Magdalena Crivelli

don't yell at me! i just had a lot of inspiration for this character, and i had to make her. =X i fail, i know. i hope everything is filled out okay.

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[/i] left us.)

Home-cooked meals. I cannot pass them up.

I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. Instead, I keep it locked up in a box and stuffed deep inside of me. My dad says it'll be a pity if I miss out on love, but I look at him and think, it'll be a pity if I don't protect myself.[/ul]
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[/b] - I'm not this all of the time, but I can definitely be at times. A primse example would be changing my name - I realize that it's not exactly daring or whatever, but I lie to the professors about my real name to escape myself. Sometimes, I use this technique on my father when I want him to move to a certain country, or if I want to spend more time with him. I'm not proud, but it usually works.

Relaxed - I'm probably one of the most relaxed people you'll ever meet. I don't like drama of any kind, so I'll avoid it at all costs. I like when everything is running smoothly, and there is little to worry about. I don't get too worked up over my studies; I get my work done, and that's what matters. I may not even stay in the magical world when I graduate. I have no ties here, really, so what's the point?

Unforgiving - I hold grudges. Like you wouldn't imagine. I don't forgive, and I don't forget. My dad says not to carry all that weight around, but I feel like it's important. I don't want the same person to hurt me over and over, so why should I forgive them in the first place? They obviously don't care about me or my feelings, so fuck them. Now they get to deal with my wrath.

Eclectic - I'm ever-changing. I'm all of these styles and personalities and names rolled into one. I'm like someone who suffers from DID (Disassociative Identity Disorder aka Multiple Personality Disorder), except I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm in control of all of my personalities. I'm never the same person, because I'm never in one place long enough to be ME. (I don't even know who I am, though.)

Misguided - That what my dad says, at least. I don't really understand it, because it's not like I'm a bad kid. I don't sleep around, I don't dress like a slag, I don't do drugs, etc. I mean, I've done some 'bad' things, but nothing my dad knows about. When I ask him to explain what he means, he just stares at me and shakes his head. Faulty judgement or reasoning... hmm.[/ul]
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[/i] that we'd do something fun when I got home from school. But when I got home, she was gone. Most of her belongings were gone as well. I remember finding a seashell lying on the floor - one I'd painted for her years ago. I'd gotten the shell from Israel when she took my there one summer when I was eight. To this day, I still don't know if she purposefully dropped it, or if it were an accident. I don't have the guts to ask her, either.

Moving on... my dad came home around 7pm that night, surprised to find me alone. I was so hungry, though, that I barely noticed my mother hadn't returned with him like I'd hoped she would. He took me out to some fast food restaurant (this would mark the end of our home-cooked meals), but was very quiet. It didn't sink in (for me) until a whole week had gone by, that my mother wasn't coming back. I remember crying at night, wishing she were there to tuck me in. My father was at a loss himself, and (as he told me later) did whatever he could to track her down. My 11th birthday rolled around, and there was still no word from my mother. I received a strange letter from a dark-haired woman. She spoke of magic and wands and castles and spells. It was all intriguing, but seemed too good to be true. And my father was skeptical of her as well. It took a few visits before he finally relented and allowed me to go to magic school. (He threatened the dark-haired lady, too, telling her that if this were some joke, he'd be suing and blah blah blah.) It wasn't a joke.

I went to Hogwarts that autumn, and never looked back. I missed my dad, of course, but this was new territory to explore. I was so excited! I was nervous during the sorting ceremony and worried that I wouldn't make any friends, but I came to realize that I fit right in with my house. It all went by so quickly and before I knew it, it was Christmastime. I returned home to spend the holidays with my father, which is when he told me that he'd gotten another job. It involved a lot of traveling, so it was a good thing I was away at this 'boarding' school. The day after Christmas, we heard from my mother. Rather, my father did - I refused to speak to her. Even at such a young age, I was stubborn and unforgiving. She apparently apologized for leaving us with no notice, but it didn't matter to me. (My dad told me, years later, that my mum claimed she felt suffocated. I hated her even more.)

I finished my first year at Hogwarts and, that summer, my father and I moved to France. I tranferred to Beauxbatons. But I wasn't Magdalena Crivelli. I used my middle name - Shoshannah. That's who I was during my second year of witch training. The first day, when I corrected all of my professors, they gave me funny looks, but never said anything. It was so easy to change my entire being. Almost too easy. (Like mother, like daughter, right?) I wasn't allowed home in the Christmas holidays that year because my dad was moving - again. I didn't get to see him until the Easter holiday and, by the time my second year ended, we were in another new place. This pattern continued all these years. A new place, a new magical school and a new me. I was always somebody different, somebody new. And it wasn't just my name, either. I changed my entire personality. The only constant personality I ever have is with my father, who knows nothing about my changing ways. This job, relocating all of the time, was he way to get through the pain and loss of my mother, and then their divorce. I gave myself different names to forget about Magdalena Crivelli. To forget about my mum. To forget the pain she put me through.

But, like I said before, all good things must come to an end. We're back in England now (and it seems like we're staying), and I'm back at Hogwarts. I couldn't change my name because people here already knew me. I'm forced to be Magdalena Crivelli. I'm forced to be somebody I hate, with a life I hate.[/ul]
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