Sylvie

[Lavinia Hewer]

Dear Sylvie,

Hey, just dropping you a quick line! How're things? How's your job? How are you? (That's far too many "how's". I should just stick with one.)

We should grab lunch or coffee or drinks sometime. The boys would love to see you, so perhaps one of the first two would be best!

Write back soon. xx

Love,
Lav

[Sylvie Robards]

Dear Lav,

Things are alright, my job is brilliant and I am well, to answer everything succintly! How are you? Are you coping okay with the boys? I've no idea how you manage with two under-fives, but they're wonderful kids!

Of course, that'd be wonderful! Are you free next weekend? There's a nice little country pub near me, with a play-park for the boys, if you wanted to go out for lunch?

Lovely to hear from you, Lav!

All my love to you and George,
Sylvie x

[Lavinia Hewer]

Dear Sylvie,

Good, I'm glad to hear it! I'm fantastic, thanks. Of course I'm coping! I don't know how I do it, either. Matthew's an angel; it's Joshua you've got to watch out for. I want another... am I crazy?

Yes, I'm free next weekend. And that sounds lovely. Looking forward to it.

Love,
Lav

[Sylvie Robards]

Dear Lav,

Yes, definitely loopy. But good luck! But if you and George ever want a weekend away, you know where I am for baby-sitting duties! I'll gladly spoil them rotten for a few days, so long as you promise I can give them back afterwards...

I always think Joshua reminds me of Florence when we were kids.

Hooray! I'm looking forwards to it now!

Love, Sylvie xxx

[Lavinia Hewer]

Sylvie,

Ugh, I know! I'm terrible. I haven't even mentioned it to George yet because I think he'd kill me with his glares. But I love my boys to pieces. Speaking of... Joshua thought he could fly, so he jumped off of the changing table. Poor doll wasn't hurt too badly, but he cried for the rest of the night....

Oh, such a lovely sister. Get them all sugared up and send them home to Mummy. I know your evil plans. (And I will probably take you up on that offer one day!)

Love,
Lav

P.S. Any lovers in your life?

[Sylvie Robards]

Lav,

Oh, so this is an entirely hypothetical third one then? Not an on-the-verge-of-conception baby? Oh no! The poor soul! And the rest of you, of course! Maybe when he starts to show magic, he'll be able to fly...

I am, aren't I! Best sister ever, facilitating dirty weekends away with your husband, and yet you're so astoundingly ungrateful. It's a disgrace, I tell you.

Lovers? Of course not! No lovers at present, no. Why?

Love, Sylvie xxx

[Lavinia Hewer]

Sylvie,

Yes, completely hypothetical. I'm still on birth control. I'm fairly certain George doesn't want anymore. I don't think he ever wanted the first two. I think he was trying to force his first signs of magic. Matthew's shown his and Joshua is (very obviously) jealous.

Ungrateful?! Didn't I just say I'd probably take you up on the offer one day? That's not ungrateful. And who said anything about a dirty weekend? I wish! I have to eat about five whole pineapples before George will even agree to go down on me....

Just wondering. How opposed to blind dates are you?

Love,
Lav

[Sylvie Robards]

Lav,

Oh, sweetie - I'm sorry! But if you haven't talked to him yet, you don't know that for sure. A lot of problems and misunderstandings can be cleared up by a simple conversation. You never know, he might want another!

You also said I was evil and made rather blatant use of sarcasm... That's too much information, Lavinia, and also a lot of fibre.

Lav, no. I'm not desperate. I can't say it's something I've ever really tried before. Why?

Love, Sylvie xxx

[Lavinia Hewer]

Sylvie,

There's no need to be sorry! I plan on bringing it up to him at some point - though I doubt it'll be able to be resolved in one conversation, which is fine.

Do you enjoy psychoanalyzing my speech? I'm the queen of TMI, didn't you know?

You ask "why?" a lot. But, if you must know, I was thinking about setting you up on a date with someone. Not sure who - or when - but I'm going to keep my eye out. You deserve someone special.

Love,
Lav

[Sylvie Robards]

Lav,

I enjoy psychoanalysing everything: I'm a psychotherapist, remember. And yes, I'd noticed, over the years... I've been scarred for life by some of the things you've over-shared.

'Why?' is a good question to ask in any situation. Lav, I'm twenty-five, not forty-five. I can get my own dates, I'm sure most of the time. But thank-you for the sentiment the 'you deserve someone nice bit', not the implication that I can't manage it myself Aren't blind dates generally deemed to be a little bit horrific?

Love, Sylvie xxx

PS- I found a couple of bouncy balls down the side of my sofa. I presume they're your kids'? I've attached them anyway.

[Lavinia Hewer]

Sylvie,

But don't you ever tire of psychoanalyzing everything? It must be exhausting. Good thing I never told you about that BDSM threesome then.

Kidding! There was no BDSM threesome. Just a threesome.... You know I only say these things because I know it makes you uncomfortable, right?

Ah, perhaps, but there have to be situations in which the question "why?" is more of a hindrance than anything else.

I'm just trying to be a good sister. I know you can get your own dates, but there's nothing wrong with accepting help, is there? No, there's not or else you wouldn't have a job. Blind dates are... well, you're the psychologist! But, really, that's such a stereotype. Aren't psychologists meant to be open and understanding and accepting and all of that other bullshit sort of stuff?

Oooh, thank you for the bouncy balls! Shit. Joshy just wailed Matthew in the head with one. I have to go!

Love,
Lav

[Sylvie Robards]

Lav,

In the immortal words of our grandmother, you're a brazen hussy, Lavinia Robards Hewer.

I still think 'why' is useful, particularly in this situation. I don't help people to get dates as my job, so that's an irrelevant point and you know it. If you can think of somebody off of the top of your head, then I'll consider it. If not, then no thank-you, still. I don't want you scouring your address book for desperate bachelors. I am open and understanding and all that bullshit (you didn't scribble that out very well!), that doesn't mean I want to go on blind dates.

Oh no! I hope Matthew was okay!

Love, Sylvie xxx

[Lavinia Hewer]

Sylvie,

Here, here!

It is not an irrelevant point. You know I'm right and you just don't want to admit it. I can most certainly think of someone off the top of my head. Would you have any interest in one of George's brothers? I can't believe I just asked, but, well... there it is. God, Sylvie, can you stop being so stubborn for once? Let me help you for a change.

He's alright. Nothing that a little magic and a nap with Mummy couldn't fix.

Love,
Lav

[Sylvie Robards]

Lav,

What? Where are you?

Fine, one date and that's it. You stop hassling me about it, deal? But I thought you hated George's family? I think of some rather choice descriptors you've used for them in the past... Which brother, and does he even want a date?

Love,
Sylvie xxx

[Lavinia Hewer]

Sylvie,

I'm at home? I was saluting the brazen hussy comment.

THANK YOU. You will not regret this, I promise. And if you go on one date - the one I set you up on - I won't hassle you again for a while.

Yeah, George's brothers are - just don't get me started. I don't know why I said that. I'll see if Charles is up for a date, but I'm not sure he's that type of guy. We'll find out.

Love,
Lav