|
|
Post by Aislinn MacElfrish on Sept 28, 2012 17:14:27 GMT -5
Meh, he's alright. They can have him if they really want. But I will stab them to death with my spoon.
Ew, no you can't. Salt or sugar, golden syrup at a push. That's it. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with having varied sex in interesting ways, just that sex shouldn't involve porridge.
How about you keep what you know to yourself, and I'll do the same, and we'll both be happy!?
Check with Isabella, but I'm pretty sure you're not... I wouldn't ask her about sex either, remember: she is your boss. Although I bet she's had porridge-sex at some point in her life.
Wait, both of us? What have you said to Jack? Will he need counselling? Therapy? Ice-cream?
xxxxxx
|
|
|
|
Post by Emily Marsdon on Sept 28, 2012 17:27:33 GMT -5
Oh really? Okay, I'll spread the news round then.
Banana, blueberries, honey, black treacle, cinnamon, raisins. Not necessarily all together. And there is no 'should' or 'should not' in this situation. Don't knock it until you've tried it, that's my motto.
Wait, you mean I'm not supposed to tell anyone you guys are shagging? Oops...
Merlin, woman, give me a bit of credit. Why would I ask her about sex? Do you think that every conversation I have is related to it? What are you going to warn me of next? 'Oh, next time you speak to your parents, don't bring up sex.' Or how about, 'When you're getting your license from the Ministry about importing foreign creatures, there's no need to mention your sex life.' I am capable of having conversations about other things, you know.
Unfortunately, I haven't wound Jack up in far too long. But I know from the past how much fun it is. I'm sure he'd appreciate some ice cream and 'therapy' from you though.
xxxxxxx
|
|
|
|
Post by Aislinn MacElfrish on Sept 30, 2012 13:42:19 GMT -5
You just try that.
Fine, you have porridge-sex. I just think it's weird, is all. Very weird and a bit gloopy. Also, stodgy. Which is good in a breakfast cereal designed to keep you warm and properly fully fortified until lunchtime, but less so in sex.
That's not what I meant, I meant you keep what you know about sex in general to yourself, and I'll do likewise. But have you been telling people about me and Jack? If so, who?
I'm just saying it's a possibility.
Oh, haha. Everyone always likes ice-cream, but I'm not a qualified therapist. (Yes, that may be wilful misunderstanding on my part...)
Please could you pass the coffee-pot? Ta.
xxxxxxx
|
|
|
|
Post by Emily Marsdon on Sept 30, 2012 14:23:41 GMT -5
Well, I said I would.
You're over thinking this whole thing. It's because you're a Ravenclaw, isn't it? Although sex is pretty good for making you feel warm and properly fortified until lunchtime too.
Aw, am I making you uncomfortable? And no, actually. Apart from Digger, but he doesn't count. Should I have been?
Yes, that's right. I'm the sex-crazed teacher who is prone to talking about it by accident at any moment. Lovely.
I'm sure he'd like ice cream even more if it came on you. Sorry, I mean from. And I doubt if he'll mind too much about the qualifications, but I can fake you a certificate if you want?
Here you go, note to follow coffee pot. Now people are giving me funny looks because I passed you the coffee pot without you actually asking for it...
xxxxxxxx
|
|
|
|
Post by Aislinn MacElfrish on Sept 30, 2012 14:53:16 GMT -5
Well, don't. I've changed my mind. I like him lots after all.
I'm not over-thinking, I just don't want porridgey sex!!!
Yes, you are. I'm Glaswegian. Respectable working-class stock, we don't talk about this kind of thing. I'll let Digger slide by, and no, you just made it sound like you were telling everyone people.
Ha. Not funny. Well, possibly kind of, in an I'd-never-tell-you-if-I-tried-that kind of thing. Though I'd be more open to that than porridge, I won't lie. I'll decline that offer, I think it might be illegal...
Thank-you! People always give you odd looks, mainly because you're a sex-crazed teacher, as we've already ascertained.
xxxxxxxx
|
|
|
|
Post by Emily Marsdon on Sept 30, 2012 15:36:48 GMT -5
Yes, I thought you might.
You need to open your mind to possibilities. You've never tried it, so you can't know it would be bad. You can only think it would be bad, because you're overthinking.
Respectable... don't worry, my family are very respectable too. It's easily fixable.
I know I did. You're way too easy to wind up.
Of course you'd tell me. You wouldn't be able to resist it. And I think it would only be illegal if you then tried to sell your services as a therapist. I'm pretty sure owning a fake certificate purely for use in the bedroom wouldn't be illegal.
It's true, I know. Sad facts.
xxxxx
|
|
|
|
Post by Aislinn MacElfrish on Sept 30, 2012 18:26:05 GMT -5
Can we just agree that I don't want sex involving porridge and leave it at that? Please?
I think my family's idea of respectable may be a little rougher different to yours. It's ingrained in my psyche, trust me, I've tried to overcome it.
I probably would tell you but then I'd also probably have to tell you what I did last night - does that make you happier? Therapy-sex sounds messed-up. I don't want him to burst into tears or anything embarrassing halfway through, that'd be beyond awkward.
Poor darling.
xxxxxxxxx
|
|
|
|
Post by Emily Marsdon on Oct 2, 2012 4:33:53 GMT -5
No.
Well possibly. Have you met my little sister though? Actually, her respectability seems to have been dropping off a bit lately. Which only goes to show that if she can lost it, you can too.
It doesn't make me happier because I knew it all along. And I was using the word therapy in the loosest possible way there. I agree, tears in sex are bad. (Wow, something we actually agree on.)
Yes, feel sorry for me.
xxxxxx
|
|
|
|
Post by Aislinn MacElfrish on Oct 2, 2012 10:56:27 GMT -5
Why not?
I can't think of her off of the top of my head, what's her name? I therefore don't know how significant a loosening of her respectability is!
Oh. OH. Okay, that's fine. I'll shag him, I can deal with that.
YES! SUCCESS! Next stop, we take over the world...
No, I refuse.
xxxxxxxxx
|
|
