SHAYLYNN

[Roland Thomas]

GIVE ME BACK MY JUMPER, MY SOCKS, AND MY DAMN MITTENS. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN.

I don't care if mine are better.

And who keeps letting you in the Gryffindor tower to raid my shit. Tell me now. Better not be Creevey, the man slut, I told him to stay away from you.



YOUR BIG BROTHER.

PS: I WANT MY MANCHESTER JERSEY TOO.

[Shay Thomas]

WHAT IS THE NEED FOR ALL THESE CAPITALIZED LETTERS I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND. That's it. I'm telling mum that we need to send you back to primary school. Or something. I can hear your voice in my head and it's not funny because when you write to me in nearly all caps I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE YELLING AT ME IN PERSON. And that just isn't cool.

I WOULD GIVE IT ALL BACK IF YOU STOPPED YELLING AT ME, BUT NOW I CAN'T EVEN REALLY CONSIDER IT. Not sure why you find it so fun to harass me. Probably the same reason why I find it so fun to come into your dormitory and take all your things.

HAHAHAHA LACHLAN CREEVEY. He's quite a good snog, if you should know. And that's all you'll hear from me about him.

Your little-but-much-more-mature-than-you sister,
Shay

P.S. NO, THAT ONE IS MY FAVORITE AND YOU CAN'T HAVE IT. No one's going to let you into the Hufflepuff common room either to come steal it back, so ha! Joke's on you.

[Roland Thomas]

THEY'RE NECESSARY BECAUSE YOU'RE HARD-HEADED AND DON'T LISTEN. I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH MY SHIT. GIVE IT BACK.

Also, if I'm going back to primary school, you are too for not knowing your manners. AND IT IS COOL BECAUSE I WANT MY SHIT.

I'm not harrassing, I'm demanding my things. There's a difference.

I'll kill him. Plain and simple.

Mature my arse, that's why you're sticking your tongue out at me as you wrote that, right?

Rol

PS: IT'S MINE, I BOUGHT IT. GIVE IT NOW. Ten sickles say that I can trade Louis Weasley passwords, just so he can get into Gryffindor and fuck with his own sister.

[Shay Thomas]

BUT I'M ALWAYS MORE TEMPTED TO TOUCH YOUR SHIT WHEN YOU TELL ME NOT TO. It's all your fault, seriously. You know I've always been fascinated with reverse psychology.

Now you're just being rude! I'm the one with no manners? Says the guy who wrote to his baby sister in nearly all capital letters. That's bad enough as it is, and now you're demanding to have your stuff back. Can't we just share for a bit like the nice siblings I know we are?

No you won't. You're scared.

How did you know?

Lots of love but none of your stuff back not now or ever,
Shay

P.S. WHAT NO STOP, LEAVE LOUIS ALONE. HE'S SO CUTE, AND YOU'RE OVER HERE PLANNING ON VANDALIZING HIS INNOCENCE. I do not stand for this nonsense. I'll talk to him before you talk to him, so don't even try. You're running out of options, big bro.

[Roland Thomas]

SHAYLYNN,

MY SHIT. Screw psychology.

It would have been nice if you were to first ASK before taking my stuff. You can't ask after the fact.

Scared my arse - He's got a baby sister, he should know what it feels like. I'll kick his arse, though. I'm. It afraid.

That's it, I'm changing passwords with someone. I'm getting my stuff.

Love,
Your big bro.




PS: Innocent? A Weasley? Never. Also, I forgot to tell you but I got you a new practice football.

[Shay Thomas]

ROLAND,

I don't care.

Hmm, you bring up an interesting point. But still, what you say now doesn't change the fact that I'm currently in possession of your stuff and you aren't.

Fuck all you will, since it'd be slightly if not significantly discriminatory against all the other guys I've messed around with if you only went after Lachlan Creevey, don'tcha think?

DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, I'M NOT GIVING IN TO YOUR MADNESS.

P.S. Why, have you snogged a Weasley lately? Likely explanation for you getting your knickers all twisted up at the mention of one.

P.P.S. Can I pretty-please borrow this new football and try it out? [See, this time I'm asking politely! It's a scandal.]