Josh

[Sebastian Nott]

Joshuuuuua,

Where are you, you little monkeyslut? Did you find a new best friend to spoon with? Shocked and appalled by your scandalous disloyalty. And not only am I shocked and appalled, I am also hurt. Wounded, even!

The only way for you to redeem yourself is to get over here and into my bed right now. Wear tarty knickers and bring a decent supply of firewhiskey.

Love you loads,
Seb

[Josh Clayworth]

Sebastiannnnnnn

What on earth is a monkeyslut? No, I still have only you, unfortunately. Well, excuse me for spending the summer with my family. Would you relax? I don't drop by to your house and you're being all hissy.

Yeah, that's not happening. I am coming over to find out what this plan is about Chloe's birthday though. I got the invite and I signed up to distract her, because that's what the invite said we could opt for if we wanted. Did you actually come up with details for this brilliant plan? I bet Rose is the person I need to talk to for this.

Okay,
Joshua

PS: Are you bringing a plus one or are you just going to pick somebody depending on your mood?

[Sebastian Nott]

Joshiiiiiieeeee,

My darling boy, you should be thrilled you have such a handsome best friend as I. Women flock towards me. Men are awed in my presence. And yet you - the one I hold dearest to my heart - make a mockery of the love I give you! Again: I am wounded, and the only way you can redeem this is by TARTY KNICKERS.

Actually it was my idea to do something to cheer Chloe up. I just enlisted Rose because she's Rose, she's the sort of person you need to organise things, and she likes Chloe enough to put up with me teasing her. That and she's madly in love with me but that goes without saying. Anyways, Rose and I are taking Chloe out for the day and you lot will have to decorate the Manor and set out the booze and all that jazz while we're gone. I trust you can do that?

I don't love you anymore you big fat slag,
Seb

P.S. Of course I've got a plus one. Let me remind you that I am Sebastian Nott. I'm bringing Eva Faraday. We'll be at the party for a while before I escort her to my room and get her out of her clothes as fast as is humanly possible.

Actually, I sort of wanted to go with someone else, but that didn't really work. I mean, I want to go with Eva, she's fit, but I want to bang someone else a tiny bit more. Woe is me.

[Josh Clayworth]

Sebbbb,

Why would I be thrilled? Shouldn't I feel threatened that you get all the attention? In fact, I should be horribly jealous. You should be happy that I don't feel jealous and keep you around, you know. Please, you're starting to sound like a preteen girl in a chick flick. Do you even know what a chick flick is? No, sorry, I don't own tarty knickers. Are you going to un-friend me?

Good for you! Hey, I'm glad you enlisted Rose because really, if only you'd organized it, it would've been a strip club. Yeah, I think I can do that. But am I going to be the only one doing it?

Don't lie.
Josh.

PS: Oh really? Who did you actually want to take?

PPS: You still haven't congratulated me on being Head Boy. I'm beginning to question your best friend-ness.

[Sebastian Nott]

Joshiiiiiie,

That's right, you should be horribly jealous, but you're my best friend so you can't be. It's not what best friends do. And I keep you around, you saucy git. Chick flick? Is that a type of porn? And I know you own tarty knickers. Proof: you're a tart. You must have them somewhere.

Shut up, you. Strip clubs are fantastic. Nah, Eva and a few others are helping as well. My cousin Ainsley and my other cousin Raegan. Some from our year. The usual. Anyways! Who're you bringing as your date?

I never lie,
Seb

P.S. You can't tell anyone, ie Scorpius.

P.P.S. YOU GOT HEAD BOY?!?!?! YOU MASSIVE WALLY, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

[Josh Clayworth]

Seb,

Well, I said I wasn't didn't I. I was just warning you that I could be! Hey, no way. I'm the one who keeps you around. Never mind, chick flick is a movie meant for girls because it's romantic and funny and cheesy and all sorts of other horrors which would make our balls shrivel up and fall off. No, I don't. You've been through my underwear drawer, doing God knows what.

I never said they weren't, but I don't think it's right for Chloe. Oh good, just tell me what to do when and I'll be there. I'm not bringing date.

Liar,
Josh.

PS: Okay, now I'm really curious. I promise not to tell.

PPS: Yes, you know what that means? I can put you in detention, whenever I want to. And I thought Rose must've told you or something ! Didn't you plan this party with her?!

PPPS: What the heck does it mean fancy dress?