Secret Diary of an 'Other Woman'

[Elsie James]

[Elsie James]

2nd March, 2011.

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To be perfectly honest, these things aren't really my style: I don't like leaving infomation where it's liable to be found. I think it's partly because of my personality, but partly because of all the legislation regarding patient confidentiality that I have to deal with on a daily basis. But, I got given this for Christmas (from, er, Mark), and it seems a shame to waste it, so I'm giving it a whirl.

It's odd being back at Hogwarts. Calming, but weird. I was all set to be a surgical healer, part of the advanced fast-track course at St. Mungo's, and then... well, then Mark happened, I guess. It started out okay, better than okay, better than wonderful even, but real life and wives and career prospects tend to cloud the beautiful naivety of idealstic love, and so I fled, and ended up back here.

Yet no matter how far removed I am from Mark, I'm not sure I can quite forget him yet. I think I'm (unfortunately, regrettably) well on my way to dating most of the men in Hogsmeade, and some of them in Diagon Alley. They're lovely guys, truly amazing most of them, and they're not married, or my tutor or anything awkward, but that also means that they're not Mark. I've not even attempted to even think about a romantic relationship with anyone here though - even though some of them are pretty scrummy! (Jack, Azarius(?), Digger...) - if I've learnt anything from past experiences, it's don't get involved with your bosses or your workmates. Ever.

Mind you, speaking of relationships and exes at Hogwarts, Luke's here... It's lovely to see him again, and I'm so glad we're still friends. I've missed him so much recently, well, since graduation, what with Healer training and internship and everything, we'd just sort of lost contact for a while.

I seem to have made some new friends here - Jaklyn Anderson and Digger Powell. I think they're a couple of years older than me, but I'm not sure. She's basically the complete opposite of me - she's never even properly kissed anyone! I know! - and I get the impression that Digger's got some complicated unresolved-sexual-tension-possible-previous-romantic-history thing going on with Emily. I got horrendously pissed with them, and ended up telling them about Mark - I like to think that cemented our friendship, else I just made an arse of myself for nothing!

Why does everything relate back to Mark, it can't be healthy. Bastard.

My work here is a lot more easy-going than I've been used to. Today I had a girl who'd fainted at the sight of blood - nice and easy to patch up, all she needed was a glass of water, a little medication and a note for her teacher. No pressure at all, which is pretty fab at the minute! I miss surgery though, it's what I've always wanted to do.

It seems like my mother was right all along: writing in a diary is quite cathartic. Who knows, I might even stick with it! Elsie James' List of Failed Dates has quite a ring to it, don't you think?

S'laters, alligators xxx.

[Elsie James]

8th April, 2011.

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Oh dear lord, how things have changed since the last time I had time to write in this...

Okay. I'm just going to come out with it, say it straight. Mark? Me? It's all back on again. Well, sort of.

I agreed to meet up with him in the Leaky Cauldron, to talk. Just talk, honest. Except that we didn't, just talk I mean. We ended up shagging, making love- whatever you like to call it. Twice in once afternoon. We forgot silencing charms, it was that good. And left the door open. It was bloody fantastic: whatever else, that man is a good lay. (And I love him). And I was all blissful, and on cloud nine and no longer completely pissed off with him, so I held his hand down the corridor, into the pub... until we saw his daughter. And then it all went wrong. Horrifically wrong. Awfully, horribly wrong. Because she saw us, and she put two and two together and... ohdearlord, what have I done?

Over and out.

[Elsie James]

24th April, 2011.

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Me and Mark? We're over. Sort of. Not yet- three months, and then we are. For good.

...I think my heart's breaking, and I'm Elsie James -widely rumoured to be completely heartless and totally uncaring - so that doesn't happen, and just aedsgthyj.

Kate found out we'd had that afternoon in the Leaky Cauldron and apparently went beserk. I can't say I blame her.

We had sex on his office desk today. But Mark feels guilty, so.. yeah.

We're having a dirty week away though, provided I can get the time off work. In Paris. Because he has a conference there. It's going to be amazing. Bittersweet, but fantastic. A whole week: we can pretend we're a 'proper' couple - spend the night together, and everything.

I love him. I'm an idiot.

[Elsie James]

14th May, 2011.

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Paris was beautiful, dearest diary.

Wonderful, and special, and just... heavenly. I'm such an idiot - he's married, with kids. Urgh.

We had sex, and could stay the night afterwards. We talked about our childhoods, our aspirations - everything. More sex, more snuggling...

We walked down the street, holding hands! Fearless. It was blissful.

I'm still floating on a little cloud of happiness, people keep asking me if I had a good holiday, with a knowing little wink- they don't know I went with Mark, though.

Life is wonderful.

[Elsie James]

15th May, 2011.

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Today has been awful.

There are no words to describe it. But there are, I'll find some, when I've stopped being over-dramatic.

Becky knows about me and Mark. I don't know how, but she does. And she's made her displeasure very clear indeed.

My office and living quarters were wrecked yesterday: everything was ruined. My photos, my memories, my work papers: everything of importance was ruined. I've fixed most of it now, but not all.

It's not just the physical damage that's upsetting, though. It's the fact that someone (Becky, I think -I don't know who else it'd be) has been through my belongings, my personal possessions, everything I hold dear. I feel violated.

I think my heart is breaking, and I don't know what to do. I feel so guilty: I have caused this girl so much upset by loving her father that I have driven her to do this.

I think Mark might break up with me over this. I don't blame him.