "dim-witted slag"? She's a Ravenclaw, you realise? Wow. Major hate vibes. Did she ever, y'know actually do something to you that's somehow slipped my mind throughout the years, or do you just hate her? I don't know. It's polite? I've always called people by their first names. Some of them have siblings, anyway, and I'd get confused if I started shouting WEASLEY at you and your cousin Fred turned around. 

Are you going to start hugging people now, or are you not that happy yet? Just please never hug McLaggen - ha! There's a surname for you! - or I may actually be seriously concerned. I'm not being sarcastic! Granted, I'm more sarcastic than pretty much any Gryffindor or Hufflepuff in our year, but I'm also the only one that constantly hangs out with Slytherins, so that's to be expected. 

I'm good like that, and I know, but it's my sister. I could stop talking to you lot for a few weeks - and risk loss of limbs - if I really wanted to, but if she thought I was avoiding her, she'd tell Dad who'd tell me off for being a bad brother and it'd all go to shit. Besides, she's being way meaner than normal and I don't want to ask if something's up because she'll probably treat me to an in-depth lecture about the horrors of PMS-ing in a dungeon. And please don't get any ideas from that. Fine, consider me 'manning up'. Why would I want to think like a Ravenclaw? You don't like two of them, and no offense to Dursley, but he doesn't always think things through. But yeah, I see why I might give it to people - if all my best friends weren't Slytherins, of course. 

I don't know how! I'm not exactly a wordsmith, am I? Just… ugh, I'll try explain when I see you, all right? I swear, Ella'd be better at explaining this. Uh, yeah, I did kiss her. 

- Marko

P.S. I'm sorry! I don't know, I had a bit of a blank on what was a suitable sign off. 

[Lucy Weasley]

Marko,

I think it'll freak out people if I smile at them, don't you?

Ew. Don't remind me of the other Longbottom... oh, shit. Okay, so, the other Longbottom. What do you think she's going to do when she finds out about Abby and I? And yes, dim-witted slag. Just because somebody's a Ravenclaw doesn't make them automatically intelligent. She's ditzy and air-headed. Nothing like Lily who's the epitome of Ravenclaw. She pisses me off because she breathes, she's not as innocent as everybody thinks she is - in fact, she's probably more vicious than myself - and not to mention the fact that she's an attention whore. So yeah, I hate her.

If they have siblings than just make up a witty nickname like... I don't know... 'Insane Weasley!' or 'Neurotic Weasley!' or 'Slutty Weasley!'

I'm never going to hug anybody, especially McSlaggen - that's my new nickname for him, by the way. Start using it. It'll catch on. It's pretty weird, actually, you hanging with us Slytherin girls. I'm beginning to question your sanity.

Then tell your Mum that your sister is some kind of insane sort of little girl? That'll solve the problem... is she even old enough to be PMSing? Maybe I might consider telling Dursley all about my werewolf time next time he pisses me off... and shut up. I respect Ravenclaws if they're not sluts. Besides, I like Lily and Dursley and Wood's pretty decent as well... that's three, not counting the other years.

No, you're not. You're really shit at this whole letter thing. Okay, explain! In depth. AND YOU KISSED HER?! What? When did you grow balls?

- Lucy

P.S. Just do a cool hyphen to sign off with, yeah?

[Marko Dashwood]

Lucy,

Yeah, it'd be brilliant!

Does it really matter? You don't give a fuck what she thinks, Abby either doesn't or does a damn good job of pretending she doesn't give a fuck about what Alice thinks, so it's irrelevant to you. She might try 'fix' you guys, find you a 'nice boyfriend', but she's harmless. Could just as easily be happy for Abby. Then again, she doesn't like you. Just ignore her, Luce. 
Nobody's like Lily, Luce, she's one of a kind. In a good way! I like Lily. She's lovely. 
Oh, okay. I'm glad you have some reasoning. Have you told Ella this before, or do you guys just not give a fuck about each others' friends anymore?

Oh, brilliant. Which relative do you nominate to be nicknamed 'Slutty Weasley'? Didn't people use to call Roxanne the Neurotic Weasley?

You'll hug someone. Don't make a promise like that, you won't be able to keep it. Though I have no doubt that you could quite happily refrain from hugging him for the rest of your life. McSlaggen? Attractive. Okay, sure. Why not? Why is it weird? Someone's got to do it, and probably someone who won't add to any bitchfights, right? Besides, I like you guys. And I'm sane!

Mum's in family law, she's not meant to take sides. Anyway, Mum really loves Dad. She stands up for me, but she really loves him and doesn't like fighting with him, and fuck it if Becky and I are going to make them fight. Though Becky is an insane little girl. I don't know! I haven't exactly got much experience with the logistics of PMS-ing. 
 You should. That's a fantastic plan. It'll let you know if he's male enough to run away, too. Most guys don't like the idea of menstruation, to be honest. WHY ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS. I like Ravenclaws too. 

I'm sorry! I just have no fucking clue how to explain. Okay, okay, I will! 
Yeah, I did! Merlin, thanks for that. I've always had- okay, not even going to touch that subject. I just… it felt right, to kiss her. 

- Marko

P.S. Got it. 

[Lucy Weasley]

Marko,

Okay, so it's irrelevant to me then. If I'm ever intimidated by her - which is a weird though so ew - don't let me be. Inspire my Lucy Fucking Weasley persona and get me to fight back. Also, just so you know, her finding me a nice boyfriend is ridiculous. I have rubbish luck with guys.

Lily is lovely. I think she's a bit scared of me, but lovely.

If she can hate Dursley, I can hate Beckett. Simple as that. If I'm willing to give a fuck about Lena the Hufflepuff - who's a Hufflepuff need I remind you, I'm entitled to hate at least one of her new friends.

I don't know, actually. Not Hugo, or Louis - should I start calling him Hungry Hippo Louis or does that just sound weird? Fred isn't too much of a slut, Al is already Al the Cannibal. I still call Roxanne the Neurotic Weasley in my head. Dominique is clearly Insane Weasley. I'm Angry Weasley. I like Rose too much to call her a slut. Oh! Slutty Weasley can be Molly!

Okay, I'll hug somebody I like eventually. One day. Just not any time soon. And yes, McSlaggen. It's funny, right? Just like Danni Ovaries. It's weird because you're a guy and we're bitchy girls... actually, you could probably pass as a bitchy girl if you wanted to.

Okay, so... just pretend like you don't care what Becky's saying? That usually works besides bodily harm... okay, I'm going to talk to him about my period then. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO BROUGHT IT UP. Also, Ravenclaw is probably the second best house next to Slytherin. Well, it would be if you decided to just murder all the morons there. Like Beckett

You're not going to touch what subject? The subject of your balls? I suspect you touch that subject quite often. (BURN.) Felt right? Did you at least do it good?

- Lucy

[Marko Dashwood]

Luce,

I'm not sure if I should be condoning you fighting her physically, but what the fuck. Sure. Lucy Fucking Weasley when intimidated by the Gryffindor Longbottom. Got it. (That would be weird, I agree.)
Do you really think any self-proclamations of shitty luck with guys would keep Alice-the-Nun away? 

I think most people are a bit scared of you, Lucy. 

Yeah, okay. Yes, yes, I know Le's a Hufflepuff, she's been in our year for the past four years. 
I'm pretty sure that they've been friends for a while now but Just don't hate me, and it's all good. 


It sounds like it'd suit Hugo better, but I like Hugo. It doesn't sound that weird.
Merlin forbid Fred be a slut or Al be anything but a cannibal. You still call Rox- charming. I agree with Domimique's one, and yours. Rose is really nice, one of the better prefects. 
… Molly's a slut? I thought she was like, married to her ego and beating Nott at everything. Whatever. Molly = Slutty Weasley. Got it. 


This is called progress in most countries! Congratulations! Yeah, it's hilarious. Oh, heck, I remember that. Does her sister still hate you? I'm not a bitchy girl! I'm very masculine. 

Got it. That's my new plan. Oh, yes, you should! SHUT UP, I AM SUPRESSING THESE MEMORIES. What does that make me, the last resort? Or is this just in regards to the house, and not people? Or do I get to be special? Such high standards. 

Oh my Godric. Lucy. Really? I don't- ugh. Okay, dropping the subject now. (LALALA I'M NOT LISTENING.)
I don't know! Ask her! She seemed to like it. 

- Marko