Post by albus on Oct 6, 2011 7:11:11 GMT -5
,,you've got the world at your feet ;; success has been so easy for you
but don't forget it's me who put you where you are now ;; and I can put you back down too ``
but don't forget it's me who put you where you are now ;; and I can put you back down too ``
JOURNAL --
Clearly, this isn't a Quidditch encyclopedia - so if you are anyone other than myself, I suggest you back away very quickly, because if I find that you have read this, I will not hesitate to dangle you upside down from a tree near the lake so the Giant Squid can eat you, piece by tiny piece.
Moving on.
Zabini's been even worse this year. I didn't think it could get any worse, but somehow it has. Really. Over the summer, she locked Cassandra Lewis and I in my bedroom, and I had to resort to revealing my secret selection of lockpicks so she could leave already, while being forced to listen to her incessant prattling about her hair and her name. I don't know what she's complaining about - Harry has to be either entirely stupid, or an utter sadist, to give his son the name 'Albus Severus'. Fortunately, I’m the kind of person who can pull off a name like that – but imagine if I was someone like Hugo? He’d be laughed at the moment he spoke. Of course, ‘Hugo’ isn’t much better, but at least his middle name is normal.
What was I saying? Oh, right, Zabini. And then we played a game of Quidditch – at my house, might I add – and she accused me of cheating! I mean, really, what kind of gratitude is that? Admittedly, I did use a few strategies to make her believe I was hurt, so she would stop playing, but she’s never trusted me before, so why would she start then? She should have known I would try something; it’s practically part of Quidditch.
Every time I see her – which is quite often, actually, which makes me suspect she’s stalking me ¬– she automatically assumes I’m being sarcastic or rude. Of course, much of the time I am, because it’s simply too entertaining to rile her up. She seems to have very little control over her emotions, which makes it all the more amusing.
I also saw Phoebe over the holidays, and messed with her a bit, which was reasonably enjoyable as well, at least until she got us both trapped in one of those
Harry accompanied me to the Ballycastle game, and I had to restrain myself from ditching and sitting elsewhere in the stands. We held a ten minute conversation about Omnioculars, for Salazar’s sake. If that doesn’t say desperation on his part, I don’t know what does. At least I was able to see a Quidditch game, since Mum was too busy working to go. What was she working on, anyway? She’s a sports commentator – watching Quidditch is in her job description! But I did get to avoid James for the day, and his annoying girlfriend.
Scorpius is being a prat, as usual. Not only did he scheme to steal Quidditch Captain from me, but now he’s barely bothered showing up to practice. If you’re going to get such an important decision, you need to actually fulfil the requirements of that position. Prick. And then he’s gone and hurt Roxanne, somehow, so I’ll need to get some sort of revenge on him. I should probably find out what exactly he did to her first, so I can make it hurt more. There’s six boys in our dorm, and yet five of them are either prats, imbeciles, or completely nutters. Merlin, I need a drink. Preferably two.
And besides all these tragedies that are the people that interfere with my life, I have to buy a new shirt, because some midget of a Hufflepuff smashed an ice-cream cone into it, and I can’t get the stains out. Clearly, magic is completely useless, and I’m tempted to give the midget one of those punching telescopes. I might give one to Neil, as well, to keep him in the hospital wing a bit longer after his injury. I’m sure everyone would appreciate a bit less idiocy wandering around the castle.
Things That Need To Be Done (preferably by someone else):
- Put Firewhiskey in Zabini’s pumpkin juice [actually, I’ll do this one, because it’s more entertaining to see the expression on her face.] NOTE: Ask Ria whether she has any alcohol from the 20th century. That stuff is so much stronger, and it tastes like two disgusting goats fornicated in it.
- Punch Scorpius in the face [definitely doing this one – wait, no, I might get James to do it for me. He punches harder. I’m pretty sure I’ve still got some blackmail on his from his girlfriend before Cassandra.]
- Buy a new shirt [Hugo can do this – I’ll tell him it’s a birthday present for someone, and he’ll trot off like a pet fawn. If fawns could buy things.]
- Get another supply of hangover cures from the apothecary [Yeah, Hugo can do this one too.]
- Talk to Roxanne
- Find an excuse as to why I didn’t send Aunt Hermione anything for her birthday [as much as I admire her – despite her terrible taste in husbands – I can’t possibly be expected to remember every person in my family’s birthdays. I have better things to do with my time.]
- Continue avoiding James [except for when I need him to hurt Scorpius]
- Make sure every person possible sees that poster about Sebastian [his hair looks terrible in the picture – he’s been moaning about it for a week.]
Excellent.
-- ALBUS