JACK HEWER

[Emily Marsdon]

Jack, you cock. You can't ignore me forever, okay? Soon, term will start again, and I will STALK you round school until you talk to me.

I'm not even going to say anything except congratulations, and I hope you had as lovely a time as she seems to have done.

Also, if you don't write back, I'm not inviting you to my wedding. Aislinn will get an invitation without a plus one.

You can even talk about something entirely different if you want, like your holiday to Spain (if you had one) or dragons or whatever. But don't ignore me, it hurts.

Love, Emily x

[Jack Hewer]

Dear Emily,

I'm only dignifying this letter with a response to stop you stalking me. I had a wonderful time, thank you, not that it's any of your business, and I don't want to come to your wedding anyway because if I do I will have nightmares about you and Digger being all over each other for the rest of my life and I do not need that.

I didn't have a holiday to Spain. Did you have a holiday to Spain?

Love from,
Jack xxx

[Emily Marsdon]

Dear Jack,

You're always so gorgeously dignified, I love it. And that was the idea of the stalking threat, my lovely.

Do you refuse to go to anyone's wedding because you know you won't be able to help imagining them all over each other afterwards? I think you ought to see someone about that.

Oh, that's a shame. No, I didn't. Did you go anywhere at all or just chill out? Can't believe it's August already! It'll be September before we know it!

Love Emily xxx