Aggy Fucking Bass

[Aggy Bass]

Oh, fist pumping right now! I haven't seen Cam in ages either... and Chloe's a bit down in the dumps. I mean, he dumped her. Of course she is. ((OOC: I actually don't know what happened there sorry!))

(Ughh, fine!) And I am Aggy fucking Bass and I am awesome but that is a vast lie! I never plant dirty seeds. My seeds are always perfectly clean.

Oh... hush!

SHHHHHH!

Love,
Aggy

P.S. I'm so fantastically smart and witty. I caught you out!

P.P.S. Yes, I am perfectly happy, milord!

[Kaycee O'Malley]

Oh, you're fist-pumping now, almost four years later. What an achievement. Bleh. I don't really want to visit Chloe because Cam might think I'm taking her side, which I'm not because I don't even know what they fought about considering Cam's shut up shop and he only told me they broke up right before disappearing. Can you check on her for me? I miss her and want her to be okay.

(Talking of which, I'll Apparate over soon. Probably tomorrow. Or maybe next week. At my soonest convenience when I'm not drunk or hungover.) What's the point of planting clean seeds when they're just gonna get dirty anyway?

Lips forever sealed. Actually, scratch that. Lips forever open because Lance is pulling another drink over. Who the fuck is this guy in my brother's body? Because the Lance I know is so prim and proper and completely lady-like. Maybe he doesn't know how many I've drunk. Maybe I should have told him I had a huge headstart on my congratulations celebration.


Blah,
Kaycee

PS. Wow.
PPS. And with that, I bid you adieu, darling. I'll owl you about the dinner date.

[Aggy Bass]

Oh... hush, you! There's no sides, I don't think... I don't really know what went down. I'm out of the loop. I need to get Roxie to tell me what's going on. But yeah, I'll check up on her for me. Do you want me to give her a message? (That sounds like I'm threatening her.)

(Okay, cool. Wait! You're convenient now and you said you weren't drunk. Kaycee, are you hungover?)

AH! A METAPHOR! I GET IT!

You said you weren't drinking! Liar, liar, pants on fire. Send Lance my love. And why wasn't I invited to this celebration?

Kisses on the cheek and cuddles,
Aggy

P.S. I assume you're too drunk to answer me now so bonjour, gorgeous!

[Kaycee O'Malley]

Because Lance is in the bathroom, vomiting, the lightweight
Because I couldn't resist one more reply

I'll talk about Chloe when I can think about talking about Chloe. Okay.

No no, not hungover yet. That's prolly the word I'd use for tomorrow morning.

Good job, lovely, but I think you'll have to explain to me some other time exactly what metafore metaphor you got.

I know. I'm growing devil horns, but my pants aren't on fire yet. I'll tell him if I remember. And sorry, loves, family selbr celbr party thing. Bro thing.

That's still gross.
Kaycee

PS. Really now, Lance'll be back in a min so auf weeder wider ah fuck it, can't spell in German. Bye lovely.

[Aggy Bass]

You honestly can't expect me not to reply! It's like telling a kid not to eat cake you've left on the table... they have to eat it.

Is your nose growing longer by any chance? Thank you for relaying the message. Right, well... when you actually have a proper party then be sure to invite me, handsome!

Love,
Aggy

P.S. Turn up on my doorway hungover and my mother will hate you. Even when you're sober you can't spell in German. Bye bye!