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Post by Dominique Weasley on Jul 31, 2012 8:15:27 GMT -5
Victoire Fucking Weasley,
You know what's hilarious? The fact that I haven't heard from you all summer. And do you know what's even more hilarious? The fact that you're my sister, my older sister, and you're supposed to love me loads and send me presents at any chance you can get. YOU ARE NOT BEHAVING APPROPRIATELY FOR AN OLDER SISTER. FIX IT. NOW. OR I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Lots of love,
Dom.
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Post by Victoire Weasley on Jul 31, 2012 8:28:09 GMT -5
Dear Dom the Charmer,
Really, could it kill you to be a little politer to your long-lost sister? Like an "Excuse me, Victoire, when will you be returning home I love you, you are my favorite sibling." I mean, that would have sufficed. So vulgar.
And I do love you loads! Where did you get the presents idea? Unless it's your birthday or Christmas, I don't think I remember ever showering you with gifts. How about the gift of my love and presence? Isn't that enough?
I know, I know. I fell off the face of the earth. I was getting things sorted. But, guess who made their fabulous return to London? Me. That's right I am back in town and you know you want to see your favorite sister. We could do sisterly things that don't involve presents.
Lots more love,
Vic
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Post by Dominique Weasley on Jul 31, 2012 8:34:23 GMT -5
Dear Vicky the Terrible Big Sister,
Polite? And me? You really have been away for far too long. Have you forgotten what I'm like? I bet you can barely remember Lou. I told him that you'd forget about us. Now I suppose I'm right. Refresher: Dominique Weasley, Vulgar Mega-Bitch. Dominique Weasley, not polite at all. Jogging your memory any?
EXACTLY. YOU NEVER SHOWER ME WITH GIFTS. You need to make up for that. You were in France! Where are the chocolates, the rings, the t-shirts, the CDs? Who goes to France and doesn't shop until they drop and nab their sister lovely stuff? And no. Your presence gives me a headache. Obviously not enough.
You're back. Jesus. Maman will be pleased.
Alright, then. We could go for coffee, I suppose? Your treat, of course.
Lots of love,
Dom.
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Post by Victoire Weasley on Jul 31, 2012 8:46:33 GMT -5
Dear Dom the Demanding Little Sister,
Oh right. How on earth could I forget such a thing? Why would you say such a thing to Lou. It's nearly impossible to forget you two...Oh hm, let me think. Nope, sorry, not ringing any bells. Is she the short one?
I only shower in gifts if you shower back! But you don't. So, I'm not the only bad sibling here. And who is to say I didn't shop while in France? I could have gotten something for you and Lou, but someone didn't ask very nicely. I'm still waiting for that please. Else, I'm withholding your gift. Plus you say I give you headaches, not exactly motivation for gift-giving.
Of course, always my treat. Coffee is good. How is Lou doing?
Love
Vic
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Post by Dominique Weasley on Jul 31, 2012 8:59:21 GMT -5
Dear Vicky the Icky,
I should certainly hope it's impossible to forget me. No, she's the unbelievably fit one that everyone loves. God. Get it right.
I have no money to buy gifts, and I don't have a job. You have a job, therefore you have money, therefore you should be the one buying the gifts. Obviously. When I'm older I'll return the favour. Probably. You'll be waiting a long time for me to say the P word. And if you give a gift to Lou and not to me, I'll just steal Lou's.
Coffee is the best. Nothing can mess with coffee. There's a pretty sweet coffee shop in London. Lou? I think he's okay. Ask him yourself - it's not like I go around babysitting him.
Love,
Dom.
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Post by Victoire Weasley on Jul 31, 2012 9:18:08 GMT -5
Dear Dom Who Needs to Stop Insulting the Gift Holder,
Unbelievably fit that everyone loves? You know, I think I have been away too long. That or I've been living with the wrong sister all this time...
I'm not too fond of the circumstances. No summer job? Also, that probably is not reassuring. When you get a first pay check, I expect coffee on you first thing. Just saying. Steal Lou's? Well, I guess I'll have to warn him about that. I'm still getting a please from you. It's a shame too, because this might be one of my better gifts...
I actually agree with you there. Coffee is a gift from god. Perfect. When do you want to go?
Again, how silly of me to ask the status of our little brother.
Love
Vic
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