every little thing he does is magic

[Christopher De Luca]

OH OH OH, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW
that you were oh-oh-over me ?!

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THIRTEENTH OF JULY, 2022;

so, i've never exactly had a diary before so this is new. i guess i'll start by telling you a little bit about myself? though i suppose you're kind of supposed to know everything about me since you're technically ramblings from my mind?
anyway. my name is christopher adrián hanafiah, but you can call me chris. not that you speak but if you did, i wouldn't want you to call me that. it sounds really long when you say it out loud. there's ten syllables in my name. that's a pretty long name. chris is just one syllable. it's easier. just so you know.
i'm fifteen years old and i'm born the day before valentine's day which is good, i guess. i'm pretty spanish but i live in england and haven't actually went to spain in my life. ever. i can't speak a word of the language.
uhm, i'm pansexual which means that i'm into people. pan means all. i don't really care about gender.
i'm currently dating this wonderful guy called josé agapito jorge diego luis rodríguez (fifteen syllables) but everyone calls him jojo. he says everyone calls him that because nobody besides the spanish people of hogwarts can say josé right.
but at the moment, nobody really knows that our relationship exists and that's why i've decided to write in a diary. so i can tell at least somebody - or something, at least.
i'm planning on telling louis soon and probably emily after that. i feel so guilty about hiding this from them but i've heard horror stories of dudes telling their friends they're dating another guy and their friends just abandoning them. i don't reckon they will, but it's still really scary.
i have to tell my parents soon and i'm not sure how they'll react.
jojo says that his parents won't accept his sister for who she is which is bi and keep forcing her to go out on dates with guys. i have to meet her soon and by the sounds of who, she's scary as hell.
i guess that's all for now. i'm going to a big spanish fiesta soon, so i'll write all about that when i get back! who knows? something interesting might happen!

- CHRIS

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i didn't make this, LAURIE?! of CAUTION 2.0

[/color] did. mmkay? <3
banner credit goes to TILLIE TILLIE BUM BUM of CAUTION 2.0[/color][/color][/size][/center]

[Christopher De Luca]

OH OH OH, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW
that you were oh-oh-over me ?!

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FIRST OF DECEMBER, 2022;

so, i guess this is my second official diary entry, huh? i don't know why emily gave me the diary. i suppose she thought it'd help me express my feelings... that i don't really have. not that i'm a robot, i have plenty of feelings, but it's like i experience them at the time and i can't be arsed to write them down later.
anyways, uh. i thought tonight would be a good time to right another entry since it was a pretty damn awesome day which sounds kind of weird when i get to what i actually ended up doing but oh well.
so here it is: jojo gave me head and was about to give it to me a second time when his sister's boyfriend burst in on us... then his actual sister. that kind of sucked (hahahaha, no pun intended) but then all was well because i returned the favour, if you know what i mean. not the bursting in bit though, the first bit. the, uh, head bit. now that i think about it, that's a really weird way to phrase it.
i mean, i think 'gave me mouth' would be a more accurate term because if people had never heard the phrase 'gave me head' before then that would be really confusing. they'd be all like, 'uh, he gave you a head? what?' and i'd have to be all, 'uh, no, man. he gave me... woohoo.'
and... that's my cue to leave. somebody's coming into the room. so bye, i guess. write you in another five months!

- CHRIS

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i didn't make this, LAURIE?! of CAUTION 2.0

[/color] did. mmkay? <3
banner credit goes to TILLIE TILLIE BUM BUM of CAUTION 2.0[/color][/color][/size][/center]

[Christopher De Luca]

OH OH OH, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW
that you were oh-oh-over me ?!

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TWENTIETH OF DECEMBER, 2022;

diary entry number three and things have changed... drastically. i broke it off with jojo. for christmas, at least. i asked dad if it'd be alright if i took a guy to our christmas party. he said no because guys are meant to take girls, not other guys. plus, grandma would probably go ballistic because she wouldn't be alright with it if i took another guy to the christmas party. i don't think she would, at least...
i'm not ready to come out anyway. things just... it doesn't feel right. it feels like everything's gone too quickly. i mean, shit, jojo wants to get engaged or something and i'm not ready. i'm fifteen, not twenty-five. maybe when i'm of age but not now. don't get me wrong, i love him, it's just that i love my family too much to just let them disown me.
the timing was probably terrible though. it was on the train, leaving hogwarts. and he was crying and i had to actually pull myself away from him. i couldn't meet his eyes... it was freaking horrible.
for some reason, now we're taking a break, it feels as though a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. i don't know why. but is it wrong that i feel that way?

- CHRIS

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i didn't make this, LAURIE?! of CAUTION 2.0

[/color] did. mmkay? <3
banner credit goes to TILLIE TILLIE BUM BUM of CAUTION 2.0[/color][/color][/size][/center]

[Christopher De Luca]

Dec 22, 2011 0:16:05 GMT -5 Christopher De Luca said:

OH OH OH, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW
that you were oh-oh-over me ?!

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TWENTY-THIRD OF DECEMBER, 2022;

grandma's dying. she has one or two months left before her heart gives out and there's nothing they can do and i don't understand why they can't save her. she's strong. she's strong and healthy and only 78 years old. what's the point of having healers if they can't do anything?

- CHRIS

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i didn't make this, LAURIE?! of CAUTION 2.0

[/color] did. mmkay? <3
banner credit goes to TILLIE TILLIE BUM BUM of CAUTION 2.0[/color][/color][/size][/center][/quote]

[Christopher De Luca]

OH OH OH, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW
that you were oh-oh-over me ?!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THIRTEENTH OF FEBRUARY, 2022;

grandma's passed. merlin, i hate that word. it's too casual, like her life meant nothing. i came out to her before she died and she told me she was proud of me but i think she just said that because she didn't want the last words she said to be to be full of hate... especially since it was my birthday and how horrible is that? she died on my birthday. fuck.
oh, and then jojo's went and sent me at lunch when i finally came back to hogwarts after i said my final goodbyes. he says he loves me and i believe him but he also said that i turned him from a 'secret into a lie' which isn't true. i said that i was sick of living a lie and i was too scared to come out and tell the truth, that i was dating another guy. also, apparently i made him feel 'alienated and freakish' which i don't understand at all because i didn't break it off because of him - well, not really. i broke it off because i thought he deserved somebody who treated him the way he deserves to be treated. who would proudly proclaim to the rest of the world that he's dating jojo rodriguez who's as brilliant as they come. i couldn't give that to him.
i wasn't ashamed of him. i wasn't afraid of being ridiculed. i was afraid of my family forcing me to make a choice between him and them and making him love me a little bit longer until i decided to choose my family. because no matter what, family always comes first. he would choose his sisters over me. i know this for a fact.
but fuck, getting this letter... it makes this day even more terrible than it already is. he couldn't even think of a better day to send it. awesome, just awesome.

- CHRIS

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i didn't make this, LAURIE?! of CAUTION 2.0

[/color] did. mmkay? <3
banner credit goes to TILLIE TILLIE BUM BUM of CAUTION 2.0[/color][/color][/size][/center]