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Post by Rosa Rodríguez on Mar 31, 2012 4:26:18 GMT -5
I'm assuming this letter will be sent to your mum since you're no longer all sexy in the gorgeous Azkaban prison potato sack and behind bars.
Anyway, I heard you were now free and I'm currently single and completely shag-worthy so you should come over. It'll be a change of pace from dropping the soap to get laid.
Lots of love,
Rosa
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Post by Jake Gullane on Mar 31, 2012 4:50:28 GMT -5
Rosa
Yeah, it got me at my mum's. Thanks for all the kind, understanding sympathy - though I'll have you know, I looked fucking sexy in prison gear.
What the hell? I thought you were engaged. I can't shag another guy's fiancée, Rosa - that's crossing a line!
Love, Jake
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Post by Rosa Rodríguez on Mar 31, 2012 4:55:27 GMT -5
Jake,
Thought so... and I'm sure there's no need to feel sorry for you. I bet you weren't the 'bitch' of the relationship you and your prison boyfriend had.
No... no, that's ended. So come the fuck over here and shag me already, okay? Because I'm currently watching Muggle telly and eating chinese food naked and waiting.
Love,
Rosa
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Post by Jake Gullane on Mar 31, 2012 5:04:44 GMT -5
Rosa,
Hey, there are chicks in Azkaban too - why assume I was shagging blokes? Prison sex is the best, I'm telling you.
Oh... You broke it off? Well, not like I didn't see that coming Have to say, I wondered if you'd make it down the aisle - I never saw you getting married this soon, no offence. Well... I don't know if I have time - my shag diary's pretty full right now. Must be the bad-boy prison appeal. On the other hand, where is 'here'? I'll need to Apparate, Emma's place my Mum's house isn't on the floo network.
Love, Jake
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Post by Rosa Rodríguez on Mar 31, 2012 5:10:28 GMT -5
Jake,
Oh, you weren't? Sorry, I always thought you were a bit on the curious side. I'm sure prison sex is thrilling with all the guards watching and the bars and the dirty floors... sounds delightful, babe.
Yes, I broke it off and no offence taken because neither did I. Rosa Rodríguez, nineteen years old and a blushing bride? Yeah, that was never going to happen. Well, I'm sure you can clear you 'shag-diary' because you and I both know I'm better than any other girl you've got on it.
Here is a flat in London near Whitehall. It's part of that big set of flats on the corner. I'm number 7. Can't wait to see your sexy arse again.
Love,
Rosa
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Post by Jake Gullane on Mar 31, 2012 5:22:54 GMT -5
Rosa,
Yeah, thanks but no thanks. I'll stick to girls. And it's the thrill of the thing - you should try it some time.
He wasn't good enough for you either. I mean, seriously, nice guy and all, but if you're ever going to ditch me as a shag partner, make sure you pick a man who can deal with words longer than three letters.
Well, I reckon I can fit you in, but only if I come over right now. And that's really helpful and specific - a block of flats on a corner near Whitehall. Luckily, I think I know the ones you mean, I had a friend lived there for a bit. So I'll see you soon.
Love, Jake
((OOC - Moth, if you read this, I'm sorry Jake's being mean about Bow! It's just his point of view - he's a Ravenclaw, that's all I can say...))
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Post by Rosa Rodríguez on Mar 31, 2012 5:37:00 GMT -5
Jake,
I've tried it many times, thank you. Just never in a prison. Though I can certainly re-enact that one in the bedroom if you so desire. I'd make for a very sexy prison guard, I'd bet.
He can deal with words longer than three letters... he can say all the swear words you can think of and he does throw around the word 'love' too much. Anyways, definitely not ditching you as a shag partner now. I'm sinking my claws in and never letting go.
Oh, shut up. I don't know the name of it. I only moved in the other day. Yeah, see you soon and then some.
Love,
Rosa
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Post by Jake Gullane on Mar 31, 2012 6:30:57 GMT -5
Rosa,
Well I was talking about prison sex, so I don't know what you were talking about, but you clearly haven't done it. I think I have other fantasies I'd rather re-enact though - prison's a bit 'been there, done that' now - it's got a bit old. Though Azkaban would have been a lot better if the prison guards had been like you, it's true.
Okay, four letters. Though I bet he spells fuck 'fuq.' That's weird though, I never really noticed, but just about every swear word has four letters, doesn't it? As does love. There's a deep philosophical point in there somewhere.
You can sink your claws into me any time you want, gorgeous. In five minutes in fact, when I get there. I'll bring alcohol.
Love, Jake
PS - When I say love, I don't mean it the way Bow meant it...
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Post by Rosa Rodríguez on Mar 31, 2012 7:36:54 GMT -5
Jake,
I forgot I actually had to be smart around you. I meant I've 'been there, done that' with the thrill thing... and an alleyway is just like Azkaban without the whole bars and cell thing. Aw, you didn't like the other prison guards? I'm sure they were sexy with their missing, yellow teeth and one eye.
Who the fuck spells fuck as 'fuq'? That doesn't even make sense. And yeah, it's a bit weird. So does hate. You're right there probably is a 'deep philosophical point' in all these four letter words.
I'll do more than sink my claws in, babe. Fantastic, looking forward to it.
Love,
Rosa
P.S. We needed clarification on that, did we?
P.P.S. When you get this, there's probably no need to reply because you'll already be shagging me and this letter will be pointless.
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