Post by Nellie McGonagall on Mar 5, 2011 23:47:36 GMT -5
Last time I wrote in a diary I was probably twenty years old; and now here I am...
A little ways past twenty, don't care how much Emily swears I'm not getting old.
I'm inserting an eye roll here.
So, this month...emotionally, it's been one of the worst ever. I hate being able to feel everyone around me, emotions. It's killing me. Especially in the same room as Digger and Emily. It's clear they both want one another--why I keep being thrown in the middle is beyond me. Maybe it's my inclination to constantly fix things. She loves him, he loves her...yet, they lie to each other.
I've had to talk them both out of nonesense. Well, just Dig really...a student tried to make off with him. Should've seen poor Diggy...don't tell him I called him Diggy either. Apparently he hates it...but ti's okay.
Azarius has been a bright spot in everything. He's sweet.
Ella, though...Ella Malfoy. She WILL be the Death of me. She's tearing me apart. I know her secret, but I don't know what to do with it. I understand she has bulimia and I hate the reasons she does it, or the fact that she lies to herself about it. I really don't know how i--my visions that's how I found out. We played that stupid game of truth, or whatever. I showed her my scars from my cutting when I was around her age...just to connect, and instead I ended up in Diagon Alley.
Life has been a disaster for me. Andy has been one bright spot, though. I've missed her so much. I told her something though, something i've kept inside forever.
I shouldn't even write it in here....
But no one will touch it, right?
Here we go:
I have a daughter...yes, a daughter. She's twenty three...I gave her up for adoption because of her origins, though. I was ra--assaulted (I can't write it...I really can't say it...) and I just...I couldn't bare to raise her, but Ella--Ella makes me think of her. I just want to know how she's doing...what she's doing...
I'm upsetting myself again...I can't...I have to go write Andromeda, before I do something stupid.
A little ways past twenty, don't care how much Emily swears I'm not getting old.
I'm inserting an eye roll here.
So, this month...emotionally, it's been one of the worst ever. I hate being able to feel everyone around me, emotions. It's killing me. Especially in the same room as Digger and Emily. It's clear they both want one another--why I keep being thrown in the middle is beyond me. Maybe it's my inclination to constantly fix things. She loves him, he loves her...yet, they lie to each other.
I've had to talk them both out of nonesense. Well, just Dig really...a student tried to make off with him. Should've seen poor Diggy...don't tell him I called him Diggy either. Apparently he hates it...but ti's okay.
Azarius has been a bright spot in everything. He's sweet.
Ella, though...Ella Malfoy. She WILL be the Death of me. She's tearing me apart. I know her secret, but I don't know what to do with it. I understand she has bulimia and I hate the reasons she does it, or the fact that she lies to herself about it. I really don't know how i--my visions that's how I found out. We played that stupid game of truth, or whatever. I showed her my scars from my cutting when I was around her age...just to connect, and instead I ended up in Diagon Alley.
Life has been a disaster for me. Andy has been one bright spot, though. I've missed her so much. I told her something though, something i've kept inside forever.
I shouldn't even write it in here....
But no one will touch it, right?
Here we go:
I have a daughter...yes, a daughter. She's twenty three...I gave her up for adoption because of her origins, though. I was ra--assaulted (I can't write it...I really can't say it...) and I just...I couldn't bare to raise her, but Ella--Ella makes me think of her. I just want to know how she's doing...what she's doing...
I'm upsetting myself again...I can't...I have to go write Andromeda, before I do something stupid.
