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Post by Emily Marsdon on Sept 27, 2012 17:11:48 GMT -5
I want to play pass the sexy suggestive note down the staff table too. Nellie's not paying attention to me though, so it'll have to be you. Now to complete the circle, Jack has to write one to me.
Good idea, right?
xoxo
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Post by Aislinn MacElfrish on Sept 27, 2012 17:16:05 GMT -5
I am not sending sexy suggestive notes to Jack. If you must know, it was a note partially about porridge, the least suggestive food ever.
So there.
Why is Nellie ignoring you? Try Norah.
Love, Aislinn xx.
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Post by Emily Marsdon on Sept 27, 2012 17:22:44 GMT -5
You know, you keep going on about different things being completely lacking in sex appeal, but what you don't understand is that anything can be suggestive if you approach it right.
For example: "This porridge would look better on your naked body." Not the best line, maybe, but you have to start somewhere.
"So there" translated means "I'm on the defensive, so I must be lying."
I don't need to try Norah. I'm trying you. And you love it.
xxxxx
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Post by Aislinn MacElfrish on Sept 27, 2012 17:30:25 GMT -5
If you and Digger are into kinky porridge sex, then that's completely up to you, I won't judge. It's just not my cup of tea - or bowl of breakfast food, as it were.
The porridge would not look better on my naked body, sorry to disappoint.
I'm not very defensive! Just honest. So there.
That last sentence sounds dirty after the porridge line. In your dreams, Marsdon, in your dreams...
Love, A xxx
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Post by Emily Marsdon on Sept 27, 2012 17:54:21 GMT -5
Me and Digger are into kinky everything sex. (I hope nobody I don't know very well intercepts this note, that would be awkward.) I'll convert you.
I bet Jack would think it did. I'll ask him.
Lesson about honesty: There's no need to add 'so there' onto the end of it.
See, you're getting the hang of this. In my dreams it is, MacElfrish. (Imagine if a student read these letters)
xxxxx
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Post by Aislinn MacElfrish on Sept 27, 2012 18:00:20 GMT -5
Only on the proviso that I don't have to have kinky everything sex with you and/or Digger... And that no porridge is involved, ever. In any way.
Orrrrr you don't have to. Good plan?
But I can do if I want to - free country! So, 'nerrr' to quote a particularly obnoxious first year I taught yesterday.
How are students or people you don't know very well going to read these - we are passing them along the staff table, not around the hall!
xxx
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Post by Emily Marsdon on Sept 27, 2012 18:12:08 GMT -5
But we're good at it, I promise! Still, you're willing to be converted, this is progress. What do you have against food sex though? You reacted this way to the pudding idea too...
I'm drafting out my approach... How's this? "Hey Jack, Aislinn and I were just arguing about whether porridge would look better splodged together in a bowl or spread delectably on her naked body, and we thought you could have the deciding vote here. What do you think?"
Sometimes I'm glad I don't teach First Years. But anyway, free country or not, it still says defensive...
Well I know, but I only said imagine. And by 'people I don't know very well' I meant 'people I don't share details of my sex life with', which contrary to common belief actually includes most of the staff...
xxxxx
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Post by Aislinn MacElfrish on Sept 28, 2012 13:33:07 GMT -5
I've decided you can't play 'pass the sexy suggestive note down the staff table', I'm sorry.
Food is good, sex with Jack is very good. I just think you have to be picky about how you combine the two, and apple crumble or whatever it was and porridge just don't work!
You will make me him blush, don't be mean. I'm rather fond of him.
I am not defensive! And now I feel like I'm being defensive about not being defensive, and it's all just a horrible cycle and it's all your fault!
I cannot imagine my students reading this, my brain will not allow it for the sake of my own sanity. Really? I don't believe you... (I'm joking. Kind of. Definitely.)
A xxxxx
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Post by Emily Marsdon on Sept 28, 2012 14:02:04 GMT -5
Aw, don't say you're getting possessive, my love?
See, when you cross things out like that, I don't even need to read the letters underneath to know what it said. I could see the capital J anyway. Nobody said the porridge and the apple crumble had to be combined.
He shouldn't be so sensitive. He has to learn.
Why not just admit that I was right in the first place, and you're sending sexy suggestive notes to Jack at the table? Then the cycle would be broken - see, logic? Thought that was meant to be your department.
Your brain doesn't let you imagine things you shouldn't? Why doesn't my brain work like that? And believe it or not as you like, but just because people think they know everything about my sex life doesn't mean they actually do.
xxxxxxx
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Post by Aislinn MacElfrish on Sept 28, 2012 14:08:36 GMT -5
Possessive over what? You invented this odd little game!
I was trying to maintain decorum at the breakfast table, you don't help me in that if you're going to read it anyway!
Even separately they don't work! They're both gooey and lumpy and no. Just no. If you're going to have sex with food (I tried to phrase that not weirdly, but I couldn't...), it shouldn't be lumpy or gritty. Think of the crumbs in bed you'd get from crumble...
No I wasn't. They weren't very suggestive! That's no logic, at all. That's Gryffindor pigheadedness in action.
Perk of being Ravenclaw HoH, I'm afraid. Or perhaps any HoH, it's necessary for maintaining sanity, as I said. Of course I believe you, and trust me when I say that I mean this in the nicest way possible: I do not want to know more details of your sex life, involving porridge or no.
xxxx
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Post by Emily Marsdon on Sept 28, 2012 14:36:50 GMT -5
Over Jack, duh. And I did not invent it, I only gave it a name. You were already playing it, remember?
I'm not trying to help you in that, why would I do that?
You're adorablly straight lacked. Personally, I insist on stopping sex for biscuit breaks, so crumbs in the bed don't really worry me.
If you say so. I don't believe you.
Well then, I see my personal job to be getting your brain to look past the filter and imagine all the things you don't want it to. Wish me luck! I've never had sex with porridge actually. I'll suggest it to Digger and see if he has any creative ideas.
xxxxx
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Post by Aislinn MacElfrish on Sept 28, 2012 14:50:40 GMT -5
I am not possessive over Jack. Are you also sending him suggestive notes? Because then I might have grounds to be.
Because we're teachers. We're supposed to maintain decorum and not descend into smut until at least lunchtime. Elevenses at the weekend.
Not wanting sex involving porridge is normal, not straight-laced: I'm Scottish and from a pretty rough area of Glasgow, and I can't think how porridge could be suggestive...
I believe me.
I thought your job was teaching Care of Magical Creatures? Good luck, not with the porridge-sex though. Very very bad luck with that.
xxxxxxxx
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Post by Emily Marsdon on Sept 28, 2012 14:58:37 GMT -5
Also? What is this 'also'? Who else is sending him suggestive notes, hm?
Don't be silly.
Normal sex is boring. You need to spice things up a bit. Like porridge, actually. Kind of dull until you start adding ingredients.
I don't believe that either.
Sometimes I do that too. Though that's not very nice. Wishing me bad luck with sex, that is. I've never wished you anything but good luck with sex. I would say I'll stop giving you tips if you're going to be mean, but that's exactly what you want, so I won't.
xxxxxxxxx
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Post by Aislinn MacElfrish on Sept 28, 2012 15:08:57 GMT -5
Nellie. Definitely Nellie.
What in Merlin's name do you put in your porridge?! If 'normal sex' is sex without porridge, I'm pretty cool with that.
You should do. It's true.
I'm a very mean person, what can I say. I'm glad you sometimes do the job you're paid for, instead of harassing your fellow Professors...
xxxxx
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Post by Emily Marsdon on Sept 28, 2012 17:08:53 GMT -5
At this rate, half the staff's going to be after your boyfriend. You'd better hold onto him tight.
You can put anything in porridge. And I clearly need to corrupt you, you're much too innocent. Porridge isn't the only way to spice up sex, you know. I should know.
Whatever.
You mean I'm not paid to harass you? Shame. I'd probably be earning a payrise by now if I was. You guys are just too easy to wind up, both of you.
xxxxxxx
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