Post by Lara Archer on Jul 12, 2012 1:25:22 GMT -5
| [atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 460px; background-image: url(http://i44.tinypic.com/34fb0ns.jpg);-moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; -webkit-border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; border: 4px ridge #7a9aa9, bTable][tr][cs=2] sam connor stanley. eighteen. business employee. louis tomlinson. | |
[rs=2] | Right, I guess we should start at the very beginning? A very good place to start, as the lovely Julie Andrews was fond of saying. Damn, there’s a woman. Well, when she was younger, anyhow. Okay, wait, back on track! Let me introduce myself. My name is Sam Stanley (technically, Samuel Connor Stanley, if we’re going by my birth certificate) and I am the third of four children. My elder sister Suzie has undoubtedly given you our parents’ backstory, and knowing my baby sister Faye she’ll have done so too, so I’m not going to bore you with that all over again. The important things to know are that my dad is a halfblood wizard who works in the Wizengamot (I know, I know, dead exciting, right?) and my mum is a Muggle who is currently the headteacher of a super posh private school where the girls are all totally up themselves and pretend they would never dream of sleeping with the headmistress’ son, although I’ve proved a few of them otherwise. So, yeah, that’s my parents. My grandparents are a bit different – my dad’s dad was a Muggleborn killed in the Second War, so he was totally a hero, and my dad’s mum is a pureblood witch who’s cool nonetheless and doesn’t give a stuff about anybody’s blood type. She’s dead cool, my gran, I love her to bits. My mum’s parents are a bit strict and religious and I rather get the feeling they don’t approve of me or Suzie, but if you don’t have anyone disapproving of you then you’re doing something wrong with your life, right? I reckon it’s because of them that Mum was so keen on us all going to church – don’t worry, I stopped going as soon as I could manage to talk my way out of it. Their other daughter, my aunt Lauren, is a total babe who always brings us presents from wherever she’s been travelling and is just about the coolest woman on the planet, period. Now, more about me. I was apparently an accidental baby, which doesn’t particularly bother me – my whole life I’ve been places I shouldn’t, so I guess I just started where I meant to go on, right? Anyway, by all accounts, I was a pretty frightful baby. I took forever to learn to sleep through the night and I had a predilection for screaming until somebody would come and pick me up and give me a cuddle. Apparently Suzie was the most willing volunteer for that task, which is probably the reason she’s my favourite sibling. I wouldn’t dream of telling Toby or Faye this, obviously, but come on – Suzie is ridiculously awesome and what little kid doesn’t love the sister that is willing to snuggle with them any hour of the day or night? From what my parents and grandparents say, I rather get the feeling that growing up, I was a little bit of a problem child. I’m proud to say that I wasn’t anywhere near as bad as they make Suzie sound, but I was perfectly rebellious and I had this issue with refusing to be serious about anything. I’m delighted to announce that both of these traits have remained with me even through into adulthood. Suzie and I used to get into all sorts of trouble together (I blame her, she blatantly led me astray) and most of my earliest childhood memories are of the two of us being punished together for being naughty. I was only four when my brother Toby went off to Hogwarts, so I don’t really recall him ever actually being around the house. Suzie disappearing three years later was a bigger blow, and despite her regular letters it was tough being the only really naughty one left in the house since Mum and Dad were much more up-together about my behaviour. Silly parents. I did my best to lead Faye astray but she was a lost cause – I’d just left it too long to corrupt her, the fool that I am. It was fine when Suzie was back in the holidays but as soon as she was gone, bam, it was like Alcatraz in that place. (Okay, I might be exaggerating slightly, I do that sometimes.) The next few years are kind of dull, so I’ll gloss over them for you. All you need to know is that I was in trouble a lot, and I missed Suzie, and I was really, really excited for when I got to go to Hogwarts. When that day finally arrived, far later than I’d have liked, I was somewhat mortified to be sorted into Gryffindor and not Slytherin like Suzanne. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Gryffindor’s a great house and these days I’m thrilled to have been in it, but I’d always thought me and Suzie were so similar and to be sorted away from her was a bit horrifying. Nonetheless, I did my best to settle in, and I made plenty of friends, and got about twelve letters a term from that point onwards sent home to announce that I’d been misbehaving. Nothing serious, you understand, just the odd prank here or there and a total inability to remember to do homework on time. I got on well with my Head of House and he was a dude at getting us out of trouble with the other teachers, but I still had to suck up a bunch of detentions and whatnot. I still got to hang out with Suzie a whole bunch, even as the years went on and she started changing a lot. She started wearing all white and black which was totally dull but, you know, self-expression and all that. She also insisted that everybody call her “Zanna” but frankly I have been calling her Suzie since the day I started talking and I shall go to my grave calling her Suzie and she can be as threatening as she likes, I shan’t do anything about it. In the holidays she didn’t seem to want to be around the rest of the family much but she still talked to me loads so that was totally cool – it meant I had more time to wind up Toby and tease Faye. I love my siblings, but their reactions are just so priceless, I can’t resist it. I get called “easy-going” a lot (I think that’s a good thing?) because I can make the best out of any situation. So basically if I got to spend loads of time with Suzie, then that was awesome and we’d have loads of fun. But if she was busy doing private things then I could hang out with Faye and the Tobester and have almost as good a time. I had a perfectly great time at Hogwarts – I never did particularly amazingly in class, although several teachers told me I was a marvellous essay-writer – and I’ve graduated with enough OWLs and NEWTs for me to look for a decent job. I did pull my finger out and do some studying for them, you see, but promise not to tell anyone? Outside of lessons, though, I like to think I lived life to the maximumus, as Catullus once said. (No, I’m lying, I made that up.) I had plenty of friends, played Quidditch for a couple of years before deciding to focus on my mischief-making instead, had a couple of little hook-ups in third year before deciding to get more serious about girls in fourth year. I got my first (and so far only) serious girlfriend in fifth year and lost my virginity to her about six months later. I sort of loved her, you know? She was great, about as opposite to any of the other girls I knew as you could possibly imagine. But things fell apart in seventh year, stress of the future and stuff, and we’re still friends these days, although admittedly it’s incredibly awkward. I’m glad she was my first though, couldn’t have done better in that respect. I date on and off these days, but I haven’t found anybody right so far. I left Hogwarts last year and without any hesitation decided to move to Bristol to live near my favourite sister Suzie, who at the time had just started up a little paper which was both brilliant and slightly terrifying, if only because I hadn’t realised up until I read the first issue quite how scarily clever Suzanne was. I thought about asking her if I could work with her, but frankly I thought working together might cause far too many arguments, so instead I took a flat near Park Street, a much, much nicer part of town and got a job in a coffee shop and a night club to pay the bills while I look for somewhere better to work. I’m dead employable, me, even if I’m not great at the urgency thing. I bring lots of customers in because I’m friendly and stuff and it works in my favour because I usually get a couple of fit girls’ numbers. Especially the drunk ones at the night club – they come on to bartenders so strong, man! I try to resist giving them free drinks, but some of them are so good-looking I just can’t resist. Don’t worry, though, I’m looking elsewhere for a better job – shit, that reminds me! I’ve got an interview at a film production place in half an hour! I’d better go, I need to shower. Thanks for listening to me ramble, man, hopefully we’ll be seeing more of each other very soon. |
boobs. minus 40. none. mars. |
I'M SORRY I'VE BECOME THE ONE DIRECTION FREAK I HONESTLY NEVER MEANT TO BE.
