Hey, Rose,

[Seth Wishart]

I should probably have written ages ago - I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for being a dick last time we saw each other - I know I was being off with you, and that's not really ok.

Hope you had a good Christmas, and that you don't mind me writing to you. I just really wanted to get some stuff sorted out with us, because to be honest I had a great time with you, and it seems really screwed up for it to end like this. So... yeah. I'm writing to you. Hopefully you'll write back.

Seth

---------------

Ooc - He's actually a lot more upset still than he's letting on in the letter - there's a lot he wanted to say but he doesn't know how to, so this was the result. This was about the fourth attempt at a letter...

[Rose Weasley]

New year, new start?

I'm very sorry too, because I really like you. As friends and as, y'know. You can ask Chloe, I've been extra-grouchy all term.

You weren't a dick. Well, not any more than I was, at least, so we're definitely quits.

I hope you had a good Christmas, and Happy New Year for tomorrow.

Rose x.

PS. - I wrote back. Just in case you missed that bit.
PPS. - That night, me and Kaycee weren't doing anything. I didn't realise until after that maybe you thought that we were.

-------------------------
Likewise. She's screwed her courage to the sticking post just to put pen to paper, so. She's feeling guilty - I'm coming to the conclusion that that's Rose's default mood...

[Seth Wishart]

Rose,

Well, I like you too. But no, I don't know... Friends and what? Because if you mean more than friends, I don't get why

Ok, we were both dicks - fair enough. I still don't really get why you went to the party with me though, if you didn't actually want to be there with me. Was I just a way of getting at your ex?

Thanks - same to you. What are your plans for New Year?

Seth

PS - Yeah. I noticed that bit. I'm glad you did.

[Rose Weasley]

Seth.

Friends and whatever we were. Because I don't know about you but I don't normally shag my friends in Edinburgh. Or anywhere else, really.

I did want to be there with you - you're not being fair. You went off in a huge huff, remember? I wouldn't have gone with you if I didn't.

I don't know yet, actually. I don't know if there's some mass family thing occurring, or if I can persuade Chloe that she wants to come out with me. Jo too, but she's trickier to lure out. You?

Rose.

PS.- Good.

[Seth Wishart]

Rose,

Well, that's kind of my issue - I don't know what we were. Because I kind of feel like maybe I thought we were more than we were, or on our way to it anyway.

I'm trying to be fair. But you went with me, then went off with your ex-boyfriend for the evening disappeared for most of the night - what was I supposed to think? You made it pretty clear who you actually wanted to spend time with.

I'm working, but we'll probably go out after the show. If you guys fancy hitting London, let me know. Though maybe that would just be awkward

Seth

------------------

Ooc - Sorry he's being so snarky! He's really just hurting and not wanting to show it...

[Rose Weasley]

Seth.

Well, I've no idea what you were thinking. Do illuminate me. Because I'm fairly sure I was thinking along the same lines as teetering on the brink of an actual real-life, fairly good, actual thing, so if you were thinking something different then I'm completely lost.

If you mean Kaycee O'Malley then I knew that was what you were pissed off about all that happened was that we had an argument. And you know as well as I do that once in a fight, it's hard to extricate yourself.

I thought you trusted me, though.
I'm sorry.

I'll think about it.

Rose.

[Seth Wishart]

Rose,

We should probably have talked about this a long time ago. Because yeah, I was hoping thinking hoping it was an actual thing. I just wasn't sure what you were thinking.

Yes, I mean O'Malley, obviously. You had an argument? About what? Or is that not something you want to tell me? Rose, the thing is, I knew you two still had things that weren't really sorted out, and we'd never talked about anything or said how we were feeling or anything, so I didn't know where I stood. Then you just disappeared with him for half the night, and didn't say anything when you came back. I know that was partly my fault, but what was I meant to do? Am I just being completely unreasonable and overreacting? And that's a genuine question, because I don't know what to think any more. I know how I still feel though.

Seth

[Rose Weasley]

Seth.

We should have, you're right.

Does it matter? He was drunk, I was tipsy. We fought about why we broke up, about the fact that I fucking cheated on him, Seth. You want the whole truth? I didn't want to talk to you because I was trying to make myself realise that you could do so much better than me,because if that night proved anything it's surely that I can't handle relationships and you're so, so nice you and I was just awful.

How do you feel?

Rose.

[Seth Wishart]

Rose,

I don't know how to reply to that Don't - don't say things like that. Nobody could do better than you, whatever you've done, and it's not about that anyway. It's not like I'm some perfect guy who never makes mistakes.

But if you can't handle relationships, is there any point in doing this? Because how I feel is that I like you - really like you, as a lot more than a friend, and I have for a while. I thought I could deal with it though, even if you didn't feel the same, and then I realised at that party that I can't. I can't just switch it off and stop liking you, but if you still have issues to sort through with O'Malley, then I can't just ignore that either. I don't want anything more than I want that thing we had to turn into something real, but I don't know what you want, and it's driving me crazy. I'm not saying I want to jump straight into some deep, committed relationship - slow and casual and fun are fine with me. But I need to know it means something, just a little bit.

There you go, I've told the truth too, and I'm going to send this letter before I read it through and realise how stupid I sound and decide not to send it after all.

Seth

[Rose Weasley]

Seth,

I really, really like you and whatever it was meant a hell of a lot to me. Is that enough? Because, in all honesty, I can't stop liking you or missing what we had.

Me and Kaycee aren't 'unresolved', I promise you. Whatever disagreements we have, it's not due to the fact that we want to hop back together again.

Rose. x

[Seth Wishart]

Rose,

I've sat here with a blank piece of paper in front of me for at least five minutes, wishing we hadn't done this by letter because I'd really like to see you just now.

Yes, it's enough for now. And I trust you - so I'm not going to think about O'Malley if you don't either. I just want to be with you and see where things go - that's all I've ever wanted really.

I wish we'd had this conversation months ago, because as James will tell you, I've been a fucking depressing person to be around since September.

Seth x

[Rose Weasley]

Seth,

Me too, a bit. Well, a lot, really. But then I don't know if I'd have said it if I actually had to say it.

That sounds like a good enough plan to me then.

You wally. You wally. I've really, really missed you. Chloe accused me of moping the other week. Keep her away from Jamie for a while, or they'll just moan.

Rose x

PS.- Me too, about the months ago bit, I mean.
PPS. - Do you want to come round, or vice versa? Do the nice talking bit in person? If you're busy or whatever, that's cool, it was just a suggestion.

[Seth Wishart]

Rose,

Fair point. After all, we've been failing to say it for quite a few months now.

I'm not a wally, you're a wally. And I've missed you too, like hell.

Talking of James, which of us is going to tell him about this?

Seth x

PS - I can come round! Where are you, at your parents'? Are they in?

[Rose Weasley]

Seth,

Would you really miss hell though?

You can tell James. I'm nice like that, and he'll enjoy trying to embarrass you even more than he would me.

Yeah, I'm at home. Mum, dad and Hugo are all here though. Not that you're not still welcome, of course, just something to consider. I can easily enough apparate to yours if you'd like.

Rose x

[Seth Wishart]

Rose,

I'm not sure that's what that phrase means, is it? I thought I was saying that missing you was like being in hell...

I was kind of hoping you'd volunteer. You've known him longer, after all. That ought to count for something.

Oh. Well, I wouldn't want to crash a nice cosy family gathering or anything... Can you leave without it being an issue or...? I like this whole having my own place thing - if we had to go to my parents', my sister has a beautiful talent for only being in the house when I don't want her to be. And Jamie isn't here, luckily, because I think whoever breaks the news to him, they should do it in a way that doesn't involve you turning up on the doorstep here. Even though that would be quite funny.

Seth x

PS - I never asked you how the head girling was going. You can tell me about when I see you.