PEREIRA [neil]

[Devyn Oberlin]

HEY YOU WITH THE NICE FACE,

I haven't seen you around forever. What the actual fuck is up with you? Don't tell me you've gotten yourself another girlfriend. Like that worked out brilliantly the last time.

Anyways, I'm bored. One could even say that I miss you, if that's even remotely possible, considering you might qualify as one of the biggest assholes I know.

xoxo Devyn

P.S. Oh, and you fucking graduate in a few weeks. How the hell are you that old already? We need to do something before exams, alright?

[Neil Pereira]

YES YOU WITH THE HOT LEGS,

I know. I have to give NEWTs. Ew. And no, single and loving it. I have been fucking around a lot though, but that's not new. I'm attempting to study so I somehow pass seventh year. Wow, that's felt weird to even write down. Speaking of which, why am I writing and not hollering this up your dorm corridor?

Gee, I really feel the love. It breaks my heart. But I miss you too, just so you know and next time I see you, I'm going to give you a hug and since I'm much taller, you can't stop me.

"xoxox?"
Neil

PS: Don't ask. I barely celebrated my birthday. What a shame. Okay, what do you have in mind Ms. I have to give OWLs too?

[Devyn Oberlin]

WOW I'M FLATTERED, EXCEPT NOT REALLY BECAUSE YOU SEEM TO BE ADOPTING PICK UP LINES FROM FRITZ TOWLER,

Can you let me know if NEWTs end up killing you? That's a serious dilemma in my life at the moment, figuring out whether I'll make it out alive or not when I'm in seventh year... Well, I guess you won't be able to tell me about it if you actually die via exams, but I'll just find out if you die. However your death will haunt me forever because I will never be sure if it was the exams or the extreme alcoholism that got you in the end.

Let's be simple about this, you're welcome in my dorm corridor or dorm anytime. Oh, and who exactly have you been fucking around with? Judging you so hard if it's another Hufflepuff - trust me, it'll never end well. Too many feelings.

But that makes us even because you're always breaking my heart. (: Nonetheless, you will not hug me, okay? I'll kill you if you try.

xoxoxoxxxxxxx!!!

Devyn

P.S. You're such an old man now, sucks to be you. Uhm, I dunno, I've been so out of it lately. Maybe we should just put together a fifth and seventh year "let's-not-give-a-fuck-about-our-upcoming-owls-and-newts" party? No sixth years allowed. I fucking hate sixth years.

[Neil Pereira]

AS IF I NEED TO TAKE PICK UP LINES FROM TOWLER AND IT WASN'T EVEN A PICK UP LINE, TO BE HONEST.

I don't think they will. I'm doing decent-ish. Oh psh, you will. Even if you threaten your way out of all these monstrous classes, you'll survive. Don't worry, I'm not going to let something pointless as exams bring me down. Do you know how pathetic that would look on a gravestone? I'm going to die a cool death. And besides, alcohol is like water to me now and nobody has died because of too much water as far as I know, so alcohol won't be it.

Okay, I'm taking up that offer soon. And no, no more Hufflepuffs for me, thanks. It's a Ravenclaw, actually. And we're not fucking around, exactly. One time doesn't count as 'fucking around'. Although the blonde barmaid who works weekend shifts at the Three Broomsticks would think differently.

I can be very sneaky and I can get a hug out of you. Trust me.

xoxoxo to you too.

Neil

Okay chuck PS. I'm eighteen, it ain't old. I'm completely up for something like that! And yes, no sixth years, please. I don't think I could stand that. Where do we have this celebration exactly?

Neil

[Devyn Oberlin]

WOW, YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD GUY,

Decent-ish? Never realized that that’s an actual classification of an exam mark. But okay, if you say so. I won’t threaten my way out of these classes, I need to pass these classes with O’s.

You probably just jinxed it, and now you are going to die of alcohol. And I’ll laugh.

A Ravenclaw? Really? I’m impressed. I was half expecting you to go insane after the drama with what’s-her-face went down and just chase after a bunch of Gryffindors, in which case you’d be even more pathetic than you already are. Oh, and one time definitely counts as fucking around.

I DARE YOU TO TRY.

I’m feeling the love here.

Yeah, but I’m sixteen, so to me you’re pretty old. Ha, yes, you get me. Sixth years are the worst. Room of Requirement?

Devyn

[Neil Pereira]

AM NOT YOU GOODY MISS TWO SHOES,

Decent-ish --> Between A and O. I'm passing. So do I, actually, if I'm ever going to get a decent job. It isn't fair to make Billy Boy and my sis pay rent once we're out of here.

I did not, please. Of all the things I could die of, alcohol poisoning is not one of them. But if it is, I'm putting you in charge of making my funeral as fun as possible, okay? Have it in a strip club. It will be a nice tribute.

Yep, and it was purely a one time thing, let me tell you. Apart from that, a couple of muggles from around my town and that new waitress at the Three Broomsticks. Excuse me, but I do not chase after anybody. And it does not.

I'll do it. What do I get as prize?

I LOVE YOU OBERLIN, MY SNUGGLY SNOOGUMS. Feeling it yet?

Two years older becomes too old only when you're 38 and I'm 40, okay?! Sounds brilliant. Let's do this.

Neil

[Devyn Oberlin]

YES YOU ARE, YOU COMPLETELY INNOCENT VIRGIN,

What job are you thinking of getting yourself into?

Strip club. Okay. Got it. Who should I be inviting, other than my own fabulous self?

That might be the dumbest thing I've ever heard - of course you chase after people. You don't fool me.

I don't have anything to offer you as a prize, actually.

YOU'RE A DICK.

Wait, so we're planning on making it to being that old? Well fuck.

When do you want this shit to go down? You're the genius here. Not

Devyn