Sebastian

[Ainsley Rickett]

Sebastian,

I hope you had a good Christmas! Sorry that dad wouldn't let us come over - Raegan wanted to sneak out and come see you guys regardless but I didn't think that would've been proper at all. Anyway, I bought you some jumpers and a matching scarf, and a dress and matching jewelry for Chloe. It's all in the package attached to this letter. I hope you two like them! I know you'd prefer to have Firewhiskey or something but I'm not gutsy enough to buy it as a gift for you. And you're of age, so you can buy it yourself if you're not too lazy.

Maybe I'll see you before we go back to Hogwarts? I'm going to my friend's place for the next couple of days but we could all possibly do something before New Year's? Because I know you'll be busy partying and whatnot then. Fingers crossed that you won't be a totally irresponsible loser about it.

Ainsley

[Sebastian Nott]

Ainsley-Painsley,

I'm not going to lie (but if you tell anyone, anyone, anyone, I'll deny everything) I actually can't remember much of Christmas Eve, but I assure you that it was fantastic and that I was with a fabulous Muggle girl who could do the most astonishing things with her tongue. She had serious skills. Even I was hugely impressed by her and that is not often the case. But I was also massively insulted and hugely mopey about the fact that you weren't there on Christmas? Where was my little baby cousin Ainsley? Who was I supposed to dote on? I had to extra-dote on Chloe and it was just super tiring. Don't do that to me again. And ta for the presents, you got me in the midst of drinking wine and studying (every time I learn something new I treat myself to a fresh glass) so I'll give them to Chloe whenever I see her next - I'll just burst into her room at some point soon and she'll be so bowled over with happiness to see me and then she'll see the presents and she'll just explode from the happy. Oh my god, you said gutsy. And I am too lazy. Buy it for me please? Insert pout here. And not just a pout, but an endearing Sebastian Nott pout, with puppy dog eyes. Don't try and resist it.

Okay, so I was thinking the other day, right, and whenever I'm drunk I'm always like "where's Ainsley?" and I always just end up talking to people and being like "you should meet my baby cousin Ainsley she is actually the best ever" and it's just the worst thing ever that you don't appear suddenly so I can embarrass you in front of all my cool friends, so, come out with us on New Year's. Problem solved!

And I'm sorry, but I am not an irresponsible loser. I am beautiful and you love me.

Sebastian

[Ainsley Rickett]

Sebastian,

I can't think of anything pathetic enough to counter 'Ainsley-Painsley' so you're safe for now. Remember the conversation we had once about me wanting to know about zero percent of your sex life? Less than zero, actually. A highly negative percentage. That conversation is very relevant right now, so I'm asking you to please recall it. I already said I was sorry for not being there on Christmas. I'll make it up to you when Easter comes around. You've got to stop doting on Chloe and I as if we're twelve years old. We're both aging just like you are and aren't exactly children anymore. Big surprise, I know. You drink wine while you study? Simply astounding. I'll buy you alcohol when hell freezes over. I can resist the pout quite easily, thanks.

Really? That's charming. I don't even know what to say. Don't you tend to ramble on about everything when you're drunk? I'll think about it, not making any immediate promises though because I don't want to stick out and be the only sober person at whatever party it is that you'll drag me along to. I'll look stupid. I'd rather stay home.

Well, I wouldn't go that far. Don't kid yourself.

Ainsley

[Sebastian Nott]

Ainsley-Wainsley,

You mean you're not cool and skilled enough to think up an equally brilliant nickname for me? Just as I thought. Don't worry, darling, I've had far more practice with adorable nicknames than you have in my seventeen long years. Also, you're being a bit of a prude. I really don't get the whole thing people have with not discussing their sex-life with their family. I mean, obviously I wouldn't go on about my sex-life to my Mum or Chloe, but we're not even first cousins, are we? (Are we? Or are you just pretending to be my cousin so you can occasionally hang out with me?) You need to chillax. You're a growing girl and you need to know that your cousin Sebastian (I'd rather like to be called Uncle Sebastian, would you be down for that?) has had quite a lot of sex. And other stuff. And a certain girl he met had ridiculous skills particularly regarding her tongue. Oh my god, Easterrrr. We should all get bunny onesies? The Notts and the Ricketts? Rock it out in style? What d'you think?

You're not twelve? What? But you're in, like, second year, right? And I can't exactly dote on anyone else. Plus you're adorable. Not quite as adorable as I am, but almost as adorable. Don't beat yourself up about it, kid, it takes a lot of practice to get as adorable as this bloke is.

No woman can resist this pout. Not my Mum, not Chloe (although they both pretend), not the girls I want to give me head, and most certainly not you. So. Alcohol. Make me happy.

Yes, but I extra-ramble about you because you're Ainsley. And I know that it'd annoy you, even in my drunk state, so obviously I have to do it more so than anything else whilst drunk. Aside from girls. If you get my drift. Hey, hey, hey, the way to not stick out by being the most sober person is not to be sober! Either way, I'm still going to cart you around and introduce you to everyone because you're my fluffy bunny etc etc.

I AM BEAUTIFUL AND YOU LOVE ME.

Anyways. How's your love life, Ainsley? Any boys? Who's your secret lover? I won't tell anyone. Cross my heart. Hope to die. (Although I don't, obviously, because me dying would just be cruel to all the girls who haven't met me yet.)

Sebastian