Post by Lysander Scamander on Mar 2, 2011 15:52:56 GMT -5
DETENTIONS WITH LILY: 47.................||...................DETENTIONS BY MYSELF: 12
Diary, I can tell this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. We are already off to a good start. You really are a sexy thing to look at, all black and just stuffed with blank pages for me to doodle all over. I've decided to use the inside of your front cover as a detention chart, just because I need to prove a point.
Cunningly, I have named you with really appalling grammar, so that Lily won't touch you for fear of being infected with the inability to choose the correct verb when writing.
(I'm only using fancy words so that anybody who does read this knows that I'm not as illiterate as your title suggests, Diary. See, who said Gryffindors can't be sneaky?)
I believe I am getting off the point. What is a diary for, after all, other than to write records of my life?
Truth be told, Diary, I don't think you can handle the awesomeness that is my life. You might explode, like how mortals used to if Greek Gods revealed their true forms to them.
By the way, while we're on the subject of Greek Gods, Lorcan told me last week that they never existed, he just made it up when we were little. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW COMPLETELY GUTTED I WAS TO FIND THAT OUT? (If we were talking to each other I'd be screaming right now. But, alas, I am writing in you and you - well, you're a diary.)
Anyway, moving on - so far this month I have been in detentions many times (mostly with Lily, see inside front cover), resulting from but not limited to: trying to feed Dianna Grey to the Giant Squid, sitting in a box (with Lily) in the middle of the Entrance Hall and refusing to get out and telling all the teachers that it was our time machine, painting some Slytherins pink, painting some other Slytherins blue, pranking the oldest Malfoy, falling asleep in Charms, falling asleep in DADA, falling asleep in Transfiguration, falling asleep in - well, you get the point, accidentally (and I mean ACCIDENTALLY) locking four Ravenclaws in a classroom together and forgetting about them for a couple of days, transfiguring the caretaker's cat into a goldfish (I got it a nice bowl, though), and having a loud argument throughout Potions about the relative merits of Oxford commas.
(I believe in them. Lots of other people don't.)
I'd tell you more about my fabulous exploits, Diary, but frankly I haven't been discovered as the perpetrator of most of them, so I'd prefer to keep quiet about them for the time being.
I think everything else is going well. I'm getting the occasional pass in lessons, I think Jo and I are going to form a Singles Club (possibly with Dominique, but not until I learn to tell the difference between her and various other Weasleys), Scorpius Malfoy looks majorly uptight about something (this is always good news), Rose looks majorly uptight about something (slightly less good news since she can get really scary), ditto Roxanne. Chloe is as oblivious to the world around her as ever, I think Louis is having a blast in Hufflepuff (that kid is a boy after my own heart, a real little prankster), and the Giant Squid has finally got a friend. I gave him a little toy octopus to play with, and enlarged it so it didn't float up one of his nostrils or whatever.
(Do octopuses - octopi? - even have nostrils?)
Lily's been on the quiet side, and I'm not really sure why, although it may have something to do with the fact that she got an O in DADA recently and is too embarrassed to tell me about it (s'okay, though, I was poking through her books and I found it). Maybe I'll do something to cheer her up, like playing Giant Dominoes with the library bookcases or The Ground Is Lava all the way from Hogsmeade back to Gryffindor Tower.
Right, Diary, I've rambled on for far too long and by the sound of the angry shouting not far from here, my hiding place is about to be discovered. Got to run, I bid you adieu, and until next time!
Diary, I can tell this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. We are already off to a good start. You really are a sexy thing to look at, all black and just stuffed with blank pages for me to doodle all over. I've decided to use the inside of your front cover as a detention chart, just because I need to prove a point.
Cunningly, I have named you with really appalling grammar, so that Lily won't touch you for fear of being infected with the inability to choose the correct verb when writing.
(I'm only using fancy words so that anybody who does read this knows that I'm not as illiterate as your title suggests, Diary. See, who said Gryffindors can't be sneaky?)
I believe I am getting off the point. What is a diary for, after all, other than to write records of my life?
Truth be told, Diary, I don't think you can handle the awesomeness that is my life. You might explode, like how mortals used to if Greek Gods revealed their true forms to them.
By the way, while we're on the subject of Greek Gods, Lorcan told me last week that they never existed, he just made it up when we were little. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW COMPLETELY GUTTED I WAS TO FIND THAT OUT? (If we were talking to each other I'd be screaming right now. But, alas, I am writing in you and you - well, you're a diary.)
Anyway, moving on - so far this month I have been in detentions many times (mostly with Lily, see inside front cover), resulting from but not limited to: trying to feed Dianna Grey to the Giant Squid, sitting in a box (with Lily) in the middle of the Entrance Hall and refusing to get out and telling all the teachers that it was our time machine, painting some Slytherins pink, painting some other Slytherins blue, pranking the oldest Malfoy, falling asleep in Charms, falling asleep in DADA, falling asleep in Transfiguration, falling asleep in - well, you get the point, accidentally (and I mean ACCIDENTALLY) locking four Ravenclaws in a classroom together and forgetting about them for a couple of days, transfiguring the caretaker's cat into a goldfish (I got it a nice bowl, though), and having a loud argument throughout Potions about the relative merits of Oxford commas.
(I believe in them. Lots of other people don't.)
I'd tell you more about my fabulous exploits, Diary, but frankly I haven't been discovered as the perpetrator of most of them, so I'd prefer to keep quiet about them for the time being.
I think everything else is going well. I'm getting the occasional pass in lessons, I think Jo and I are going to form a Singles Club (possibly with Dominique, but not until I learn to tell the difference between her and various other Weasleys), Scorpius Malfoy looks majorly uptight about something (this is always good news), Rose looks majorly uptight about something (slightly less good news since she can get really scary), ditto Roxanne. Chloe is as oblivious to the world around her as ever, I think Louis is having a blast in Hufflepuff (that kid is a boy after my own heart, a real little prankster), and the Giant Squid has finally got a friend. I gave him a little toy octopus to play with, and enlarged it so it didn't float up one of his nostrils or whatever.
(Do octopuses - octopi? - even have nostrils?)
Lily's been on the quiet side, and I'm not really sure why, although it may have something to do with the fact that she got an O in DADA recently and is too embarrassed to tell me about it (s'okay, though, I was poking through her books and I found it). Maybe I'll do something to cheer her up, like playing Giant Dominoes with the library bookcases or The Ground Is Lava all the way from Hogsmeade back to Gryffindor Tower.
Right, Diary, I've rambled on for far too long and by the sound of the angry shouting not far from here, my hiding place is about to be discovered. Got to run, I bid you adieu, and until next time!
