Jethro,

[Saoirse Flynn]

Jethro,

I just had a letter from your Uncle Kaius. Apparently you 'practically don't need to work'. Care to explain? Because, you know, I thought we'd done the whole scary family secrets thing, and then it suddenly seems like you own half of England and you grew up in a manor and oh, did I mention, you don't need to work.

I'm not after your bloody money, you can pass that on to your uncle as well.

Saoirse.

[Jethro Hunter]

Saoirse,

Fuck That fucking cunt

Oh, Merlin. Look, for one thing, he's exaggerating if that quote was actually from him. I don't love my job so much that I'd be doing it if I didn't need to. Yes, I own a lot of money and a large house. That doesn't suddenly make me a different person. I didn't actually think I'd hidden it from you that I was reasonably rich - it's just not the sort of thing I like forcing down people's throats. And as far as I'm concerned, the house belongs to my mother for as long as she lives.

I'm sorry if you feel like I was keeping more secrets - I wasn't, you just never asked, so I'd have felt like I was bragging or something by talking about it. I don't know what else to say. I'd give you all my bloody money if you wanted it, but I never for one second thought you might be after it, and if my uncle suggested that, I'll put him straight. He's a manipulative bastard who knows exactly what he's doing, Saoirse - so don't let him do it, please.

Does it really matter? I'm still me, and I still love you.

Jethro

[Saoirse Flynn]

Jethro,

Of course that quote was from him, I don't make these things up for fun! He may have said 'hardly' instead of 'practically'.

I'm sorry I over-reacted, it's just, we never had any money at all, and I know it's irrational, but I don't think I can make you understand now it just wasn't something I was expecting, is all. Please reassure him that I'm not some gold-digging floozie though, I mean, he was very polite, but, well, you know.

I love you too,
Saoirse

[Jethro Hunter]

Saoirse,

Okay, honestly? I have a lot of money. It'd soon turn into a lot less money if I lived solely off it though. My mother has to live off it too. I don't take much notice of it most of the time. It just sits there in Gringotts. It's no more than most of the old purebloods have - it just happens that I was my father's only heir, so I got it all. I'd rather have my dad, to be quite honest.

He's always polite. It's his speciality. He was the one who was digging - he's trying to find out about you because I would only give him the barest basics, because it's none of his business.


All my love,

Jethro

[Saoirse Flynn]

Jethro,

Thank-you for being honest, I'm sorry I've discovered a new tendency to freak out overly easily - I hope it's temporary. It probably will be unless the next thing you tell me if that you're actually minor royalty

And thank-you for saying that it's none of his business. I don't know why that seems important, but it does.

Love, Saoirse xxx

[Jethro Hunter]

Saoirse,

No, I'm sorry. I should have told you, and I know everything I told you the other day was a lot to deal with. To be honest, I'm just hugely grateful you're still here after it all. And then my uncle writing to you on top of that. If I didn't know him so well, I wouldn't believe him doing that. But it's typical Kaius. He can't stand not knowing things. I'm glad he wasn't completely awful to you though.

Well, it isn't. He doesn't have the right to tell me what to do with my life - he's only even my uncle by marriage, whatever he's done for me and my mother.

Love, Jethro

[Saoirse Flynn]

Jethro,

Of course I'm still here - I love you remember, silly. And now we've got no more secrets, well, no more big ones at least. Nothing more major than embarrassing childhood stories and the location of my secret bar of Honeydukes chocolate - even Ian doesn't know where that it, and he lives with me, so...

I think this letter has the potential to turn into a smushy love letter, so I'll just finishit here for now,

Lots of love,
Saoirse xxx

[Jethro Hunter]

Saoirse,

I do remember, doesn't stop me being grateful for it.

Just had a thought on the whole 'no more secrets' thing. Because there's one other thing I haven't told you, though compared to all the rest of the shit, it probably won't faze you too much to know that I'm an Animagus. But you probably ought to know. If we're having no more secrets. Not that it's really a secret, I just don't really talk about it.

In exchange for that one, will you let me in on the location of the Honeydukes bar? I promise not to steal it...

Yes, we definitely wouldn't want to stray into writing smushy love letters. We might not get out again.

Love, Jethro

[Saoirse Flynn]

Jethro,

Crikey, I wasn't expecting that! Is that why you have the tattoo of the bird thing? What animal? That's less shitty than the rest of the shit, you're right, and so accordingly less scary unnerving.

The Honeydukes bar is in the airing cupboard, on the top shelf under the spare pink towels that neither me or Ian like. It has an invisiblity spell on it too. If it goes missing, I now know who to blame, you realise...

Imagine being stuck in smush-land forever. It'd be like dying in Madame Puddifoot's...

Love, Saoirse xx

[Jethro Hunter]

Saoirse,

No, well I like to keep these little surprises (don't worry, that's the last one). I'm a peregrine falcon - nice and macho and cool, isn't it? I'm glad you're not too unnerved by it - some people get freaked out.

Wow, you really do guard it well, don't you? But bear in mind that what could also have happened (if it disappears) is that Ian realised he'd put all his towels in the wash and was forced to use a pink one, and thus discovered it. It wouldn't have to be me...

Depends on the quality of the smush. Ours is good stuff; it ends in sex. We couldn't have sex in Madam Puddifoot's; we'd get thrown out. I've never actually been in there anyway; my only impression of it is the window display, which is bad enough.

Love, Jethro

[Saoirse Flynn]

Jethro,

Okay, I did have to go look at the book of wildlife-y stuff that's on the bar bookcase to know anything about Peregrine Falcons apart from the fact that they're birds, and vaguely what they look like in the form of a tattoo. But as far as things-to-change-into-instead-of-a-human go, it's pretty decent. Better than a bunny rabbit (though maybe that would indicate sexual prowess or something?) any day! Also, I'll assume that you know that Peregrines are 'sexually dimorphic, females being considerably larger than males' - if I was a bird, I could so take you in a fight...

Ian never puts all his towels in the wash, I'm safe, don't worry! Besides, he wouldn't use all the pink ones at once - it takes a while to reach crisis point! So, sorry mister, but I'll blame you!

That is a valid point, I will keep being smushy if it's keeps ending in sex... oh, Merlin - I bet we'd be attacked by a cherub or something! You should be very grateful that you've never been in there: I have, it scarred me. For life. Boys aren't supposed to insist on going somewhere like that on Valentines' Day! That was meant to be my job, and I didn't want to go! Needless to say, the relationship broke up soon after...

Love, Saoirse xxx

[Jethro Hunter]

Saoirse,

Well, if there's anything else you ever want to know about them, I can probably tell you more than a book... I'll give you a look at one close up some time. And I feel like a rabbit might indicate promiscuity, not necessarily prowess - I don't think there's much evidence that the poor females enjoy the experience. Come to think of it, Xander's form would probably be a rabbit.

Thank you for that information. Luckily, you're not a bird, though you'd still be quite a lot larger than me when I transform.

Oh well, I'll just have to make sure that it never disappears, won't I? Or at least that if it does, it gets replaced before you notice.

But please let's keep the smush out of letters sent while I'm at work... Because they just turn into dirty letters and I get distracted. Not that that's a bad thing, but I don't think I'd get away with walking out early too often.

Okay, how about this for a promise? I will never make you go to Madam Puddifoot's for Valentine's Day...

Love, Jethro

[Saoirse Flynn]

Dear Jethro,

Wow. I can't quite get over the fact that you can turn into a bird at will. How long did it take you to get the hang of it and learn how to do it and all of that? Was it really hard? Why did you want to do it?

Sorry, too many questions? Feel free to ignore some!

Ha, Xander Hawkley? Totally. I might tell him that next time he's hitting on poor unsuspecting women in my pub... Speaking of which, how's Muirin? If I'm that much bigger, then I could still take you in a fight, ha! Although I've no idea why I would either be physically fighting with a) you, or b) a bird.

I'll go with replaced before I notice, I'm happy to compromise. Speaking of which, I think we ought to compromise on just occasional smush in letters. Because I think you could probably skive off early once a month to have sex with me if I'm not manning the bar at the Three B's.

That is a wonderful promise, affirming of all the reasons that I love you. Thank-you.

Saoirse xxxx