Lou,

[Nate Pritchard]

For fuck's sake, are those girls still being dicks to you? Because I swear to Merlin, they sound like complete pricks. Ignore them. I know I tell you it all the time and I know you say you listen but you're probably too busy being nice.

Next time they start up a rumour of you being a lesbian or whatever just fucking kiss them. If they think that's the worse insult in the world then they're just a bunch of shallow, stupid girls who would probably be so scared of being kissed by a girl in case they get called gay themselves.

Anyway. How have you been?

- Nate

[Lou Pritchard]

Nate-Bait,

They're just being themselves. Whether that means being dicks (can girls be dicks?) is up to them, I guess. Don't worry, they'll regret it. And I was not too busy being nice! I was too busy taking notes and doing the homework due next class that I forgot to do the night before. And besides, they're idiots, I don't listen to them.

If I kiss them, it'll only satif satst satisfy their assumptions, and that's no revenge at all. Even if it would freak them out. Good idea, but I was thinking something with asparagus.

I'm alright. It's cold out, and that's an excuse for stew and baked goods, right? So that's always nice. Are you going home for Christmas this year? I'm trying to figure out if I will. I haven't talked to Syd yet, but I might invite her? I don't think she's very happy here.

Love,
Lou.

[Nate Pritchard]

Lou,

No, they're not just being themselves. They're trying to be cool... which is the stupidest thing ever because you have to be born cool. You don't just get cool by being an arsehole. Girls can be dicks - it's better than the other word I'd use for them. Good, don't listen to them. Otherwise I'd have to get Eli to kick your arse as well as theirs.

What the hell does asparagus have to do with getting them back?

Guess so. Weather's alright. I don't know... I don't really want to if nobody else is going home. I'm not getting stuck in the house with dad If you get to invite someone then I'm inviting Fritz home. But invite your roommate. Might make her look happy instead of miserable all the goddamn time.

- Nate

[Lou Pritchard]

Nate,

They're trying to be cool? But that's ridiculous, what they're doing isn't cool. I swear, I really don't understand girls. What other word- Yeah, you probably shouldn't use that one. If you're thinking what I'm thinking, anyway.
And why would I listen to them, anyway? Eli wouldn't do that though.

Well, they don't like asparagus, right? At least, their ringleader does. And I'm quite certain they'd all hate to gain a few pounds, since that'd make them like me, hahaha, so they only eat vegetables, if they eat at all. If I can convince the house elves not to serve any vegetables (or any healthy food, really) besides asparagus, voila! Fat cows!

Worse than alright, I'd say. I hate the cold. Except for aforementioned stew and baked stuff. But yeah, about inviting someone, I think that's a good idea. Fritz is the cool one, yeah? Please don't invite any girls Yeah, I'll invite Syd, then. And it's not her fault she's upset, she's gone through a lot.

Love,
Lou.

[Nate Pritchard]

Lou,

That's why they're trying. They're also failing because they're a bunch of fuckwits. I'm with you there. Girls are a fucking mystery to me. Don't use that word though. I called a chick in my class that once and mum went ballistic when she found out I'd been using 'inappropriate language' during class which is bullshit because I use inappropriate language everywhere. I don't know. I don't pretend to understand the minds of teenage girls.

I don't know what they eat because I don't give a shit about anything they do... no offence, Lou, but that's a shit plan because the house elves wouldn't listen to you in a thousand years just to make some bitches fat.

Cold's not too bad. Just a shame because chicks wear more clothes Fritz is cool, I guess. I never said it was her fault. I just suggested it'd make her cheer up a bit. Nothing worse than seeing someone so miserable all the time.

- Nate

[Lou Pritchard]

Nate,

Slightly off-topic question, but why do you snog date girls if you don't understand them? And don't call them that, that's just as bad as the other one. Though I guess it's not only mean to girls, so it can't be that bad.

It's not a shitbad plan! It's the only way to get them back for exactly what they did. The punishment fits the crime, see? And the house-elves love me, it's fine. They'd probably be just as offended by this as you are!

I suppose more girls want you to "warm them up" when it's cold, huh? And why do you say 'I guess?' Isn't he your friend? Well, there are probably worse things, like actually being that miserable, but I see what you mean. I don't know how to cheer her up, though.

Love,
Lou.