Rora

[Aidan O'Banion]

You.

I got too lazy to walk. You know how that is. Plus it's much more fun to send notes across the Great Hall.

So...What's with this parents day? Did you know about this? I'm pretty sure ma would be here now if she could...

And you know when she gets here she'll be clinging to all our necks, crying about how all four of her babies are away and blah blah. I think she'll try to smuggle Craig out honestly...

-Aidan, the best little shit ever

[Norah O'Banion]

You?

Addie,

I'm going to have to dock points from Hufflepuff, too, for you throwing this note. I can't look bad in front of the other professors. Never mind that we're all up here like a bunch of love struck teenagers sending notes to and fro.

I actually received a note from ma earlier. She and dad are coming. I'm completely terrified because we're all going to be here at once. But luckily I'll have a job to do - I get to meet parents - not that that will stop her anyways from wrapping her arms around me and hugging me until i turn red, anyways. Hopefully she'll be too busy learning what Craig's blown up to come my way. You've been on your best behavior, haven't you? Because I'm not stopping ma from hanging any of you. She may do it in front of the great hall. Be interesting at least. . . And i've only known about it for a couple of days.

I'd be perfectly fine with her smuggling Craig out. He's on my list. Attempted a dung bomb yesterday in my office. Conan is avoiding me - I'm not surprised in the slightest. Has he said anything to you about my being here? He's being even stranger now than he was when I came home after I lost the --he's being strange.

-Rora, the best sister ever.

PS: you still are the best little shit ever.

[Aidan O'Banion]

Yes. You. At least I titled the note, sheesh.

Rora,

Unless you want angry badgers on your tail, I would advise against that. Us badgers, we are vicious. Be afraid. Oooo who is love struck up there?

Oh Merlin, why am I not surprised? She probably wrote the second she finished Headmistress O'Malley's letter. I have a feeling she'll be running in circles not sure what to do with herself when she can't pick who to hug first. I say, we team together like the badass brother/sister team and push Conan to take that fall. Just throw him at her. Oh and I know she will, ma terrifies me sometimes. She can be the sweetest woman in the world...And the scariest.

You've known about it and kept this valuable information from me? What use are you to me then?

Amateur. Don't worry, eventually he'll learn how to do some real pranks...Not that I would teach him anything at all of course. I'm the cool brother.

As for Conan...Lets be honest here, when is he not strange? I dunno, don't worry about him. He's just being a sourpuss. Just make cat ears appear on his head to make you feel better. It would make me feel better. I mean, he did say something but I tuned him out after the third time he repeated himself. He's just...Jealous Conan.

-Aidan, the best little brother the world could offer.

PS. I know I am. I'm just awesome like that. That's how you got awesome. Being related to me.

[Norah O'Banion]

Speaking of names, I had a visit from a friend of yours the other day. He seemed very interested in learning my first name and hitting on me. Poor kid. Name's Nate Pritchard. He didn't have any dirt on you that I could use, though. Sigh.

Addie,

Afraid? That's like telling me to be afraid of a pack of wild kittens on catnip. There's no harm in them really, they're just too adorable to take seriously. Aislinn and Emily None of your beeswax. So in other words I'll tell you when we're not talking through notes.

I say she hugs you boys first, then after things have settled and i'm not busy she can come find me. I'm twenty-six, not twelve. I love Mum, but I don't need her to hold my hand, even if she feels that I do. It's been a roughly a year - I'm okay most of the time. Deal - Conan get's it, the rest of us run? And we keep this to ourselves. She is the sweetest woman in the world, when she wants to be. I'll have to tell you about that time she caught me coming in at 2 a.m. when I was fifteen eventually - and she knew what I'd been doing. That woman is scary. I think that that may have been the first time I was genuinely terrified of ma. That and she kicked my arse. I'm not always perfect, you see.

Plenty of use, you little shit. Besides, I have lesson plans to make, things to mark - you know - A JOB?

Teach him, I kill you both. Sibling dispute, I'll claim insanity. I watched someone get off with a crazy plea when I was in Chicago. It's rather interesting to watch. Do you think Hermione Granger will lock me away for killing you all?

So in other words the little bigger doesn't want me here, right? Sigh. I'm not too sure I care . . .

I bet he's jealous just perpetually strange.



-Rora, the best big sister anyone could have ever had



P.S: Wrong, other way, love. You're awesome because of ME.

[Aidan O'Banion]

Oh wonderful...So this means I have permission to beat him over the head with...something? A loaf of bread?

And of course Nate doesn't have any dirt on me, I'm fucking perfect. That, and he's afraid of my loaf of bread weapon.

Rora,

Ouch. We're totally scary when we need to be. Ma was a Hufflepuff. She's fucking terrifying. I'm a Hufflepuff and I like to think I can be even scarier. Rawr. And yes, good. Because going from large letters to writing very tiny is not suspicious at all.

So basically, we run up, get our hugs in, and you take her for the rest of the night while we pal around dad? Sounds good to me. I love ma it's just sometimes I like to use my neck for important things...Like talking, breathing. Not dying from her choke hold. Normal stuff. And that sounds like an excellent plan to me. We'll just keep stepping back, shove him, and run like gazelles.

Wait, ma caught you sneaking out. And you're alive? Why haven't you told me about this sooner? This is valuable blackmail information. And who said you were perfect? Sorry, that job has already been filled by another member of the family, please feel free to apply for another position.

No. You keep information from me. No use. And sorry, I'm not a big fan of the word job so I chose to believe it doesn't exist until I'm forced to get one.

Why were you watching someone plead insanity? And yes she would. Duh.

Well He's Well Conan is a bastard. I don't see why he would have a problem with it though. Maybe I should beat him with a loaf of bread and not Nate.

-Aidan, the best and most amazing brother anyone could ever hope for.

PS. No sorry. You weren't awesome until I was born. Hate to break it to you.

PPS. Why do we always end up writing novels to each other? I guess what people say is true. We do talk a lot.

[Norah O'Banion]

You're suppose to eat food, not beat people with it. Or did you miss that lovely lesson from ma? He was interesting, nonetheless. Quite the charming non-charmer.

I don't think he'd be afraid of a loaf of bread, love - unless he hates bread, wherein he may be terrified of it. 'Oh no! it's the bread! it has returned! ' There's dirt on you, somewhere out there. I bet your friend, what's his name - Louis? Bet he has some. A drunken tale - an interesting picture.

--

Addie,

Yeah, you're right, there. Ma is absolutely terrifying and completely mental. Can't argue. But you're not terrifying. You're more so like a fluffy bunny that wants to be bad an intimidating. A fluffy bunny in a leather jacket trying to be James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause. Don't worry about it, I told you I'll tell you later. Read the fine print.

I'll take ma for a bit, but not the whole night. I enjoy having a neck too, y'know. That and it's hard to explain to other parents how their children are doing when your mother is wrapped around your neck and strangling you. Plus, I miss Dad, so I'd like to say hello to him too. Then we throw Conan and run.

I told you she beat the crap out of me. Da had to stop her from screaming at me like a banshee. Here's a tip - when you go down to Dublin to get drunk with a few of your friends, make sure Uncle Michael isn't there, and oh - make sure to wear appropriate clothing for a fifteen year old. And this is the first time I'm telling you because it was none of your business, and it s still not, but I trust you. Plus, you can't hold it over my head any more. I'm old enough. I said I was perfect, mister. Your opinion is invalid. I rule the world.

When I get close enough to you, I'm pinching you for verbal abuse of your amazing sister. And don't worry, you'll have to have a job soon enough.

It was a part of my learnings for muggle studies. The judicial system. The American one is rather interesting, though same thing can be said for ours.

I won't tell ma if you do beat him, promise.

-Rora, THE BEST SISTER IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF MANKIND

PS: That's because I was better than awesome, thank you very much.

PPS: I ramble, you ramble - we're Irish, we're good at talking. There were a few times when I was aboard and talking about something that people told me to get to the point. I don't know if I had a point, though - I ramble.

[Aidan O'Banion]

I didn't miss it, just chose to ignore. Besides it's more effective to use food. They never see it coming. Please stop flirting with my friends.

Well...He'll be afraid of it when I'm done with him. And he'll say exactly that when someone asks him for bread. Just wait for it. And there is no dirt period. I'm practically perfect in every way. Me? Drunk? Never...more like all the time but

Don't talk to Louis.

Rora,

See? And you compared us to kittens! We have scary people in our house like Ma. You should be frightened from ever taking points away from us. I'm her son, I can totally be scary when I want to be. Don't doubt me. And what are you talking about? I am James Dean. And sorry couldn't read writing that small. Too much effort for my eyes.

Fine. I guess I miss her, so I'll jump in for the save. But I'll make sure I drag Craig along so she attaches herself to him and leaves my neck alone. I miss dad too. Though, he did rat me out to Uncle Michael about that whole computer thing...He saw one of my letters to Louis. Did I tell you about that? But yes, throw Conan and run. I like this more every time I read it.

If you see me laughing, it's totally not at what I just read. Nope. Though I think that's priceless. You chose a bar Uncle Michael goes to? Oh Rora, shame. Let me take a guess though: he was completely shattered and dad had to come to the rescue and saw his kid running around in skimpy clothing? Yeah...Scratch what's above I am laughing at you. Oh and noted. Next time I go to the pub, I'll make sure all my clothing is appropriate. No thongs. Though there was this one time I got really drunk

I'll pinch back. It'll be like St. Patricks Day in here. You're abusing your adorable brother too, just saying. And don't remind me. Though hopefully it'll be the one I want.

See you should have started with that. Here I was thinking a girl dropped to her knees on the street shouting "I'M INSANE" very loudly. Americans are just interesting.

You won't? Really? He would though. He'll put on the water works probably. And I got a letter from ma last week checking to see if Conan and I have had lunch together yet. Gah. Do I have to?

-Aidan, THE BESTEST MOST AWESOME BROTHER EVER IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM

PS. No. You can't get better than awesome. That's why you had me. Stop living in denial.

PPS. Good point. Rambling should be expected from us. There's no problem not having a point at all. I hardly ever have a point.

[Norah O'Banion]

I'm not flirting with your friends -- yuck, he's like twelve. He was in my office. I like men. Big strong sexy men with great abs and a killer smile oh my god, it's been. Show me one and I'll flirt away. In front of you. I think even though my heart won't be in it

I'll talk to Louis whenever I feel like it. He's a student of mine, remember? I'm certain he'd love to have an endless conversation about something muggle. He'd probably be interested in my time in America spent living with muggles and actually studying at a muggle university. We'll have endless conversations which will eventually turn to you and what you do on your spare time. . .

Addy,

How about deranged, absolutely mental kittens? That sums it up perfectly. I'm her daughter, some say ma and I are spitting images of one another. Add onto that the recklessness that is Gryffindor and tell me - who should be afraid of whom? If you're James Dean I'm Elizabeth Taylor - or better yet, Marilyn Monroe. Everything is too much effort for you love. Stop being a lazy little shit.

Computer thing, what did you do? You didn't ruin a perfectly good computer, did you?

What were you laughing at then, you little shit? If it is me I'll never tell you anything again - even though I'm completely lying. You guessed correctly. Although in fairness I was going to take Uncle Michael home on my own, with the help of Kiefer, but then Dad sort of came in - the owner had called him, and it was all she wrote. Let's forget I was slightly knackered at that moment, too and yes - me outfit was skimpy. Ma wanted to kill me.

Next time you go to the pub? So are you admitting to underage drinking, then? I wasn't wearing a thong, either - but I think it'd be pretty interesting to see you running around in one.

It'll be like St. Paddy's day, huh? Let's have a few drinks before we get down to the pinching and it'll be like Gemma's last birthday when Dad accidentally got Ma drunk and she was okay until he smacked her on her bum. Poor dad. Poor Gemma. What a way to celebrate your birthday.
So - what job do you want?

No, Addie, that's something you'd do. And America is interesting, very interesting. It's been seven years and I still can't get over the fact that they call crisps chips and chips fries.

I didn't see anything - and it's two against one - maybe that's why he doesn't like emjoy our company? Maybe we should all have lunch together?


-Rora, THE BEST SISTER EVER SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME AND MAN.

PS: Of course you can get better than awesome, that's why I'm alive. Duh. Not denial, acceptance.

PPS: I hardly do either. Our amazingness guarantees that we're forgiven, though.

[Aidan O'Banion]

Too much information for me. What, are you going to make out with the Charms professor to prove a point? Wait no. Don't do that I actually like that class. Did I tell you I got an O in there on me OWLs?

But you forget I live with him basically. He has to deal with me. He tells you (not that there is anything to tell), I jump on him as soon as he walks through the door. Full proof. I have the upper hand here. I swear if he mentions the thong thing I will kill him Plus you play dirty. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Rora,

No sorry, I prefer fearsome, man-eating badgers of doom. That's what we are. Oh and that question is easy. You should be afraid of me. And back to the man-eating badgers of doom to prove my point. Even if I am more like dad. No sorry, you can't be Marilyn Monroe, you have to be Shirley Temple. I'm lazy and I'm proud. Why do you think I'm writing you notes when your ten feet from me? It requires extra movement, so I'm not going to do it.

Remember that weekend Craig and I went to Uncle Michael's? I might have, accidentally, tripped over one of Craig's shoes and spilled a glass of water all over Uncle Michael's computer. And broke a key of the keyboard after misreading some on Louis' advice. I popped it right back on though. And the computer dried, but dad saw my letters to Louis where he was telling me how to fix it and ratted me out. It still works! Maybe not as well, but it functions!

You know when you use harsh words like "little shit" you break a piece of my heart each time. And you know you are lying because you talk as much as me and I'm one of the few that can handle it. Because you and me, we're so alike. Just admit it. And wait Kiefer? The bloke I set the five dungbombs off on? Oh, I stuck one in his trunk at one point before he left, by the way. Uncle William said it was a good idea, so I did it. I thought it was brilliant at the time.

Really, is it that surprising? If there's beer, you can usually find me close by. And think ma and dad have learned to accept that. I have never worn a thong. Where would you get such a horrid idea...

Pretty much St. Patty's day. We have enough Irish in the school to pull it off, don't we? Two new Irish professors. It's wonderful. Oh god. I remember that. Barely. I think Gemma and I had a few drinks by that time, so I don't think she was too horrified until after it had passed. But honestly not a mental picture I want back in me head, thanks. Ma gets so emotional when she drinks. I think she would cry if someone were to pick a flower in front of her. "It had such a long life! Whhhhy?!"

And don't you know? It'll sound silly, but the auror department has always been very intriguing to me. I don't know. We'll see.

I think I have done it already actually. But no one ever takes me seriously here. It's quite disappointing....And what kind of madness is that? Americans are just odd and I don't understand them. They can't even call football by it's proper name.

Probably why. We should totally be more considerate...Ha. And please because if I have to eat with him alone and listen to the bugger complain again I might just strangle him.

-Aidan, THE BEST BROTHER IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE

PS. De-nial (Da Nile) is not just a river in Egypt. I'm sorry but the point you were trying to make was marked wrong so your argument is proven invalid. The winner is: Aidan.

PPS. I would think so. It's not our fault they can't keep up.

[Norah O'Banion]

Oooh, you've given me a fantastic idea, Addie. Why would you even tell me that? Now I must do it. I must snog him, right in front of you. Perhaps it'll bloom into a full blown shag, who knows? Then I can thank you for the wonderful idea. Afterwards you and I can giggle and talk about it in my office like two girls. Sound good? You bring the ice cream.

And no, you didn't tell me you got an O! Congrats, Addie. I'm sorry I was kind of out of it when you got your results in; I didn't mean to be. You and I can sneak down to Hogsmeade, on me, to make up for it?

I don't play dirty, I play fair. I will find out what Louis knows and if you threaten him I'll just have to take you outside and settle thing. I like Louis, he's adorable, unlike you. Plus, he likes me and he genuinely likes my course. So get over it.

ADDIE,

Extra movement, or three hundred extra words? Either way we both talk too damn much. You can't even shut up in letters, neither can I, but i'll be stereotypical and say I'm a woman, it's expected of me. And you and Dad, that's why ma beats you both, poor thing. And Badgers? What about a frightening lion. RAWR. A lion would just sit on a badger and it'd be a day. Alright? So hush.

See, this is why Uncle Michael doesn't let you touch anything. THIS RIGHT HERE. I'm surprised he didn't knock you over the head. So has Uncle Michael forgive you yet? I doubt it . . . And I know Craig wasn't innocent in this, he probably did something, too.

And that's why Kiefer never talked to me again. You little shit. I liked him, plus he was a fantastic kisser. We are really similar, it's scary how much so. Perhaps you spent too much time with me when you were younger? I'll know for certain when I find you drunk and table dancing one night.

Not really considering I've done worse. It's all good. And I don't believe you. I can tell you I've worn a thong, a few times . . . so just tell me the truth, Addie. When, where, why - and WHO did you wear the thong for.

The luck of the Irish - next thing you know we'll have a leprechaun running about looking for his gold. Do you think it's safe having this many irish folk in one place at a time? I don't think so. I'm picturing a burning castle . . . And poor Ma, she's a darling, but one hell of a woman. If I could be half the woman she is, I'd be completely happy.

I could actually see you as an auror. A clumsy one, but one nevertheless. I think that's good for you. I'm proud of you. Like I've always told you, I believe in you and you can do anything, love.

You're just not someone we can take seriously, ever. I'd hate to see you in real trouble, because we'd never know. And Americans . . . they're interesting. I'm biased, completely and wholly, though. I was in love with one once. Still am And they do have a football game, though. It's pretty interesting, not as fun as our football.

Don't strangle him while I'm around. I need my job. And I love you both equally, but it's true, you're are my favourite.



-Rora , THE REASON YOUR EXISTENCE IS RELEVANT.

PS: All I have to say is HAHAHA. You think you're funny.

PPS: I wonder what quiet people are like, though. Just imagine what they're like. I bet they're terrifying and don't know what fun is. Look at Conan - I didn't say that, either.

[Aidan O'Banion]

Oh Merlin I knew I should have scratched that out. Or not put it down at all, really. But if you snog him, you have to work with the bloke. So it could be a good thing, or you could make the situation awkward and give me something to laugh at you for. And who says I'm bringing the ice cream? You have the job here! You bring it!

Hey don't worry about it. I was trying not to tell people incase you know, they were completely horrid. Which, I did get a D in History of Magic, but honestly that should have been expected. Ma scolded me for that. At least I got two O's? And that sounds excellent. Sneaking out to Hogsmeade. We're so mischievous.

No see, that is playing dirty right there! And what will you do? Put a brick inside a pillow? Try to sell me? You are abusing your powers as a professor. Abuse! And what are you talking about? I'm adorable. Adorably adorable. I will never get over it.

RORA,

Why are we starting letters before we address them? But with the words, I can always have an enchanted quill do my work whereas moving to the staff table requires me to actually move. Ma doesn't want to beat me, she loves me. I am the miracle baby, after all. Yeah, she wants to beat dad but I'm totally innocent and adorable. And no, sorry, Badgers are vicious creatures even a lion would be afraid of. It would be like an elephant with a mouse. The lions would never stand a chance.

It was an accident! Plus I'm pretty sure Craig did something to that shoe because it wasn't there when I left the room. And...well...not really. He's picking out any small glitches and blaming me for it. He didn't even notice until dad told him. That's just not right.

Hey, blame...well...very male adult figure in our family, I guess. I just did the dirty work, they supplied me with ideas and weapons. And just going to point out that at least it was me and not Craig. If it was Craig, poor Kiefer would have been on fire. Within five minutes. And why would you underline little? Are you trying to hurt my confidence? How come I got the short end of the stick with ma's height and you grew tall like dad? This makes no sense to me. And I think that's the case. But wait. You table dance?

What worse? Tell me what's worse! I could probably top you if I tried. Though maybe not. I have not worn a thong. And if I did, I wouldn't tell you any details because that would be the equivalent to suicide.

People already call me a leprechaun, so we're half way there! Now I just have to find me gold and everything will be perfect. Well, we barely survived in Ireland so now that were confined in one area...Yeah I think the school is likely to explode. Didn't the Finnegan's dad try to explode it already? You kind of lost me there, but you are exactly like ma so you can start with the happiness?

Could you really? Or are you just saying that to be a supportive sister and really you are thinking I'm completely mental? Thanks Rora. See, this is why I talk to you and not Conan. Love you too.

I can be serious! For longer than ten seconds I swear! But you would come anyway if you didn't know I was in real trouble or not...right? Their football is like a safer, less rough, version of rugby. Not football.

Fine I'll do it when you aren't around, don't worry. And of course I am. It's me.

-Aidan, ACTUALLY MA AND DAD ARE THE REASON MY EXISTENCE IS RELEVANT

PS. I'm hilarious. See, you laughed. And I'm always right, of course.

PPS. I can't imagine what they are like without going slightly crazy at the thought. It's got to be MISERABLE. I don't know how Conan does it. He hates fun.

[Norah O'Banion]

DEAR ADDIE,

Better, yeah?

We're both consenting adults, if we state from the beginning that it's obviously meaningless, hot, perhaps rather kinky sex, I think we'd both be okay. What do you think, Addie? It happens in the films all the time. Am I making you uncomfortable yet? I have the job? Whose dorms are right off of the kitchen. Lazy!

I understand, love. Still doesn't stop me from feeling horrid considering nine times out of ten you tell me everything, even things I don't want to know. But good job, kid. Hogsmeade on me, couple of butterbeers or maybe even a glass of a good ol' brew. We'll work on it when we go. Just remember, I like my job.

A brick, selling you? Merlin, you and those tall tales, I have no idea what you're talking about!
I'm adorable - and sexy, hate to break it to you. You're two shots shy of ogre. . . I love you.

I started the letter at the top, happy now? Even though that proves how much we talk. . . we've got three conversations going at once. Merlin, do we ever shut up? And Ma loves me more, I'm her only girl. So while you may be the miracle, i'm the special one. And Hahaha. Let my lion pick your badger out of its teeth while you contemplate the absurdity of your statement.

Well, you should blame dad for telling on you. But don't touch things you have no idea how to use, love. Or at least ask . . . and keep water away from electronics! Or next time Uncle Michael will kill you.

I should be lucky then that Craig was still in diapers and barely to my knee, then, huh? And I'll tell you like I told Dad (Uncle Michael, and anyone of our other uncles that were round') when they finally came to terms with the fact that I - indeed - was a woman - I DO WHAT I WANT. Haven't you learned by now, Addie, if you tell me I can't do something, I do it. It's the same with you. Just think of how much more fun something seems when it's taboo. Oh merlin, i'm maybe an inch taller than you! You can wear heels, even it out, perhaps? You'll be good then. i've got a fantastic skirt and some cherry red pumps that you can borrow. It'd make my day interesting, to say the least.

Do you really want to know what i've done drunk? I don't think so. . . You've so worn a thong, Addie. Oh my. When and for who. You must tell me more, Thong Boy.

I lost myself, but that's just how we talk, obviously. And I do believe the Finnegan's dad did blow something up here back in the 90s. I'd have to ask Nellie Professor McGonagall. She was here in the 90s. You can be the leprechaun. You've got the height. And I am happy I think okay, i'm content right now.

No I can go. I'll sit and play mediator. Perhaps that'll be the perfect time to discuss with Conan how he can learn to relax just a tad.

And You know i'd come, I'd probably be the first there, then Ma and Pa right behind me. I love you too much to even wait to see if you were fibbing. If you were fibbing, though, I'd kick your arse. Know that. Rugby without the brute force. Good comparison. Why aren't you taking muggle studies again?

Alright, but these letters were never written.


-RORA
I SAID RELEVANT, BUT IF YOU'D REALLY LIKE TO THINK OF MA AND DAD LIKE THAT, THEN BE MY GUEST.

PS: You're never right, and I didn't laugh. It was a spasm.

PSS: I can't even fathom staying quiet for five minutes, even when I'm alone. And poor Conan. Really, what do you suppose happened to his fun button. . .