Elisabeth [Faye]

[Cole Harington]

Elisabeth Stanley Stanley,

You still have my jumper. I don't have any particular attachment to it, but I'd like it back at some point. It's only fair after you drank my tea.

––Cole

[Faye Stanley]

Harvey,

I'm almost sort of impressed that you figured out and remembered who I am. But yeah, whatever, fine. Will I come down the shop and get it for you, or would that be cramping your style?

Faye.

[Cole Harington]

Elisabeth,

Almost sort of? Interesting grammar. Nah, do whatever. You're not uptight enough to cramp my style.

Oh, and Zanna was over yesterday looking for Sam. Next time she comes over I'll tell her you said hi.

––Cole

[Faye Stanley]

Harvey,

Are you ever going to call me by my real name, or? And the effort of walking to Hogsmeade isn't calling to me. Can't you just part with this jumper gracefully? I mean, it's a fricking jumper.

Yeah, it'd be great if you said hi to Zanna for me. Oh no, hang on, it wouldn't.

Faye.

[Cole Harington]

Elisabeth,

Not until you call me by mine. Tough luck, I still want the jumper back. Get one of your friends to drop it off or something. I'm sure you've got loads of them.

Well, I'm still going to. Cheers.

––Cole

[Faye Stanley]

Harvey,

You were the one who started these letters off calling me Elisabeth. You can start off with the real names. I use the term 'friend' very loosely when talking about quite a lot of them in here. But yeah, if someone's heading off to Hogsmeade, I'll tell them to call in and give it to you.

Don't be a dick.

Faye.

[Cole Harington]

Elisabeth,

Is that an ultimatum? Because I'm actually perfectly fine with continuing on not calling you by your real name. You're too lazy to come down to Hogsmeade and do anything about it anyway. Whatever suits you. Will they be as snarky as you are?

I'm not.

––Cole

[Faye Stanley]

Harvey,

Then I'm perfectly fine with continuing to call you Harvey. We'll see who cracks first. And I'll probably see you next time I see Sam so I have ample opportunity to do something about it then. And I am not snarky. I am prickly.

I don't want you telling Zanna I said things I didn't say.

Faye.

P.S. No, no-one will be as snarky as I am.

[Cole Harington]

Elisabeth,

Gorgeous, let’s go with that plan, because I’ll never get tired of this. The name Harvey is starting to grow on me, surprisingly. You’ll have to try something else to be in control of this situation. The next time you willingly see Sam will probably be never. Don’t lie. Cool, if that makes you feel better about yourself then go crazy being all prickly.

Then tell me what I should tell Zanna when I see her next. Completely free of charge. Today’s just the day that everything is going right for you. You know me, just selflessly playing messenger in the Stanley clan.

––Cole

P.S. But I thought you were prickly, not snarky?

[Faye Stanley]

Harvey,

I guess that's good, because I've forgotten your real name. All I know is that it's something dumb. Yeah, that's true enough, but Sam and Zanna seem to have the knack of being in the same places as me at the same time so seeing him (and by extension you) at some point is inevitable. I've learnt not to fight the fact that I'll end up seeing my siblings every now and then. It's a grit my teeth and bear it sort of thing.

Don't tell her anything, Mister Selfless. Why the hell are you still writing to me I am not Zanna I am not Sam There is not entertainment factor

Faye.

P.S. Even at my least snarky I somehow seem to be snarkier than everyone else.

[Cole Harington]

Elisabeth,

It says my name at the bottom of each of my letters. I’ll write it more noticeably this time so you remember, considering you’re likely to go on about how you’ve already thrown my previous letters out in the rubbish. Just me being incredibly thoughtful and making this whole process easier for you. Actually, Sam and I live together, and I can assure you that Zanna isn’t here all the time.

I’ll try my best. Can’t make any immediate promises.

––Cole

P.S. Not snarkier than Zanna.

[Faye Stanley]

Harvey,

The fact that you think I don't lose interest by the end of your letters is sort of amusing. But I couldn't help notice your real name this time because of how helpfully large you've written it. Thanks for that. I'll probably forget it again in a while. Names take a while to stick with me. The fact that you live with Sam and have to see Zanna every now and again almost makes me feel sorry for you. But as long as it isn't me. And anyways, you chose to live with Sam, so I can't spare much sympathy.

She'll know if you make something up. I don't even talk to her unless I'm obliged to.

Faye.

P.S. Zanna is much more than snarky. And not in a good way.

[Cole Harington]

Elisabeth,

Knew it. Don't be overly difficult, there's a reason you're still writing back to me. And on the contrary, I feel sorry for you because you're so disinterested in your siblings. I can anticipate the snarky comment you're bound to come up with in response to that about how you're far too good for them and therefore me and all I'm going to put forth is that I feel like I should take your place in the family. It'd be a win-win for everyone.

She loves me. I talk to her all the time.

––Cole

P.S. That's how you see it, but you're biased because you've made it clear you don't enjoy interacting with her. It's that simple.

[Faye Stanley]

Harvey,

Can't seem to help being overly difficult. I was born with the knack. And fuck you. Take my fucking place in the family, then. You're just like Sam and Zanna, after all. You fit. You've got all the characteristics. Arrogant, conceited, incompetent, annoying. And I'm sure Sam and Zanna would prefer it if you replaced me.

God, didn't anyone ever tell you that it's rude to say stuff like that to people? Or do you think that your supposed winning charm will get you out of having to use basic manners?

Well done. I'll go and polish your medal.

Faye.

P.S. And there's a reason that I don't enjoy interacting with her. She's a bitch.
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ooc. - sorry, he sort of hit a nerve when he suggested he replace her and she can't ever hide it when she's angry asdfghjkl; why can't they be friends and drink tea and share jumpers

[Cole Harington]

Elisabeth,

Fuck you too, though I’m not sure what the big deal is for you to get all prickly over. You’re the one who doesn’t like your siblings. Don’t get all hormonal with me for something that’s your own fault, for Christ’s sake. You need to chill out.

How am I the one without manners? And who said anything about my winning charm? Never heard of such a thing, I’m appalled that you’d even bring it up in the first place.

I dunno how you got a hold of my imaginary medal. I'd like it back, thanks. Just because I share a flat with your beloved brother doesn’t mean you can go through my things whenever you fancy. Can’t believe I’m mentioning manners for the second time in this letter, but I have to because clearly you’re lacking in that department.

––Cole

P.S. Harsh. If she’s a bitch, then what are you?

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(OOC - all of our characters are dumb omfg i am done)