SCORPIUS--

[Cassie Lewis]

Scorpius--

If you see a blue cat running around, DON'T EAT IT! Apparently it's Seb's pillow or some shit - all I know is that he had it at breakfast, I accidentally enchanted it and a fourth year ran after it with a fork and a salt shaker. 

Apparently this doesn't qualify as a letter (fuck you, Nicola I thought it was a fabulous letter, but apparently it's not good enough) and I'm meant to give you some well wishes and inquire about your health, or some shit like that. 

So, uh, you still alive? I hear it's helpful, being alive - saves Rox from being a necrophiliac, I suppose. Less good for the Quidditch team, but whatever. All we have to do to win is get someone unrelated to flash Potter, all good On the note of being a necrophiliac, apparently Peeves told Dom that you've been fucking all over the school. She wasn't impressed - nor am I, that's so unhygienic! Did you think about the poor elves that have to sanitise your sexcapade spots? No, didn't think so. I have clearly been hanging out with Seb too long I cannot believe I just said 'sexcapade' oh my Godric

Uh, hope you don't contract TB, (that's well wishes, right?) and uh… the weather's quite fine today, yeah? Shame we're all stuck inside, today's a bloody good day to fly (though, flying any day is fun). 

Seb's fucking mad, by the way. He keeps proposing when there are girls about that all give me death glares. You'd think he'd learn that he's less likely to get shagged by walking cleavages if they think he's engaged (they're stupid enough to) but nope, he doesn't seem to have thought of that, yet. Actually, that reminds me - next time you see him, remind him that procreation in the library is sacrilege to his books. Hopefully, that'll keep him from doing it in the library. 

Cheers. Many happy returns. Have fun with Rox. Oh, you're legal now, ay? Chlo was talking about it a while ago. Happy belated birthday and jizz. You can have Albus Potter all to yourself as a present - aren't you lucky?! 

___
((ooc: she's mental, I'm sorry.))

[Scorpius Malfoy]

Lewis

Are you high?

Why the fuck would I eat a cat, Seb's pillow or not? And I don't really give a toss who Seb proposes to or shags, so long as I don't have to see him doing either.

Thanks for the birthday wishes - you're only two months late, well done.

Scorpius

PS - Al was saying the other day how much he misses you and wants to talk to you.

[Cassie Lewis]

Can I call you Roxanne's whipping boy if you're calling me Lewis?

Of course not. Where would you get that impression? I'm a good girl that doesn't smoke anything Seb has in his pockets.

I don't know, you felt the desire to have fur in your mouth? Your dormmate is a cannibal, so it's pretty reasonable! Yeah, well, if you find his underwear in some textbook you issue from the library, don't say I didn't warn you.

I don't believe in January, and I was hibernating in February, sorry I was late. My apologies.

Cassie

P. S. How adorable. He should come talk to me, I want to kick him in the shins. You should also prepare for him 'falling' off his broom next match against us.

[Scorpius Malfoy]

Only if I can call you Potter's pet.

Are you under the impression that seeming to be stoned when you're not is a good thing?

You're a weirdo and you make no sense. But apology accepted.

I'm keeping that letter, so that if Al does fall off his broom, I'll be able to prove that it was deliberate and planned sabotage. I doubt if the professors would be too impressed. In fact, I can imagine them penalising Gryffindor quite heavily.

Scorpius