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Post by Fritz Towler on Apr 8, 2012 21:40:44 GMT -5
Yo, Dev, what's up, my girl?
Kind of toasted right now. And toasty, I'm sitting in front of a fire. At least, I think it's a fire... Oh, wait, no, it's just my lighter. Fifth blunt in a row, yowza. But I'm switching to brownies after this 'cause it's just easier. My hands feel heavy and I can't
Sorry. Dropped my lighter. There's a hole in the couch. Know what else has a hole? You. And I have the purrfect thing to fit nice n snug in it. Just put out already will you?
Since I'm stoned out of my fucking mind, I'm watching Wizard of Oz whilst listening to Dark Side of the Moon. Fucking righteous, dude. You should come over and watch/listen with me. It'll be better. I have brownies - did I already mention that? I'm sure I got some good liquor, too. What's your poison?
Hey. there's this joke. 'Liquor? I don't even know her!' But I just want to let you know, I'd totally lick you. Everywhere.
Peace out guurrlll,
Fritz
((ooc: okay, sorry for some of the crudeness, lmfao. and pretend that this isn't so grammatically correct and shiz. i'm just too lazy to make it look like a high person wrote it.))
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Devyn Oberlin
 
Sixth Year Prefect
Played by Hope
she was afraid of falling so she stepped on everyone else
Posts: 2,795
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Post by Devyn Oberlin on Apr 8, 2012 21:56:00 GMT -5
Towler,
I'd waste my time and ask what the hell is wrong with you, but since it's already apparent that you're baked out of your mind, I'll just spend that saved time just thinking about how fucking dumb you are.
Congratulations on dropping your lighter - fingers crossed that it somehow ends up setting you and your house on fire. Is subtlety even a thing anymore? I don't care how high you are. You can fuck right off.
How's Wizard of Oz treating you? I assure you I'd make every effort to be there, except wait a second, wow, I really wouldn't because it's you and you're a fucking dick. So just enjoy it on your own, yeah?
Speaking of jokes, I heard one the other day - I was at this party and someone happened to say your name, just your first and last name, and everyone laughed. That's it. That's the joke. I'm sure you'll appreciate it much more when you're not intoxicated, so don't bother writing back to me until then. Actually, don't bother writing back at all.
Sincerely,
Fuck Off I'm Never Shagging You. (:
(OOC - omfg no worries, it's actually perf, hahaha.)
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Post by Fritz Towler on Apr 9, 2012 19:33:09 GMT -5
DEVVY WEVVY
Have you figured out how dumb I am yet? I assure you it's not much as you think. I can be smart when I wanna be. How can I prove it to you?
I'll fuck off on you, how about that? Open your mouth wide, Dev. I get the feeling you'd rather swallow. So hott.
Wizard of Oz is fucking awesome. You'd make a good Dorothy. You'd look fucking hot in those pigtails and ruby red slippers. Talk about my schoolgirl dream - much better than the uniforms at school. I'd take you over my knee. I'm enjoying the movie more now with those thoughts of you.
But you should really come over. Then I can say 'I'm glad you came'. CAME. Do you get it? You know you want to come with me, Dev. We'll be EXPLOSIVE. Hahaha
HA. That's some funny joke, you know. You fucking kill me, Dev. Did you know that, in french, the metaphor for an orgasm is 'la petite mort'? The little death. And you're KILLING ME. Funny shit, yeah? Except not. Because you won't fucking put out, prude.
- Fritz
P.S. I will write you all the fuck I want.
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Devyn Oberlin
Sixth Year Prefect
Played by Hope
she was afraid of falling so she stepped on everyone else
Posts: 2,795
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Post by Devyn Oberlin on Apr 9, 2012 20:09:16 GMT -5
Whore,
Extremely dumb, like 'why am I even writing back to you?' dumb like 'why are you an actual person that exists in the world?' dumb. Oh, and is that a real challenge you're getting yourself into? Because there's no way in the universe you can ever prove it to me.
I'd never actually realized that you're so sexually frustrated over me. This is good information to have for future blackmailing reference. We'll have a polite conversation or two about this when holidays are over. And by 'polite conversation' I mean I'm going to fucking kill you.
Again with the sexual frustration. Have you not gotten laid in a while, Towler? If I didn't know any better, that's what I'd say. Because you sure are putting a lot of effort trying to have sex with someone who's obviously never going to have sex with you. Tough luck. Try someone different, maybe it'll work out in your favor.
Dumb. So. Fucking. Dumb.
Why are you suddenly quoting French when you're high? But oh yes, you calling me a prude will definitely spark my interest and make me more likely to shag you. Excellent tactics. I'll have to learn from you sometime as your skills of persuasion just keep getting better and better.
Lots of nonexistent love from,
Oh Guess What I'm Still Not Ever Shagging You.
P.S. Go fuck yourself. It definitely sounds like you need to.
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