Christopher

[Aidan O'Banion]

Chris.

I'm bored. And I don't like History of Magic. Do you think if I beat my head against the book, all the information will fly into my brain and I'll never have to sit through this class again?

Oh and do you think I overreacted at The Three Broomsticks the other night? I think it was valid, honestly. I wasn't even yelling. Okay, I was. Sort of.

Also, didn't know your brother was in town....And why is he trying to sleep with my sister? Make him stop

-Aidan

[Christopher De Luca]

Aidan,

Don't call me Christopher I think there's a good chance it'll fly into your brain... and make me happy. So please, go ahead and do it! I'm sure Professor Hawthorne would miss you heaps though. You're obviously his favourite student.

No, you really didn't. My brother's a big whore. So keeping him from getting in your sister's pants was a good thing. Mainly because he doesn't do relationships and you were protecting her from getting hurt. He's a good guy though.

He's always been in town. He just doesn't really visit all that much.

- Chris

[Aidan O'Banion]

Chris,

You really believe so? Or are you just saying that to watch me beat myself with a book? I'm pretty sure that falls under abuse. Chris, you're an abuser.

I'm pretty sure Professor Hawthorne has an unhealthy obsession with me, now that you mention it. I'm just too adorable to resist.

Well...Guess that makes me feel a bit better. And why doesn't he visit? What do you mean?

-Aidan

[Christopher De Luca]

Aidan,

No, not really. I just want to watch yourself beat yourself with a book! Nah, it doesn't fall under abuse. No way. You're doing it to yourself. I didn't physically force your hand to slam the book into your head, did I?

Obviously. Professor Hawthorne's hot stuff. You should go for it.

He just doesn't. I mean, he visits and stuff but not a lot. He's busy with work and women. It's nothing to worry about.

- Chris

[Aidan O'Banion]

Chris,

Bastard. Here you are, getting my hopes up and all you want to do is see me beat meself with a book. And it's called peer pressure, or just social abuse. Something like that. I'm ashamed of you.

Glad to see that you see it too, his obsession with me that is. I just do horribly in his class to not raise suspicion to our love. Sorry Chris, but my love affair with you and Louis is coming to an end. It's just me and Professor Hawthorne now.

Well, that's not cool. If he's in town, he should at least drop in to say hey. But at least you saw him recently? while he hit on my sister but not the point

-Aidan

[Christopher De Luca]

Aidan,

Actually, my parents were married before they had me so that insult is a bit pointless in terms of things. Well... I guess I can admit to peer pressure though. I just didn't realise that I actually had that much power in your life to cause your self-abuse via book.

Of course, of course. It makes sense! I'm positively gutted to find out our relationship is soon to end though. The horror! Now our threesome won't be three but two. A twosome which is awfully lonely. We won't recover from your absence, not ever.

It's not that bad. We're not really close so it doesn't really matter. He remembers my birthday and I see him for Christmas and it's not like we have a bad relationship, just not a very close one. I'm sorry for you having to walk in on my brother hitting on your sister though.

- Chris

[Aidan O'Banion]

Chris,

No need to get technical on me. You are ruining the effects of my insults, damn it. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, and yours is peer pressure. Just say no Chris. Well, I was already on the verge of beating myself to death and you just pushed me when I was down. That has some effect.

I feel awful as well. We had some good times. There will always be a place in my heart for you two, but I'm moving on. But I think my heart would just break if you replaced me.

Well, at least he remembers the important holidays? My brother Conan forgot me birthday two years in a row once. I gave him a proper pillow beating the second time he forgot. And it's alright, not your fault really. Besides, Norah's already bitten my head off for jumping in...Though I don't think some of my smart arse remarks helped...

-Aidan

[Christopher De Luca]

Aidan,

But getting technical is fun. I very much enjoy it. What's the second step then? And why am I saying no? I don't understand. Did I ever say beat yourself to death? No. Though that'd be a mighty interesting gravestone, wouldn't it? Death by book. People would come by your grave and point and laugh because the headstone would say that.

Our special romps were always the best. There's an empty void there now. We're going have to bring in Roomate #4. Caspar. I'm sure he'd love to fill it and we would positively love to have him make two become three.

Yeah, it's definitely a good thing about him - he always remembers the important holidays. My whole family forgot my birthday when I was nine I don't think they were the best things to say considering the situation.

- Chris

[Aidan O'Banion]

Chris,

I don't think it's fun and I think everything is fun. And you didn't have to, I assume that you implied it. I also don't appreciate that bit. Lets leave the cause of death of the tombstones and put something heartwarming like "Aidan, the best person there ever was" and so on.

That they were. No. That's replacing me. You're breaking my heart Chris and making me doubt my relationship with Professor Hawthorne. Besides, Caspar is too busy making me muffins to really appreciate the affair.

And at least he visits sometimes? I didn't see Norah for a good couple years when she was off in America. And what situation? I mean, I was completely justified. I am not becoming me dad. Am I?

-Aidan

[Christopher De Luca]

Aidan,

Sucks to be you then, doesn't it? I think your sister or your mum would be the one to be the ones to write whatever they want on the headstones. You better get in their good graces otherwise Louis, Caspar and I will convince them to put, "Aidan, the moron who beat himself up with a dictionary" on it. Your sister would love that.

You've scored the hottest Professor in Hogwarts though. You left US. We had to find a replacement sooner or later. Why's Caspar making you muffins exactly?

I'm not sad about it if that's what you're thinking. I'm alright with not seeing my brother much. We're not really close. He's got more in common with Anna than with me. The situation of your sister showing her bra to my brother? He doesn't really care what you say to him. He's a prat like that.

- Chris

[Aidan O'Banion]

Chris,

My mum loves me too much to do that...Actually how about I just keep you separated from her? Because she just might as some final lesson or something And Norah, while she'll laugh she knows she wouldn't. Why are we talking about my funeral here?

True, I guess he is really good looking, isn't he? And it wasn't on purpose! It just happened! How was I suppose to know Professor Hawthorne really was just into me? Because I have the power to tell the common room he bakes, and he doesn't want them all to know. So I get awesome muffins.

Alright, I won't press anymore. Sounds like Conan and me I don't know, considering he's much taller than me I'll take my chances with Norah. At least I know what she's capable of. Though she kept calling me "dad". I don't like that.

-Aidan

[Christopher De Luca]

Aidan,

Afraid she'd love me more, mate? I really want to meet your mum properly besides glimpses at Platform 9 and 3/4... I don't think Norah's too happy with me at the moment. I told her I didn't want her dating my brother or something along those lines... you brought up death in the first place!

He's really good looking... I can't deny that. Are you unable to take a hint? Those baked goods and flowers and chocolates that just kept appearing on your bed should have at least been an inkling. Especially when it was signed: 'P.'

I don't want to be left with my brother. He's taller than me as well, you know. You did act like a bit of a dad though. Or an older brother. But it was perfectly understandable in that situation!

- Chris

[Aidan O'Banion]

Chris,

Love you more? This is me we're talking about. I'm damn adorable. And the miracle baby. Not a chance you'll beat me out. Oh and you can meet her if you want, just be prepared to be smothered. You can always stop by over the holidays if you want, she won't mind.

Wait you went up to Norah and told her not to date your brother? I mean, not complaining, but I am a bit in shock you are still able to write me from the grave. I did, but now I think it's your funeral we should be focusing on. What did you say to her? What are your tips on staying alive?

He is, isn't he? But back off, Professor Hawthorne is mine. And just because it takes me a while to pick up on shit that "P" could have been from anyone! It could have been from Pippa, from PJ making amends, or from Aggy forgetting to add the extra line for an "A". You never know. Write-o's happen.

....It wasn't on purpose...

-Aidan