Post by Lachlan Creevey on May 28, 2011 18:57:24 GMT -5
Journal, [Is that what I’m supposed to call this notebook of bound-up paper with lines on it meant for me to divulge my thoughts? I really couldn’t care less at this point, because I just need someplace to get out my thoughts quickly, so I guess that’s the name I’ll go with for now.]
Everything’s going crazy at the moment, but I’m honestly running out of fucks to give. I’ve been trying so hard to fix everything that I’ve made wrong but no one really seems to care, anyways, so what’s the point? I might as well drink myself into oblivion, even though that’s not helping, either.
I might just make a list, that’s the easiest way to get this all out:
1.) Roxanne - my Roxanne, Roxanne Weasley - has got a boyfriend now.
2.) … his name is Scorpius Malfoy.
3.) What the actual fuck? Why? Just why?
4.) So I fought with her, which, looking back, was a horrible idea, except she still doesn’t know why I’m so upset with her, and it’s going to stay that way.
5.) Ella’s pissed at me for some imaginary reason that I still haven’t gotten to the bottom of. I don’t even know what to do with her anymore. She thinks I don’t care about her. I have no idea what I can do to prove that I do care.
6.) Before Roxanne and I had a shouting match, she brought up the idea that Ella might be off in la-la land because of a boy. Bloody hell, she’s only fourteen. She’s not allowed to have boys interested in her. I’ll fucking castrate this imaginary boy that fancies her/she fancies if I ever find out who it is.
7.) My mother’s pregnant. I still don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about that. I don’t know how to feel about anything.
8.) I haven’t spoken to my father in quite a while, but apparently he’s healthier now. Maybe he’ll have something to look forward to with a new son or daughter on the way. [Wait, does he actually know? Shit, I bet mother hasn’t told him yet...]
9.) I had a major fall-out with Cassie because she thinks I fancy Roxanne, which is obviously a delusional thought in itself.I miss her and wish we hadn’t yelled at each other just because I didn’t want to admit to something that she already knows is true - She needs to get her shit straight.
10.) Scorpius Malfoy is a complete bastard. I hate him and his guts and his false arrogance and the fact that he feels it’s alright to threaten me with the back-up that he comes from a family of Death Eaters andhe has Roxanne I swear I’m going to punch his sorry face off if I ever run into him again. Refer to #1, #2, and #3.
11.) I’ve been drinking unhealthy amounts of Firewhisky in my dormitory all by myself more often lately. [Why? Refer to #1 - #10.] That sounds so desperate. I don’t even know what to do anymore. There’s nothing else I can do to make myself feel better. To be honest, getting drunk almost makes me feel worse, but I’m not going to stop unless someone cares enough to stop me.
12.) I hooked up with Aquarius Flint once again, but this time it wasn’t because I actually wanted to.Well, I sort of did. But it was more like an outlet for me to try to get rid of all the pain I’m feeling because I’m in love with a girl who I can never have of aforementioned stuff. It didn’t work. Refer to #11.
The list could go on forever, but like I said, I’m starting to really not give a fuck about anything other than the twelve things listed above anymore. Twelve things are more than enough to sort out as it is.
Until next time,
Lachlan
Everything’s going crazy at the moment, but I’m honestly running out of fucks to give. I’ve been trying so hard to fix everything that I’ve made wrong but no one really seems to care, anyways, so what’s the point? I might as well drink myself into oblivion, even though that’s not helping, either.
I might just make a list, that’s the easiest way to get this all out:
1.) Roxanne - my Roxanne, Roxanne Weasley - has got a boyfriend now.
2.) … his name is Scorpius Malfoy.
3.) What the actual fuck? Why? Just why?
4.) So I fought with her, which, looking back, was a horrible idea, except she still doesn’t know why I’m so upset with her, and it’s going to stay that way.
5.) Ella’s pissed at me for some imaginary reason that I still haven’t gotten to the bottom of. I don’t even know what to do with her anymore. She thinks I don’t care about her. I have no idea what I can do to prove that I do care.
6.) Before Roxanne and I had a shouting match, she brought up the idea that Ella might be off in la-la land because of a boy. Bloody hell, she’s only fourteen. She’s not allowed to have boys interested in her. I’ll fucking castrate this imaginary boy that fancies her/she fancies if I ever find out who it is.
7.) My mother’s pregnant. I still don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about that. I don’t know how to feel about anything.
8.) I haven’t spoken to my father in quite a while, but apparently he’s healthier now. Maybe he’ll have something to look forward to with a new son or daughter on the way. [Wait, does he actually know? Shit, I bet mother hasn’t told him yet...]
9.) I had a major fall-out with Cassie because she thinks I fancy Roxanne, which is obviously a delusional thought in itself.
10.) Scorpius Malfoy is a complete bastard. I hate him and his guts and his false arrogance and the fact that he feels it’s alright to threaten me with the back-up that he comes from a family of Death Eaters and
11.) I’ve been drinking unhealthy amounts of Firewhisky in my dormitory all by myself more often lately. [Why? Refer to #1 - #10.] That sounds so desperate. I don’t even know what to do anymore. There’s nothing else I can do to make myself feel better. To be honest, getting drunk almost makes me feel worse, but I’m not going to stop unless someone cares enough to stop me.
12.) I hooked up with Aquarius Flint once again, but this time it wasn’t because I actually wanted to.
The list could go on forever, but like I said, I’m starting to really not give a fuck about anything other than the twelve things listed above anymore. Twelve things are more than enough to sort out as it is.
Until next time,
Lachlan
